Monday, April 19, 2004

Keifer Sutherland "Heartbreaking" Drunk?

That significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer reports that the man who would be Mr. Julia Roberts -- but wasn't (a stripper named Raven in Vancouver, don't ask)-- Kiefer Sutherland spends lots of time knocking down scotch. At all hours. Not 24 Hours, but:

"'Kiefer's been a big drinker but now he's pounding down the alcohol morning, noon and night,' an insider (told The Enquirer)"

"Kiefer Sutherland, star of TV's 24 ... was caught knocking back Scotch at a Hollywood gay bar at 9 o'clock in the morning!

"And another source said: "Kiefer is well-known at dives in the scary Hollywood area where he lives.

"It's not unusual to see him downing glass after glass of J&B Scotch at one of these places any night of the week.

"And when they close at 2 a.m., then it's on to the after hours clubs."

"The ENQUIRER reported in March that the 37-year-old star got a gash on his head in a bar fight.

"And now The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively that on the morning of April 3, Kiefer was drinking at the Spot Light."

The Corsair cannot fail to note that describes The Spotlight thusly,:

"If you ever wondered where all the freaky trannies went during Hollywood's gentrification, this is the answer.

"The Spotlight is a dive and proud of it. This is where the flavorful underbelly of Hollywood gay life washes up. It's clear that most of the patrons have 'history'--we don;t ask and don't tell--but who knew the place had history, too? It's the city's second oldest gay bar (the oldest is the Friendship in Santa Monica), open since 1963."

It should be noted that it opens really, really early, which may or may not be factored into your conclusions. Do you suppose a silent-but deadly Keifer Sutherland scotch-fart could clear a room?

The Enquirer continues:

"'Kiefer was falling-down drunk,' said an eyewitness.

"He wasn't surly or anything -- just the opposite, he seemed very happy and was obviously feeling no pain.

"There was a movie shooting across the street when Kiefer came out of the Spot Light for a cigarette. Several of the crew members on the shoot recognized him and came over to have their photos taken with him.

"He was very obliging to everyone, including the female security guard on the movie and one young mom who came over with her toddler in a stroller to get his autograph.

"But Kiefer reeked of alcohol and was unsteady on his feet.

"Finally he excused himself, saying he had to go back into the bar to sit down. 'It was so sad seeing him that way.'

And it goes on:

"A staffer at the Spot Light who was on duty that morning told The ENQUIRER: 'Kiefer started drinking at 9 o'clock in the morning with some buddies and didn't stop till after 1:30 p.m.

"'At one point, he was so hammered that he fell off his barstool and landed on the floor. But he just laughed it off.

"'He was drinking Scotch and his associates actually had to prop him up!

"'Some girl pulled down her pants and showed her butt to him and he said in slurring speech, I'll show you something.

Italics mine:

"'Then he pulled down his pants and exposed his butt to her and everyone else in the bar!'

"The eyewitness added: 'When Kiefer stumbled out of the bar, there were a bunch of cops hanging around the film shoot across the street. He laughed and said, Don't mind me, officers -- and just staggered away.

"'It was funny and heartbreaking at the same time.'"

The story is reported by Michael Glynn and Rick Egusquiza of National Enquirer. Get it wireless here.

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