A Little of the Old In and Out

DC-Hollywood-NYC Edition

In: Dick Morris. Say what you will about our favorite brandy swilling francophile "john", but Dick makes acute political observations. Today he writes in his column:

"If the president is not careful, he will discredit his administration and the Republican Party for a decade by insisting on staying in Iraq long after the regime he opposed is toppled, despite casualties, in a frustrating and elusive search for peace and stability in a nation that has never known either. It is only Bush�s obsession with Iraq that could elect Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) president."

I don't know if Morris has backdoor access (so to speak) into the Bush White House -- I doubt it, but anything is possible for the man who worked simultaneously for Trent Lott and Bill Clinton. Machiavelli comes to mind. Bush ought to read Morris' column thoroughly before giving his speech tonight. There is wisdom (and an acute reading of polls and the mood of the people) therein.

Out: Barbara Walters. Tacky. Very, very tacky. Geraldo may think she's a dame with a great rack and a set of legs like sticks of dynamite, but The Corsair is unimpressed (Also, that's Geraldo, he thinks Minnie Mouse is hot) . As if it weren't bad enough that Babs introduced into the Art of the Interview game the shameless question, "If you were a tree, what tree would you be?" Now Lloyd Grove gives us a peek inside her palatial Fifth Avenue apartment to find that the tackiness is neverending:

"Suitors called on the 72-year-old Walters at her palatial Fifth Ave. apartment, where she led them on a tour and showed off her 'power wall,' featuring snapshots of herself and virtually every important person on the planet."

A wall of power? EEEwwwww. If she were a tree, what tree would she be? A punk ass birch.

MIXED: P Diddy. Honorary African-American Michael Musto gives us some scoop on P Diddy's Raisin in the Sun advance buzz:

"I don't know if Sean Combs is going down or not, but I hear that the Raisin in the Sun audience guffaws when his character is excited to get a $10,000 check. The real Diddy is so much less oppressed that Ralph Carter, from the original production of Raisin (the musical version), bitterly told Barry Z, 'If I was Sean, I could buy me a show too!'"

In: We love David Patrick Columbia's New York Social Diary. Sure, it is whiter than Jenna Bush's legs (thanks Wonkette), but then, so is the Upper East Side. He has some incredible pictures of ultragorgeous model Larisa Bond's birthday party, and some comments:

"Very 60s this moment. Master Event designer Remco created a 007 fantasytheme � la Goldfinger, with rooms of red and gold. Guests played with gold squirt guns filled with Veuve Clicquot causing a certain movie star of Gilligan�s Island fame (hint hint) to get up and leave ' I�ve been squirted too many times,' she stated (understandably) impatiently. Why does that sound like so much spam?"

"Remco"? That "movie star" -- ahem -- would be Tina Louise, of the awful plastic surgery.

Out: Sofia Blanc de Blancs. I have a thing about Sofia Coppola. Sure, she wore flats, and she hunches a bit: wouldn't you be if you were universally blasted in your first acting role as sinking the franchise of the greatest guy movie of all time? Maybe it's because she is as fanatic about Bill Murray as I am (rumor is that she became melancholy waiting for Murray to accept the Lost in Translation role)? I don't know. She has that arty look that I dig, so maybe that goes into the mix as well. But to name a wine after oneself. No, baby, that's just plain wrong. Apparently -- I kid you not -- there are cans of wine called "Sofia Mini's." I'd love to make a comment geometrically balanced with just the right amount of wit and saucy humor about the Sophia mini's, but that would be too easy and I'd end up disappointing you.

In: The AP reports that Supermodel Carmen Kass is running for a seat in the European Union parliament under a pro-business party:

"The blonde, blue-eyed Kass - heralded here as one of the best-known and richest Estonians in the world - has brushed aside criticism that she's a neophyte with no political experience and not qualified for public office.

"In an interview earlier this year she said she could help raise Estonia's profile by serving in the European Parliament.

"'I'm entering politics because, for the past 10 years, I've gotten a lot from the world,' she said. 'And everything I've gotten, I've gotten from Estonia. I want to give something back to Estonia.'"

That's right Carmen, give back to the community.

Out: Vivika Fox. Spread-eagle on the cover of Smooth. Damn. Couldn't get that Jet centerfold, huh sister?

In: Old Hag. Give us ye olde haggis anyday.

Out: Grover Norquist. Uber sleaze. This man is evil. John Kerry has got to bring his name up and shine light on Norquist, who, often, has been known to hide beneath rocks in Washington. Here is John Loftus on Olbermann:

"LOFTUS: Well, you know, it�s a funny story. About a year-and-a-half ago, people in the intelligence community came and said-guys like Alamoudi and Sami al-Arian and other terrorists weren�t being touched because they�d been ordered not to investigate the cases, not to prosecute them, because there were being funded by the Saudis and a political decision was being made at the highest levels, don�t do anything that would embarrass the Saudi government. So, of course I immediately volunteered to do it and I filed a lawsuit, against al-Arian charging him with being a major terrorist for Islamic Jihad, most of his money came from Saudi charities in Virginia.

"Now, Alamoudi�s headquarters were in the same place, he was raided the same day, on March 20. An hour after I filed my lawsuit, the U.S. government finally got off its butt and they raided these offices. And, the stuff that they�re taking out of there now is absolutely horrendous. Al-Arian has now, finally been indicted, an along with Alamoudi, today.

"But, who was it that fixed the cases? How could these guys operate for more than a decade immune from prosecution? And, the answer is coming out in a very strange place. What Alamoudi and al-Arian have in common is a guy named Grover Norquist. He�s the super lobbyist. Newt Gingrich�s guy, the one the NRA calls on, head of American taxpayers. He is the guy that was hired by Alamoudi to head up the Islamic institute and he�s the registered agent for Alamoudi, personally, and for the Islamic Institute.

"Grover Norquist�s best friend is Karl Rove, the White House chief of staff, and apparently Norquist was able to fix things. He got extreme right wing Muslim people to be the gatekeepers in the White House. That�s why moderate Americans couldn�t speak out after 9/11. Moderate Muslims couldn�t get into the White House because Norquist�s friends were blocking their access."

Draw your own conclusions.

In: POV, the innovative PBS documentary series.

Out: Don't kill the cgef, he's only trying his best. Ananova gives us scoop on Johnny Depp:

"Hollywood Reporter says (Johnny) Depp grabbed an old blade from a wall and joked he would kill the cook for making fantastic sticky toffee pudding.

"It quoted a member of staff as saying: 'Depp's always in our upstairs bar with different people having a laugh. He was drinking with Samantha Morton, Johnny Vegas and some off-duty staff.

"At about two in the morning they'd finished off two bottles of port and 14 bottles of wine between five of them.

"Then Johnny got this look in his eye and started yelling that he had to kill the chef for making such amazing sticky toffee pudding and custard. He had it for three days on the trot and says it's the most delicious thing he's ever eaten."

"Depp is currently in England for filming on The Libertine."

Looks like Johnny is the libertine.