David Gave the Seed

In the May 2004 Interview Magazine, JT Leroy comes to the window of Melissa Etheridge.

JT Leroy: Do your kids know that David Crosby is their biological father?

Melissa Etheridge: Yeah, they do. He's never been any kind of parent to my kids -- they see him maybe once or twice a year. But they know that it was David who gave the seed that allowed them to be born; that is all. It was a gift from him and his wife.

Hmmm. And what a meaningful gift. Bummer, though, to be a 5 year old and a 7 year old finding out that that David Crosby gave the seed that allowed you to be born.

Imagine how "the talk" played itself out:

Melissa: Kids, do you know that your biological father was a famous musician?

Bailey: Is it Sting, Mama, he's so socially conscious.

Beckett: Is it Billy Joel, Mama, he's such a dreamer.

Melissa: Uh, no ... it's ...

Beckett: Is it Mick Jagger, Mama? he's like a force of nature.

Bailey: Is it Elton John, Mama? He's so romantic.

Melissa: Uhm, did I say famous? I meant, sorta famous.

(uncomfortable silence)

Bailey: Well, Jackson Brown would be okay, I suppose. Is it him Mama?

Beckett: Phil Collins wouldn't be too much of a let down. Say it's him, Mama; you're scaring us.

Melissa: (fake smile) no, kids, David Crosby!

(uncomfortable silence)

Bailey: Mama's making a funny.

Beckett: Oh, ha-ha-ha, Mama, ha-ha, you're so funny.

Melissa: No, kids, (seriously) David gave the seed that allowed you to be born.

(kids turn to one another)

Together: EEeeeeewwwww