A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Sophie Marceau, Cannes. Elegant French actress Sophie Marceau in the middle of an, ahem, "wardrobe malfunction," (functionnaire mal d'amoire) at -- of all places -- "Cannes" (Averted Gaze). The Sunday Herald finds her pretentious. We, however, find her to have ... chic.

Out: Nuclear Option. By the time Star Wars Revenge of the Sith is out in theaters across the country, unless this last minute meeting with Senate leaders all up in Bill Frist's "bitch" on Sunday afternoon (Too early for Wolf Blitzer's wrap up?) bears fruit, we are in for one of the most wrenching Senate battles over the fate of our republic. Will there be a Senate shutdown a la "Gingy's" fightin' 104th Congress?

Although TheHill seemed skeptical of the outcome of this "hootenanny," they wrote:

"Frist said Friday that he planned to host a group of several senators for a social event at his home, then volunteered that Sen. Pete Domenici (R-N.M.) will be cooking duck for the group.
"Frist also indicated that he was considering several options to end the judicial filibuster next week, including some that differ from the so-called 'nuclear' or 'constitutional' option, which involves a parliamentary maneuver executed with a simple majority. One other idea that has been floated involves changing the standing orders of the Senate. Standing orders have the effect of rules, and have been used to guide committee action and other procedures. Another would involve passing a resolution setting up a 'fast-track' procedure for judges, similar to one used to speed trade legislation through Congress. 'We have six or seven options,' Frist told a small group of reporters Friday. 'Everybody assumes that the constitutional option is the only way to go. It is not.'"

Will Senator Trent Lott be supplying possum with all the fixins and the ... "bacon drippin's"? Will Ted Kennedy be supplying the Chivas Regal? Or, will the Senator's be forced to draw from ancient jugs of Olde Bobby Byrd's West Virginian Pre-Prohibition Moonshine (TM)? Is it true, BTW, that Teddy's wife, Victoria Reggie, has him on "lockdown," eating rabbit-food and drinking in moderation? What's this world coming to (Averted Gaze) if Teddy K can't put back a bottle of "The Chivy," during a marthon session of groupie sex on his boat of Hyannisport?



(Warhol headshot of Kempner via Jablonkagallerie)

In: Nan Kempner. The next time you hear Vader-like wheezing at Swifty's, it may not be the odd investment banking billionaire righting himself still hours after after sexing his trophy wife; it might be not that but the indomitable Nan Kempner. If Nan Kempner didn't exist, then it would have been necessary to invent her. The icy-thin, American socialite launched a thousand parodies (and "air-kisses") from the pages of Spy, and served as the prototype for Vanity Fair's Nan Darien. Now, According to Gatecrasher:

"The gaggle of young socialites at Memorial Sloan-Kettering's 'Aces Are Wild' benefit on Thursday was buzzing with concern over the health of Nan Kempner.

"A family friend confirmed to me yesterday that the socialite superstar, 74, had been in a medically induced coma but is now recovering.

"She was admitted to intensive care at New York Hospital and placed on a respirator.

"... Kempner has recently been in declining health and breathes with the aid of an oxygen tank. In her 30 years of heading up Memorial Sloan-Kettering benefits with pal Pat Buckley, she helped raise a staggering $75 million for the cancer hospital."

We wish Nan Kempner the best.



(image via freenet)

Out: Paris Hilton. Paris' conquest of Cannes continues apace. Despite the fact that she has not a single movie in competition, her massive entourage and dramatic yacht entrance are garnering all the press buzz. Damn. Just when you thought she was about to go away, Paris gets all "international." Just like an unpredictable Aquarian, she. According to the 3AM Girls:

"NINE hours of boozing is never quite enough, especially when your name is Paris Hilton.

"Determined not to call last orders on a mega-bender in Cannes, the hotel heiress demanded that the �500-a-night Hotel Du Cap re-open the bar just for her and her entourage.

"And that was despite the fact that the 24-year-old - who is in Cannes to promote her latest film, National Lampoon's Pledge This - was so trollied that at one point she stumbled into the gents' (bathroom)...

"A source at the hotel tells us: 'She and her pals started drinking on a yacht at 6pm. Then they moved on to a few other swish drinking holes.

"'By 2.30am they were still up for a party so they headed to the du Cap, where Hollywood stars such as Val Kilmer are staying.'"

Well, Val Kilmer is not exactly a star. He is, of course, a malevolent celestial occurence of some kind, true. Gaseous, yes; flatulent, absolutely. But not a "star," per se.

"The bar had closed at 2am but that didn't deter Paris and her pals.

"Our spy says: 'She looked a little tired and emotional and headed straight for the bar. She was politely told she was too late, but Paris doesn't take no for an answer.'

"A flunkey was soon dispatched to sweet-talk the bar staff, while Paris, who was looking unusually buxom, staggered into the gents.

"Our spy continues: 'Paris and her friends were in a state of undress in the bathroom when a male guest walked in.'

"When she realised her mistake Paris shrieked: 'But the sign doesn't look like a man!' then legged it to the ladies. After sharing a cubicle with her pal she started wiping herself with paper towels, wailing, 'Look! I've got vodka and tequila all over my dress and my skin!'"

More story here.