Tuesday, November 08, 2005

DC Scavenger Hunt


Can you help us find Congressman Rahm Emmanuel's old ballet slippers? (image via nndb)

Whatever happened to Scavenger Hunts? Remember those? Inrepid and resourceful people gathered to liberate extremely difficult to find objects of curiosity for the sake of a good time. Copious quantities of fine wines and ales were imbibed. Being swashbuckling Corsairs, we long for those days. Herewith, The Corsair proposes a DC scavenger hunt, in celebration of election day. Here is the list of difficult to find items:

100 Points:
Robert Novak's soul

75 Points:
Sally Quinn's influence
Leon Wieseltier's Humility
Congressman Tom Tancredo's shame (An extra 25 points if you can find the well-past-expiration-date Jesse Jackson's as well)

65 Points:
Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison's integrity (An extra 35 if you can find Judith Miller's)
Congressman Rahm Emmanuel's old ballet slippers (An extra 50 points if you can find his Objectivity, while you're at it)
Senator Bill Frist's Effectiveness

50 Points:
Mort Kondracke's Charisma
A stretch of five minutes where Lawrence Kudlow doesn't mention a capital gains tax cut.
Governor Schwarzenegger's Principles

45 Points:
Either Senator Ted Kennedy or Congreeman Charles Rangel's old "Man Girdles"
Actual Evidence of Senator Rick Santorum's Intelligence
Creepy Justice Steven Breyer's Shut-The-Fuck-Up switch
A New Republic cover story favorable to African-Americans

35 Points:
Al Franken's Charm
Congressman John Conyers' Consciousness
Andrea Mitchell's Well-used Concealor Brush. (Very well-used)

25 Points:
A moment in time where Clarence Thomas ever disagreed with Antonin Scalia
Vice President Dick Cheney's Shame

15 Points:
George Stephanopoulos' Edge
Joe Klein's Anonymity
Cokie Roberts' Warmth

10 Points:
Don Imus' Humor

5 Points:
Kofi Annan's Relevance
John McLaughlin's Sense of Mortality

1 Point:
Richard Perle's Decency

1/2 Point:
Senator Chris Dodd's Gravitas.

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