Thursday, July 07, 2005

Britney: Twins?


(image via

Is Britney Spears expecting twins? Our favorite born again Christian sure looks to be packing a deuce. That Kevy, he's as potent as a rodent; that Britney, she's as fertile as the Nile. Memo to Donald Rumsfeld: Harness and exploit the untold powers of Kevin Federline's sperm in the form of a new tactical offensive weapon against Al Quaeda. According to Lowdown:

"Lowdown hears that the 23-year-old Mrs. Kevin Federline has just learned she will be giving birth to twins.

"Yesterday Spears' rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnick, responded: 'If she's having twins, I have not been told that yet. Let me make some calls.' She never called back.

"According to a Lowdown spy with knowledge of the situation, the revelation that they're facing twice the financial burden has made the pregnant pop tart clamp down on her backup-dancing husband's extravagant spending habits."

"'Kevin's on a leash,' says the spy. 'He's been spending too much, flaunting his new American Express black card. She told him, We have bills to pay, this s- adds up. He's got a bigger entourage than the guy on HBO! They all go golfing every morning.'"

Yes. Well, leaving aside the leisurely golfing life of K-Fed's Entourage, and ignoring the unfortunate sadomasochistic leash imagery, The Corsair would be remiss if we didn't offer up some possible names for the impending offspring, keeping in mind the couple's lifestyle, to wit:

Mac & Cheese, Spam and 'lil Gravy, Possum and Tobasco, Red Beans & Rice, Mamma's Twos Pralines, Jello-O and fruit cocktail, Pork rinds & Catsup, Skyler and Skyler, and, my favorite, in the case of triplets: Pabst, Blue and Ribbon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Obviously K-Fed's getting what he can while he can. I mean, what the marriage can't have more than a year to go, can it?