Saturday, September 25, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out



In: Nice Day for a ... Faux Wedding. (see above) TheSmokinggun has the faux wedding documents of Britney and Federline, and, if I were at People Magazine, I would be too happy of having spent 7 figures to cover, essentlially, a media dog and pony show (with chickenfingers ... mustn't forget the chickenfingers) :

"We've all been there before: You're itching to get hitched, but negotiations with your beloved over the prenuptial agreement have snagged. But since you really, really want to get married, you bring in the lawyers to write up a legal agreement regarding your planned 'faux' marriage and 'alleged' wedding ceremony. That's the predicament lovebirds Britney Spears and Kevin Federline faced earlier this month as they planned their glorious union. With no prenup in place, the couple signed the below agreement--first obtained this week by Us Weekly--regarding their September 18 'wedding,' agreeing that their blessed union would not be legally valid until the pair later finalized details of Federline's dowry."

In Uganda, where I was born, it is not uncommon for dowry's -- in the rural areas of the country -- to be paid in cattle. That information is a porpos of nothing -- I just thought I'd throw it out there and see if it marinades.

Out: Fabian Basabe. This man would attend the opening of an envelope; he's that bad about being seen, and, yet, what -- pray tell -- does he actually do?

Why do we know his name? Many moons ago, Howard Stern invented a party game he called The Jenna Dewan Game. Dewan, you'll remember, was the back-up dancer who dated Justin Timberlake, and thus, voila, was famous. To this day, many will know her name, but not, say, Aaron Burr, or Homer, or Miles Davis. Famous, Madame Dewan, for who no actual contribution to society, but merely whom she dated. So, asked Stern, wanting to get the game going, who else's name do you know who have done essentially nothing? The Corsair would like to answer that by raising his hand, making knowing Arnold Horshack-like noises, and saying, in a martini-dry voice and a simultaneous Averted Gaze, "Fabian Basabe."

In: Pop Culture. While Yale is examining, pondering really, the cultural impact of Michael Jackson, well, I can't help but be skeptical as to why. The Corsair wonders if all those social science-lit big brains made anything out of these dubious (Averted Gaze) lyrics from "Ben":

"Ben, most people would turn you away/ I don't listen to a word they say/ They don't see you as I do/ I wish they would try to I'm sure they'd think again /If they had a friend like Ben"

Please enlighten us, Harold Bloom, he of the dougey hands.

Out: Network Sitcoms Enamoured of the Fat Guy-Hot Chick Scenario. Rick Martin of the Old Gray Lady tomorrow muses on this subject:

"AS a former television critic, I'm no longer required by law to spot fall-season trends, but some are too disturbing to ignore. Like how all family sitcoms � virtually all sitcoms now � are about a fat guy with a hot wife.

"From CBS, the network of 'The King of Queens' and 'Still Standing' comes 'Listen Up,' the new Jason Alexander show, and 'Center of the Universe,' starring John Goodman's jowls. ABC, home of 'According to Jim,' (as in Belushi) has a new comedy called 'Rodney,' with a country comic named Rodney Carrington, who's not exactly fat but definitely stocky. Fox has no new fat-guy offerings, but 'The Bernie Mac Show' and 'Quintuplets,' with Andy Richter, are both back. Not to mention Homer Simpson. Speaking of porked-out cartoon dads, the hefty hero of Fox's uncanceled animated series 'Family Guy' will return to the network next spring."

"... Whose fantasy of the American family is this: men's, women's or both? And does it bear any resemblance to reality?"

Great questions both.




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