A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Diana Ross won't have to serve more time in the slammer. The AP writes, "On Monday, a city judge rescinded his order calling for the 60-year-old singer to return to Tucson to serve 48 consecutive hours in the Pima County Jail.

"Ross, who pleaded no contest in February to a drunken-driving charge, arranged to serve her jail sentence in Greenwich, where she lives.

"But based on an account from Greenwich police, Tucson City Court Magistrate T. Jay Cranshaw found that she failed to serve 24 consecutive hours as required by Arizona law."

"Ross spent 22 1/2 hours at the Greenwich jail between Feb. 9 and Feb. 10 before being released because there was no female guard on duty for the remaining 1 1/2 hours."

Altogether, Ms. Ross spent 44 hours in jail over a three day stretch. Harrowing. Mahogany got to meet her public up close and live. At some point during the stint, the song "I Want Muscles," must have gone through her wonderfully processed head.

Personally I prefer to think of her in the proto 70s freedom kaleidescope Mahogany. I ask you, Diana:

"Do you know where you�re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?"

Out: Oprah versus Howard. This is a war Howard Stern is going to lose, and lose badly. I don't quite know why he is being such a pussy in taking on the government. Maybe it is his ABC gig that he's worried about. He should be holding rallies at the White House, for God sakes, instead, he is taking on Oprah.

That significant cultural artifact Star Magazine writes:

"Author Larry Sloman, who collaborated with Stern on his book Private Parts, tells Star: 'Howard's show is tame compared to some of the graphic discussions on Oprah. But the FCC doesn't have the guts to take on a black woman who has single-mindedly willed herself an all-American icon.' His frustration with the FCC at an all-time high, Stern has threatened to quit radio all-together, or move to satellite radio, which the FCC doesn't regulate.

"But Oprah's racy segments haven't gone altogether unnoticed. An FCC official, who asked to remain anonymous, tells Star that the government agency has received "a number of complaints" about Oprah's show in recent weeks.

" ... One of Oprah's former colleagues adds, 'When was the last time Howard did anything good for anybody? Oprah is always doing good things for people.'"

I guess breast implants and sex with whores for losers doesn't count as good things?

In: Guadeloupe Lopez hits the jackpot. As if she needed the infusion of cheddar, JLo's mom, Guadeloupe, hit a $2.4 million payout. Guadeloupe is the mom of multimillionaire diva JLo and successful entertainment correspondent Linda Lopez:

"'It was divine intervention,' Guadalupe Lopez declared after her $3 investment generated a more than 800,000-fold dividend.

"'I have a great devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe ... and had just looked up at the $2 million and said a little prayer to her when I hit the jackpot. Our Lady really looks out for me,' she told the slot machine owners, who issued a press release touting the 'anonymous' winner.

"Borgata sources and J.Lo's camp confirmed the winner was Jenny From the Block's mom."

I'll bet this blog that she is a Sagittarius. I've been aound the block a bit, and nothing fails to amaze me that Sagittarian luck hitting. It's uncanny.

Apparently, Guadeloupe had only been playing for about 10 minutes when the three 'Wheel of Fortune' symbols popped up. The Lopez family is definitely the friend of the wheel of fortune.

But, wait a second ... didn't People Magazine report that she broke off her engagement
to Affleck because she didn't care for his partying and gambling?

Out: Iris Palmer, the eccentric british model and trapeeze artist is out of the fashion biz. As the British Vogue (via the Sunday Telegraph) writes:

"IRIS PALMER may have given up her dreams of becoming a trapeze artist to re-enter the modelling world, but it appears she's already regretting the decision. Iris, daughter of Sir Mark Palmer, claims she is already bored and now plans to turn her hand to painting. 'I hate this industry, I really do,' the eccentric English beauty told The Sunday Telegraph. 'I'm not interested in clothes and the people are all so boring. At the moment I'm only modelling to make money on the side. I hope I won't be doing it for much longer.' Her distaste for the fashion industry was openly on display at the launch of the Vivienne Westwood retrospective at the V&A last week, where she couldn't wait to leave. 'It is simply too full of pretentious people being pretentious to each other," she told reporters as she beat a hasty exit. "It's really not my kind of thing at all.'"

In: Kathleen Turner. Who knew? Michael Musto gives us the dish,"BILL MURRAY ... stepping up to the podium to crack that he was thrilled to be part of 'the Sofia Coppola lifetime achievement award.' Pointing out KATHLEEN TURNER in the crowd, he then interjected,
'Now she plays homely wenches, but she's obviously an incredibly hot fuck. She must be, right?'" I always agree with Bill.

Out: Ed Burns. Variety reports(subscription required):

"The Tribeca Film Festival has announced a lineup of 65 features for its Spotlight, Showcase, Restored & Rediscovered and Midnight sections, with premieres including Ed Burns' latest, 'Looking for Kitty'; David Duchovny's directing debut, 'House of D'; and John Walter's humorous docu-tribute 'In Search of Ted Demme.'"

Okay: question: has Ed Burns ever had a hit film? Why does he get to marry Chrystie Turlington (shakes his fist at computer screen jealously) and make movies! Why!

In: Frank DiGiacomo is leaving the Observer for Vanity Fair. Our Lizzie Spiers, that dark haired hottie, says, "Alternate headline: "Observer Staffers Dissatisfied: Little Gold Foil Stars No Longer Considered Adequate Compensation Package."

"The Observer's Frank DiGiacomo, feature writer and Transom column editor, is leaving for Vanity Fair, where (presumably) he will be paid actual money."