Media Hors D'Oeuvres



*The Corsair swoons* (image via leninimposts)

No Helena Christensen at the DKNY? (The Corsair gives a look of unmitigated disgust) False Advertising! How fucking lame! We want "Danish pastry"! We want Danish Pastry! (PS: Sorry about that false report, gang)

To paraphrase crack-cocaine convicted ex-DC Mayor Marion Barry: Did the bitch done set Prince Albert up? This, from The Old Gray Lady: "Midway through the official yearlong mourning period for his father, just as the bachelor prince was trying to assimilate his new responsibilities and project the gravitas expected of him as a ruler, a former flight attendant announced with rather graphic detail in Paris-Match that she and Prince Albert had conceived a son, Alexandre, who was born two years ago. 'It was a very difficult moment for me,' he said with characteristic understatement, adding that he is still 'coming to terms' with the unintended fatherhood. When asked if he believed he was tricked into having a child, as the mother's account suggested, he was unflinching. 'Yes, I think I was set up,' he said." Damn. But did Albert need to say that in the august pages of The New York Times? (NYTimes)

Finally, 60 Minutes is back! Hurricane Katrina mercifully cut short the correspondent's endless summer in Martha's Vinyard. This Sunday, investigative journalist Ed Bradley talks to N'Orleans officer Edwin Compass on the policemen who abandoned their posts in the hour of the Wolf: 'I've called individuals who have shirked their responsibility and duty cowards. I wished I possessed a vocabulary large enough to find a word that depicts something worse than a coward,' he tells Bradley. 'Because when you look at the sacrifice the men and women of this police department made that stayed, not only did [the cowards] not stay, they talked to the media and criticized the brave men and women that were standing tall and standing strong. Not only were they cowards, they were less than cowards,' says Compass." (CBS 60Minutes)

Whither Turkish Identity? The most difficult question in international politics now is the question of Turkey, adrift, post-EU. The Old Gray Lady's Op Ed questions Turkish identity on the brink of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan's address to the United Nations' 60th Anniversary next week, saying, in part: "In February, a Swiss newspaper quoted Mr. Pamuk on Turkey's longstanding refusal to discuss the Armenian genocide and the deaths of some 30,000 separatist Kurds more recently. Mr. (Omar) Pamuk's remarks inflamed Turkish nationalists, and he left the country. He faces the possibility of three years in jail. The charges against Mr. Pamuk violate the standards of free speech, one of the prerequisites to Turkey's admission to the European Union." Does anyone really believe that Turkey is going to join the EU? Turkey borders Iran, and -- yes -- its inclusion in the EU would be a great help in the War on Terror, it won't happen. Kurdish autonomy in the new Iraqi constitution doesn't help matters, though (It creates an internal political instability among the Kurdish population of Turkey. What, with the Pope and the ultraright wing in Germany, Austria and France against it, Turkey, adrift, looks -- unfortunately -- ripe for a Muslim fundamentalist takeover as a result of this extreme rejection. Unless The West wakes up -- fast! (NYTimes)

Liz Smith, lasciviously, on JLo: "Miss Lopez, a grand star of the old school, has occasionally thrown fur over those creamy shoulders ... As for Jennifer Lopez, I found her quite fine -- realistic, earthy and low-key ... I have always thought Lopez has an appealing presence on-screen. My one cavil is that I could not stop thinking the actress looked awfully good ... Her skin is luminous, her hair shiny and soft. It's not that she looks ... glamorous, just a bit distracting." Okay, Liz, sweetie, you can put your tongue back in your mouth.

The Whitney Houston-Bobby Brown Top 20 Quotes Page. Our fave, Whitney says: "Could you do me something for a appetizer? I would like gorgonzal. Do you have gorgonzal cheese? With pears. That's very Italian." So damn Brilliant. (FourFour)



His hair ... it speaks to us of ... masculine virility. (image via ftd.de)

Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, held onto his solid lead on the eve of Japan's election, has: The Best. Political Hair. Ever. (Reuters)

This, from the House of Rupert Murdoch: "Mr. Murdoch has said he is willing to spend up to $2 billion on Internet acquisitions, and in addition to IGN has recently acquired Intermix Media, the parent of the popular social networking site MySpace.com, for $580 million and Scout Media, a sports site, for $60 million. This weekend, Mr. Murdoch is holding an Internet meeting for his top managers from around the world near his ranch in Carmel, Calif., where he is expected to discuss the progress the company has made since a similar gathering in February." (NYTimes)

Menswear designer John Bartlett to under-the-radar luxe company, Ghurka: "Details of the contract were not disclosed, though (Abe) Chehebar said that the alliance is a long-term strategic alliance with multiple renewal options based on performance. Bartlett starts at the end of the month." (WWD)

Former "It" Girl and Vincent Gallo Beejer Chloe Sevigny skips the Imitation of Christ Fashion Show. WTF?! Existence is meaningless. (Observer Daily Transom)

This, from the AP, "In recent years, designer Kenneth Cole has opened his runway show at New York Fashion Week with a short video featuring an A-list star who pokes fun at fashion while highlighting social causes ... The video presented at the Bryant Park tents Friday at the start of Fashion Week showed Whoopi Goldberg being arrested by Fashion Victim Unit police for her many fashion infractions." Good policework; now that she's apprehended and in custody, book her on a felony count of intellectual pollution for The New Hollywood Squares. (Mercury News)

Russia and China, as predicted by The Corsair, back "the awkward nations" (AKA, the unwieldly bunch: India, Pakistan, Egypt, Algeria, Cuba, Venezuela and Iran) against UN reform, confounding Bolton. The Corsair told you so. (FT)

Other Fashion Week News: Frosty Vogue editrix Anna Wintour actually cracks a smile: "Kenneth enlisted Whoopi Goldberg to star in his traditional pre show mini film, and the comedian was perfectly cast as a convicted fashion victim who was having the book thrown at her. Of course, the book in question was not just any book, but the hefty phone book sized issue of September Vogue, and Vogue was alluded to several times throughout the opening segment. This appeared to delight Anna Wintour, who you could see smiling beneath her trademark oversized shades as she sat front row center flanked by Virginia Smith and Sally Singer." Not since Anna was "flanked" by Bob Marley's manhood has she been so delighted (No doubt this makes up for taking a spill at the US Open). (Marilyn Kirschner)

And, on Fashion Rocks: "'I loved her moves,' (Tinsley) Mortimer enthused of Shakira's jaw-dropping shakes and grinds. 'I want to go home and practice that shake in front of a mirror.'" Tinsley, of course, will have to borrow a "stunt ass" to get the realistic "Arroz-Con-Pollo" effect. (FashionweekDaily)