Anna Nicole Strikes Out



Newly svelte high school dropout and former fry cook at -- ahem -- Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken (Averted Gaze), Anna Nicole Smith as per usual, made a spectacular ass out of herself. According to the 3AM Girls, she was in rare form at something called the "World Music Awards" party. Hilarity ensues:

"... The blonde babe spent the Hole night trying to persuade Courtney Love to quit the bash and come away with her.

"And cleaned-up Courtney did everything she could to avoid her. After a quick hug and a polite chat about her new haircut by hairdresser to the stars Johnnie Sapong, Courtney kept her distance."

Which reminds me of the joke about the swine -- Question: What do you get when you cross a pig with Courtney Love? Answer: A pig that will prop itself up on it's two hind hoofs, drape the other two over it's breast, shake it's head and answer, "My good man, there some things even a pig won't do."

And so, now, Courtney Love.

"Then sexy Smithy, who married 90-year-old billionaire J Howard Marshall a year before he died, made a move on 19-year-old poppet Avril Lavigne."

Holy fuck! The Corsair grabs some salt free popcorn, leaps -- in a single bound -- onto his chair, and is riveted to the screen.

"Sadly it was a non-starter."

The Corsair tosses popcorn high into the air and coughs under his breath an obscenity.

"... amorous Anna set her sights on two lucky ladies - a scantily-dressed hanger-on called Lesley and her buxom pal. Bullseye."

The Corsair is busy picking up the popcorn again.

"She was soon bumping and grinding to her heart's content. An onlooker at the �250,000 event at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas said: 'It was like watching a porno film the way Anna and those girls were all over each other.

"'They should have just got a room!'

"And maybe they did.

"Soon after the dancing turned hot and heavy Anna and her new chums left the do together."

If only that were all (The Corsair makes rapid hand gestures) if only that were all ... Earlier in the evening, the Anna Nicole chatted with the 3AM Girls:

"... the conversation with the super-rich celeb proved slightly crazed.

"Even finding out who made her dress was a drama. 'The designer's going to be so mad with me,' she drawled. 'I can't remember who she is.'

"When we suggested checking the label she replied, 'I can't. I cut it out because it was scratching me.'

"Anna then roped (The 3AM Girls) into a search for the missing tag, getting down on all fours and crawling about looking for it.

"Miraculously, it was found but even the name 'L'Impasse' was a struggle. 'It's called, er, Limp Ass. Ha ha, I'm wearing a limp ass,' Anna chortled."

Oh no, she didn't ...

" ... When we mentioned that goodie bags were being handed out to presenters, (she) loudly demanded one of her own.

"'Where's my f***ing goodie bag?' she shouted at her flunkies. 'These girls say there's goodie bags around here and soon there won't be any left. Why the f**k haven't I got one?'

"Turning back to us she said: 'You know how important the gift basket at the end is, right girls? I didn't come all the way here to get nothing.'"

All together, guys: Like School on Saturday ... No Class.

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