Lapo Elkann: "If (Johnny Depp) wants to come to the Mediterranean, we actually would love to invite him for a Cruise



Hello, Luscious! (image via malvesite)

Lapo Elkann cut a wide swath through the hoi-polloi of New York a few weeks ago, who seemed mostly concerned with his lineage and not his considerable wit. The whole-rich-kid-with-a-dark-past is kind of tired, yes, but fucking "Lapo" -- if only for that ass-clown name of his -- is one amusing fuck, if you go in for that sort of thing. He's no Nat Rochtschild, to be sure. But a life as the boozy but pretty Euro, slaughtering the English language is interesting. A this blog is all about wit, and internationalism, and Power -- so "Lapo," as incongruous as he is, fits in nicely with Our Program. From the salmon-colored weekly:

"'For me a cappuccino,' said Lapo Elkann, flicking two fingers in the air. He had burst through the doors of the diner, introduced himself and his companion, taken a seat and placed the order faster than you could say 'Testarossa.'

"The New York–born heir to the Fiat fortune—known alternatively as the Prince William of Italy or the playboy who overdosed in a transsexual prostitute’s apartment in Turin two years ago—moves fast.

"Grandson of the original Italian mack daddy Gianni Agnelli, Mr. Elkann, 29, tan and possessed of a leonine head of blond hair, takes style seriously. He wore a pinstriped royal blue Oxford unbuttoned down to the chest, rolled up to the elbows and tucked into a pair of dark blue slacks, sans belt. A silver chain with a bejeweled medallion in the shape of an anchor hung about his hairy chest; his bare feet nestled in a pair of black velvet slippers customized with skull and crossbones.

"'They’re funky, I like them,' he explained of the shoes. 'It’s like the pirates, you know? We are pirates, not of the Caribbeans, we are pirates of the Mediterranean. Johnny Depp is pirate of the Caribbeans. We are pirates of the Mediterranean. But if he wants to come to the Mediterranean, we actually would love to invite him for a cruise."

"Carribeans" indeed! One Corsair to another -- I'm sure you would, honey; but Johnny Depp's, uh, "territorial waters" are closely patrolled closely by Vanessa Paradis. (Observer)