Thursday, May 05, 2005

Pitt-Jolie Hot Monkey Sex Tour, Part Deux


(link via thisislondon)

Both Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are powerless to stop the "hott monkey sex" that appears to have enveloped their entire lives and ensnared us all in the process. And more is coming. Great evolutionary forces are at work in the ground-of-being. Galactic energies inform their operations; the implications are cosmic in scale. Africa's fecundity generates necessitous "slap and tickle."

It is eminently logical that the two hottest people in the world "hook up" with "the hott monkey sex," and, if possible, ancillary to the moist noises and soiled sheets, replicate in order to save the world. We are watching classic "speciation" at work. The future of humankind depends upon their angelic progeny. In such a situation, only "juju herbs," can reverse the magnetic pull of planetary destiny. It is described by our favorite superhero gossip duo, Rush and Molloy:

"A week after their romantic interlude in Kenya, (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) hooked up in Morocco."

(Echoing across the veldt, frightening the animals) "What's in the booooooooxxxxx...."

"Saturday, the cast and crew celebrated the start of Pitt's next movie, 'Babel,' with a party in the North African kingdom.

"Pitt made sure to stop by, but he left after just one drink.

"He had a good reason for turning in early: Jolie was waiting back at his suite."

Pitt stop: Suite=Sweet.

"People magazine reports that, after wrapping up humanitarian visits to Ethiopia and South Africa, Pitt flew to London. There, he and Jolie boarded a private jet to Morocco. Befitting their status as the most-hunted game in Africa, the couple was transported to Pitt's hotel in a three-vehicle convoy.

"Their reunion was brief. Replenished with love, Jolie left the next morning."

No doubt satisfied (The Corsair squints his eyes), disheveled, with her hair all in ... "sex-dreadlocks."


Anonymous said...

Ha! Excellent analysis of the Brad/Angelina merger.


Bubbles, Ink. said...

As usual...BRILLIANT.

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