The Cultural Contradictions of Capitalism, Circa 2005



(image via dmh.de)


William F. Buckley, Jr. often wondered aloud about Daniel Bell's "cultural contradictions" of a society rewarding some godawful rock musician many times more pay than, say, harpsichordist Rosalyn Turek, or even eccentric Bachophile Glenn Gould. In the end, he -- like us -- essentially relegated those institutional quirks as an unsavory apect of an essentially efficient social system that generates wealth and growth to the largest number of people.

New York Magazine (link via gawker) ... understands the blogosphere like no other magazine, perhaps ever. Not only, my dear reader, does it occasionally employ the more prominent bloggers -- ahem -- on a freelance basis (Arched eyebrow; Imperious gaze and haughty sniff), but they truly understand the nature of the oxygen that wholly sustains our gossamer blogopshere -- namely, stone-cold fucking envy.

Consider, if you will, the Envy that brought the "unqualified" Dan Rather so low (A considerable pause). We can hardly think of a story idea, in all honesty, more blog-friendly (aka, an invitation to ressentiment), more apt to, say, be virally transmitted online than publishing the *alleged* salaries of the Masters of the Universe and leaving us, jaws gaping, asses-dragging, to stew in our own comparatively impoverished juices ...

Of course, we have some questions, cavils and other ear-splitting questions for YWEH about deliverance, the striking-down-our-Earthy-Masters, and the perceieved injustices of Capitalism; such as:

-- Is it "Philosophically Just" that WABC TV weatherman Sam Champion is paid the same alleged amount -- $1.5 fucking million -- as Jon Stewart, the socially indispensible host of The Daily Show? Dear Lord, maketh us to understand why this is so?

--Is a society that pays Sarah Jessica Parker $38 million, and part time Kim's Video clerk, David Schmidt $8,736, not at the top of the line to be "Smote" by the Judeo-Christian god?

Is a nation that rewards Philippe de Montebello -- the voice that launched a thousand accoustagraphs -- the CEO of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, roughly 1/19th the salary of the loathesome Billy Crystal on an accelerated cycle to Decline and Fall?

--Is it fair, O Mighty and Just Lord, that fraudulent pseudo-artist John Currin made $3 million, and WFAN hosts Mike and the Mad Dog (Averted Gaze) made $2.7 million, when Gregory Burke, Private first class, United States Army, presently stationed in Iraq, earned: $18,444? May thy Kingdom Come!

--And, Is rapper 50 Cent, dear Lord Jehovah, Host of Armies, Holy of Holies, worth lavishing 50 times more financial reward than Your Tireless Servant, Jazz preservationist and composer, Wynton Marsalis?

-- Ought, King of Armies, Lord of History, "Flower," a Cocaine dealer on the Lower East Side -- Mirabile dictu, BTW: $275 per one-eighth ounce -- (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detchment) to earn $150,00o a year, when one Stanley Teitel, the Principal of Stuyvesant High School, earns just $120,000?

-- Finally, worst of all, Redeemer Lord, Breaker of Empires, Russell Simmons, Founder, Phat Farm earned $119 million while Les Moonves, co-COO, Viacom made a paltry $52 million in comparisn! Well, maybe there is some justice there, though we don't see it upfront.