The Passion of the Condi

A Harlot Washes Condi's Feet

Dennis Miller recognized Condi as the embodiment of neoconservative virtu, and with tears equal to his past deeds, he besaught Condi with weeping. Spraying hot tears, the comedian mingled petrol with his moist weeping on her most pure feet and wiped it away with his salt and pepper speckled beard.

"Do not despise my tears. Do not reject me as a liberal."

The Last Supper

On the night before she was betrayed, Condi took The Yellow Cake, gave thanks and praise, gave it to the neoconservatives and said, "Take this Yellow Cake and eat of it, receive the Yellow Cake with pure souls."

And when the supper was over, she took a cup filled with petrol, gave it to the neoconservatives and said, "Drink this petrol and be confirmed in our right wing faith."

Afterwards she took her two closest neoconservative disciples Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz with her to the Washington Monument.

The Trial

Condi, according to custom, passed through DC, the capitol of the Imperium; accompanied by her neoconservative disciples, went to the Washington Monument, and sat down on the ground. The neoconservatives were sleeping near her, when all at once an armed troop appeared bearing ACLU membership cards appeared. They were supported by a detatchment of UN Peacekeepers. Richard Clarke, knowing the habits of Condi, had indicated this place as one where she might be most easily surprised; earlier he had dipped his hands with her into a dish of petrol. And, also according to custom, he betrayed her with a kiss for pieces of silver provided for by Simon and Schuster.

The plan of the liberals was to trap Condi, by the testimony of witnesses and by her own words. It was before the powerful personage of Pontius Keane that Condi was braught.

Condi's neoconservative disciples Perle and Wolfowitz followed their Mistress to the dwelling of the 911 Commission. Perle stopped in the antichamberand was soon recognized by Senate paiges as a disciple of Condi, the accused. Perle denied thrice that he had ever the least connection with Condi. But his better nature soon revealed to him the fault he had committed. Touched to the bottom of his black heart, Richard Perle wept bitterly.

On the reading of the incriminating charge, Condi remained silent for she had resolved to endure all things so that she may save American petrol interests: Condi Rice: Lover of Oil

Politically Left For Dead

O Lamb of the Right, political death is blind to your splendor, Condi.

The Resurrection

After being pilloried by the media in Friday's papers, Condi will rise again on the third day in glory succeding Jack Valenti as President of the MPAA. She who suffered for American petrol interests has risen, in glory, to Hollywood, to judge the G, PG, PG-13 or R, depending upon their merits and their good works. And her kingdom will have no end, until, of course, she decides to retire (Valenti held his post, like an African dictator, for 38 years)

Beyond Politics

"So then Condi Rice, after she had spoken to the neoconservatives, was taken up into Hollywood, and sat down at the right hand of Tom Cruise. Condi's body was glorified at the moment of her Resurrection, as proved by the new and supernatural properties it subsequently and permanently enjoys. But during the forty days when she eats yellow cake and drinks petrol, familiarly with herisciples and teaches them about Hollywood, mystery remains veiled under the appearance of ordinary humanity. Condy's final apparition ends with the irreversible entry of his humanity into divine glory, symbolized by the cloud and by heaven, where she is seated from that time forward at Tom Cruise's right hand. Only in a wholly exceptional and unique way would Condi show herself to Dennis Miller "as to one untimely born", in a last apparition that established him as a neoconservative.

(ed Note: no blog tommorrow due to work deadlines. sorry)