Lindsay Lohan Is Going to Jail
Cuff her ... and STuff Her! (image via realone.com)
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we present you Lindsay Lohan, jailbait. She's in jail; she's in jail because she failed. We still maintain that Nicole Ritchie, of the crazy-chic posse, ought to get a one-time-only get out of jail for free pass because she is Lionel Ritchie's daughter (C'mon; are you so hard-hearted as to be immune to the serious mellow that is Lionel's praetenatural "Hello"?). Anyhoo: Lindsay is the latest of that gang-that-couldn't-shoot-straight to do some light time in the pokey. From TMZ:
"Lindsay Lohan will not stand trial for DUI. She just struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI (driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher). By law, Lohan becomes a second offender (with two DUIs) and must serve a minimum of four days in jail. But the judge cut that in half. He ordered her to perform 10 days community service and shaved two days off her jail sentence. He also gave Lindsay on day credit for time served when she was busted. That means she gets a grand total of one day in jail."
Neglect to tell Linds that they store the fruit-cocktail sterno in he toilet to keep cool in the Summertime.