A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Deathbed Confessions. Okay, so there was only a 1 to 3 percent chance Bill Clinton was going to that big McDonald's in the sky. Whatever. Apparently, some orderly or nurse or whomever was able to sell Bill Clinton's "deathbed confessions" to the National Enquirer:

"Bill Clinton made a stunning confession to his wife Hillary as he was hospitalized for chest pains and told he needed life-saving surgery.

"'I've made terrible mistakes, being unfaithful, but I love you and you're going to see a whole new Bill,' he told Hillary, according to an insider."

Which only serves to make us like the big guy even better.

Out: Jason Alexander, the ex-Mr. Britney Spears. Lloyd Grove reports (2nd item):

"Britney's first husband, childhood friend Jason Alexander, insults Federline in a radio interview on 'The Larry Elder Show' which debuts Monday.

"'Looks like a punk,' Alexander sniffs ..."

But he does he want to be married to her?

"'Now? After everything? No, I wouldn't,' he says. 'Nothing against her, but I wouldn't want to be a part of that family, man.'

Of course not, silly. Britney doesn't have a penis.

In: Anorexia. Fashion Week throws light on the odd eating habits of the rich.Fashionweekdaily chronicles the breakfasts, or lack thereof, of three such power women. Here are their -- shall we say -- "eccentric" answers to the rather common question, 'What Did you have for Breakfast?"

"Tinsley Mortimer: 'Iced coffee and some gum.'

"Candace Bushnell: 'I never eat breakfast. I start my day with champagne.'

"Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss: 'Polly-O string cheese and some coffee.'

"Cristina Greeven Cuomo: 'No breakfast today. But last night there was no food and this movie premiere so I had a box of cheese and crackers.'"

If only some television show could get a camera crew at those tents and ask each and everyone what they had for breakfast. I'm talking Emmy's and Ace Awards, people.