A Little of the Old Out and In

Out: Robert Novak. Former Senator, the late Daniel Patrick Moynihan (RIP), a decent and highly religious man who had a keen eye for character, told his then-aide Tim Russert once that he thought Novak --in so many words -- was too cruel a human type to be a true Catholic. Bang on observation, Senator.

The sleazy conservative talking head, known to Washington insiders as "The Prince of Darkness," mentioned on CNN's Capitol Gang the unfortunate election of Marion Barry to the DC City Council, a move that I, too, lament.

But Novak went one step further -- a step that crossed the line of respectable commentary -- when he said, "(They) just aren't ready for self government." Just who are "they", Robert Novak? Asshole. The dusky-hued DC residents who clean the houses of people like CNN commentators, the securtity guards in the capitol, the backbone of Georgetown, who are fed up with the "taxation without representation"?

So fed up are they indeed that thery would elect a shameful former crackhead like Barry to the city council as a loud, resounding, "Fuck you, very much," to the Man, the forces, the Novak's of the world, that would keep them from a richly deserved statehood?

What is DC anyway? A protectorate? A colony? A spot where good help isn't hard to find? DC has a larger population than the alabaster state of Wyoming, and, yet, their Congressperson-at-large cannot vote on the floor of the House.

And, it would appear, Novak liketh it that way. Imagine the chaos two guaranteed African-American senators in the legislative would bring to Mr. Novak's well ordered pseudo-Catholic little make-believe world of endless capitol gains tax cuts.

Charmed, I'm sure.



In: Topic A With Tina Brown. Who knew Donald Rumsfeld had a mean Sandy Berger imitation in his repertoire? Does it involve stuffing documents and pillows under his button down suit? According to Henry the Intern:

"Hersh complained his sources and administration officials took the President's 'with us or against us' line personally after 9/11 and shunned him. 'It's hard not to like [Defense Secretary Donald] Rumsfeld,' said Hersh, recalling Rummy's 'great imitation' of former national security advisor Samuel Berger, but he 'turned cold very quickly. . . and his door is shut.' Worse still, he told Tina, officials are scared to even vet his stories.'"

Way to go, Tina.

Out: Kimora Lee Simmons. It's official. We finally have documentation that annoying materialist Kimora Lee Simmons does indeed have a face like an ass, according to Gatecrasher:

"Quotable Kimora Lee Simmons recalled on the set of 'Life and Style' this week how a doctor once tried to persuade her to have Botox injections. 'He told me, 'You could swipe a credit card through that butt crack you have on your forehead!'"

No fucking kidding.

Further, according to a Page Six blind item:

"WHICH men's fashion editor was seen taking a leak on the side of a building outside Kimora Lee Simmon's Baby Phat fashion show? He later had a hissy fit about his fourth-row seat."

In: VH1's Surreal Life. Am I the only one out there totally addicted to this show?!