Gawker Stalkers

The gawker stalker reports are some of the funniest (and potentially "actionable") parts of the whole gawker mystique. I love them. Heres one of the funniest gawker stalker reports I have read (today):

"I saw Julianne Moore Saturday, April 3rd, at Citarella, on 6th avenue and 9th street. She was shopping with an old assistant/older relative type. She was very friendly to the cashiers�I guess she shops there often. Was very petite but otherwise just like in the movies: red hair, barely any makeup, and a long green coat that went well with her hair. Naturally, I stalked her for a couple of blocks, but she knew she was being followed and thus started walking around in circle, giving me dirty looks. It worked�she scared me off."

Can you imagine this scene playing out on the mean streets of New York? The tip off of this "character" is that they notice Moore's hair and makeup and how the coat goes well with the hair. Too much information. (*uncontrollably shudders*) I couldn't tell you what color socks I have on today, and bigman here is all in Moore's grill remembrancing of wardrobe's past.

And, naturally he followed her for a couple of blocks. Naturally. This is not New York behavior, cornbread, this is the musky sort of fun of the tweaker high on meth. Poor petite Julianne Moore: not only has Oscar been unkind to her, she has this freak causing her to walk in circles. Can someone get Homeland Secutrity on this clearly deranged man's ass? Choire, my friend in the blog, you need to send his email to the proper authorities.