A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Gerardo. "I'm used to good old fashioned homestyle Spanish cooking/ If I try that I'll be puking." Just so you know, we like Rico Suave, o snarky editors at Blender Magazine (shakes fist impotently at computer screen)

Out: This Gene Simmons quote in the May 2004 Details Magazine profoundly disturbs me. "If I ever go to jail, I want Lenny (Kravitz) there with me. He's pretty. He'd be very popular in jail." (shivers)

In: Lindsayism. Our favorite Comedy Central employee posts emails she solicited regarding sex related "high ideas,"or ideas that come to one when one is in an altered, somewhat pharmaceutical state. Here's one:

" ... It'd be cool if there was a pill you could take before sex that would allow you to read your partner's thoughts. Of course, it would ruin the mood when you realize that I'm doing a mental panel-by-panel reconstruction of the Spider-Man series, 'Return of The Sinister Six.' And by the way, after while we're cuddling and you're plotting out the trajectory of our hypothetical romance (2.5 kids, vacations at the Cape, Christmas with your parents, his & hers matching gravestones), I'm working on the follow-up, 'Revenge
of the Sinister Six.'"

Out: As previously mentioned, or at least hinted at, Blender Magazine has listed the 50 Worst Songs Ever. Rocking in at number one is Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City on Rock and Roll."

In: Chesty UK model Jordan, famous for being famous, has excepts from her new bio Being Jordan in OK! Magazine, reports Ananova. Here's a sample:

"Jordan said: 'I didn't feel starstruck by Victoria but I must admit to feeling a bit of a thrill around David. He is so good-looking, has such a fit body and is so nice with it.

"One night in July, after Dane and Victoria had performed their single at Party in the Park, the four of us went clubbing to Twice as Nice so Victoria could look credible on the R 'n' B scene.

"Dane was DJing and I was standing with the famous couple. Suddenly I felt someone take my hand and squeeze it gently as it to reassure me that I shouldn't be overawed by all the hype.

"It was David. I looked at him in surprise and he was looking right back at me. Imagine how you would feel if David Beckham held your hand!

"Victoria was standing right next to him, so I thought I'd better keep my mouth shut. She is so incredibly possessive that if women so much as say they fancy David she goes mad.

"I would have given anything for her to disappear at that moment and leave me alone with one of the world's sexiest men.

"But I guess I'll never really know what David was thinking. Maybe he was showing that he understood what it was like to be caught up in Dane and Victoria's desperate bid to get to number one ..."

Out: Jude Law's ex Sadie Frost. The woman is frosty. Has anyone ever seen a picture of this woman smiling? Apparently, she was recently observed banging on Jude Law's door demanding to speak to him, according to The Mirror:

" ... We hear it was the mother of all bust-ups between the former darlings of the Britpack scene.

"Apparently, Sadie - who lives just round the corner - turned up very late at night with her current squeeze, Jackson Scott, in tow.

"The 37-year-old mother-of-four started banging on the door demanding Jude let her in, saying there were, 'Things she needed to discuss with him.'

"But 31-year-old Jude was having none of it. The furious Cold Mountain star refused to let his ex-missus in because she was in such a 'state,' which made Sadie even more angry."

Damn ... we can relate to Jude all of a sudden. Don't you feel human compassion for this man? Having his shit all out in public like this. Evil bloggers like me all up in his business. Scandalous.

"Our spy reveals: 'It was one of the ugliest arguments they've had for ages.

"'Sadie feels very embarrassed by the whole thing, but as far as she is concerned it wouldn't have ever happened if Jude had let her in.

"'She was screaming and shouting at him and even Jackson was chipping in.'"

Damn. Even Jackson had to speak his mind:

"Sadie hates the fact that she was washing her dirty laundry in public. She was well aware of the curtains twitching - at one point she even thought someone had started taking pictures of the confrontation. If they do exist she's desperate for them not to come out."

Hey, Sadie, if you hate it so much, pop a prozac and stop doing what you're doing. There. I said out loud what we all were thinking.

In: Jennifer Garner. We predicted the ascent of the anti-Christ about a month ago. Should 13 Going on 30 hit number one at the box office this weekend, then the rise to power will be complete: Jennifer Garner will overtake Julia Roberts as the Hollywood "It" Girl. And that significant cultural artifact The Star Magazine has a nifty little item regarding that:

"With the buzz surrounding the release of her new romantic comedy 13 Going On 30, Jennifer Garner, 32, is Tinseltown's new 'It' girl. Her hilarious turn as a young teen who wakes up to find herself in her 30s has Hollywood calling her the next Julia Roberts. But sources say one person doesn't appreciate the comparison: Julia herself.

"'When reviews started coming in for Jennifer's movie, people were saying she was the new Pretty Woman, and Julia wasn't happy about it,' says a source close to Roberts."

The Corsair whispers, " ... catfight ... catfight ..."

" ... Garner's career is hot. Not only is she filming more Alias episodes, but she's gearing up for her star turn in Elektra, the spin-off of the successful Daredevil movie, which grossed over $100 million. Her other films, Catch Me If You Can and Pearl Harbor, fared equally well.

"Julia's recent roles haven't been noteworthy. Reports indicate that Mona Lisa Smile made only $63 million in the US (though Roberts took home $25 million for her salary). Her other recent films, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Full Frontal barely made a blip on the radar.

"Days before Mona Lisa Smile was released, Roberts told a crowd of journalists, 'Because I've had lots of great career opportunities and I've built on them over a long period of time, the kind of attention I give to my career can be very sporadic. And of my choosing.'"

Love Jennifer Garner or hate her (and The Corsair loves her dimpled sweetness), she is hungry for the heights of fame. I have never seen a celebrity stake out the top spot like she did, prowling around it, staring at the perch with haunted eyes, the CIA site, the courting of the geeks at the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Science Scientific and Technical Awards, Alias, Electra, now this. Damn, she's hungrier than Tom Cruise on his way up.

Out: Senator Arlen Spector. Everyone hates this fucker. Conservatives, because he is mild. God, how conservatives hate Spector, it is an awesome sight. Liberals hate him because he is one mean motherfucker, screaming at his twentysomething aides. According to the Hill's Peter Savodnik and Geoff Earle:

"Conservative activists backing Rep. Pat Toomey�s Senate bid are voicing doubts that the congressman has enough money or shock troops to counter the statewide, multimedia campaign being waged by Sen. Arlen Specter in Pennsylvania�s Republican primary.

"While a recent Quinnipiac University poll put Toomey within five points of Specter � marking a significant tightening of the race � the activists said the conservative House member from Allentown needs to do a better job mobilizing his base."

So, Specter wins, but in the end, he loses.