(image via canada.com)
Wow. The custodial services are going to be busy sterilizing "40 Rock" immediately following tonight's skanktastic SNL performace -- all up in Lorne Greene's bitch (Eew) -- featuring former "Dumbass," ehr, we mean "Jackass" star, Johnny Knoxville as host (Eeew), and Paula Abdul, AKA, "The Estevez," (Averted Gaze) making a special guest appearance (Eeew).
Penicilin and tablets of Quinine Sulfate will be distributed to members of the studio audience as a precaution, as it is a medical fact that airbourne skank cooties advances pace at bacterial velocities. (And what's this Fashionweekdaily says of a possible "manorexic" Karl Lagerfeld appearance/moment on tonight's SNL?! WTF?!)
But The Corsair digresses: All microphones handled by either host will be immediately inspected and medicinally scrubbed down for signs of resistant strains of highly contagious Estevez-Knoxville skankteria. Says the Star Telegram:
"What's the best way to rehabilitate your image if it has taken a P.R. body blow? Either spill your guts to the nation's therapist and Grand Confessor, Dr. Phil McGraw, who'll feel your pain while lobbing potentially embarrassing questions (as he did with the master of penitence, Pat O'Brien), or make fun of yourself on Saturday Night Live. American Idol's alleged vixen, Paula Abdul, is doing the latter. According to The Insider (O'Brien's show), the petite celeb judge will appear tonight on SNL, which will be hosted by Johnny Knoxville with musical guest System Of A Down."
"Meanwhile, Abdul, who had kept mum on the allegations by former Idol contestant Corey Clark, has spoken up. Issuing a non-denial denial Friday, Abdul first offered 'my deepest appreciation to the thousands of people throughout the world [who expressed] their support for me. All my life, I have been taught to take the high road, and never to dignify salacious or false accusations,' the statement says. 'And I have been taught never, never to lie.'"
Uhm, what does that mean exactly? Be specific, as enquiring minds want to know. Did Paula "knead Corey like dough" or what?
"Clark got in his licks on TV's Extra: 'I did it because of this machine American Idol trying to exploit kids.' He added: 'This makes her [Abdul] bigger than the show, which is something that she wanted.'"
Don't you love it when someone really and truly "of the ghetto" (Of the unfortunate mentality, The Corsair means, not the physical locale) tries to score in the media utilizing "ethical" points?
Bitterness, and, quite possibly a carefully calibrated upwind of career lift -- yes, that registers, that we can see -- but not moral and ethical outrage from the likes of Corey Clark. Naah. "Exploitation of kids"? Perish the thought. These thoughts do not keep a Corey up at night.
What made Corey kiss-n-tell? Well, Corey didn't win even after he *allegedly* "hooked up with" and got "help from" Paula Abdul. That's what burns him up; that, and the fact that fucking nonentity Clay is so big he's doing "Oprah" May 10th. Did you hear that?
Is anyone -- I mean anyone -- buying the pseudo-morally righteous tone of Corey Clark?
Didn't think so. Even Clark bails out on his primary argument, fully aware of its intrinsic ludicrousness, as the story notes, when he adds, as an aside: "This makes her [Abdul] bigger than the show, which is something that she wanted.'"
So ... the confession was all about Paula? This "helps" her? Coughcough --"ghetto." -- coughcough, the Ch�teau la Coustarelle Cahors went down the wrong passageway. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) C'est tout.
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