Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Passion of the Bruckheimer

Brucky gets Lucky! (image via

The nutritional emptiness of "The Amazing Race" notwithstanding, Jerry Bruckheimer is, as the Italians say: Abbondanza! He's just the mostest: Outsized ambitions combined with a overloud, soul-killing soundtracks. Gigantic are his melancholies. No one commits acts of intellectual pollution with as much verve and dash as Our Man Brucky.

You do your thing, Brucky, you ... fo your thing ... (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

It is not enough that "The Bruckheimer (tm)" has conquered Hollywood (Producer, Pirates of the Carribbean), mounting the left coast with nary a splash of lubricant or "ointment"(Averted Gaze). Jerry had to descend from the Heights of Olympus to make the television medium his sweet bitch as well (For further reference see CBS' CSI Franchise) From Variety:

"Jerry Bruckheimer is embarking on a new race for long-lost treasure, this time at CBS.
Eye has handed out a put pilot commitment to Bruckheimer, who is teaming with "Sleeper Cell" creators Cyrus Voris and Ethan Reiff on an one-hour adventure drama. Untitled project will revolve around a globetrotting team of freelance treasure hunters, led by an ex-Navy SEAL turned archaeologist.

"Potential skein encompasses genres Bruckheimer, the producer of both 'National Treasure' and 'The Amazing Race,' knows very well."

Get that booty, Jerry Bruckheimer!

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