Madonna to Quit Making Movies; Thank You, Jesus



Cindy Adams, our favorite apologist for right-wing dictators, must have felt right at home chatting with the Material Girl. Madonna, not unlike Rose McGowan, is a sort of brutal tyrant about her image. Refusing to stretch her acting chops, Madonna demands to be portrayed as the ultimate sexpot (Or, in the case of the laughable "Evita," the ultimate sexpot dictator). All of these films, we must say (same goes with McGowan), have been bombs or bombish. They only exist to feed an already freakishly over sized ego. The only film Madonna ever made that was critically acclaimed and rewarded at the box office was "A League of Their Own," where -- dare we say this? -- Madonna was decidedly un-glam and, we cannot fail to note, a fine actress relying on substance instead of surface. Read between the lines, dear. In acting: Ego = Bad; Humility = Good.

Well, no more. Instead of stretching and lending her boldface name to some well-written but unpromotable indie film, Madge is giving up her hobby to saunter into E. Graydon Carter's fabled "Seventh Room," with all the movie stars and heads of state sip the distilled blood of orphaned Third World babies and devour Endangered Species (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). She'll have to settle for the decidedly less classy Sixth Room, of people who have dined with Prince Charles and made erotic coffee table books in which they have simulated sex with Big Daddy Kane. (Averted Gaze). From Cindy Adams:

"Speaking of disadvantages, Madonna's finished making films. She says: 'What can survive people saying it'll be a bomb as soon as it's announced? Why keep doing that knowing I'll get the s - - - kicked out of me?'"

RIP, Madonna's Acting Career (In the cemetery plot adjacent to her largely irrelevant recording career).