Tuesday, May 24, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out


(image via Ocregister)

In: The Band of Brothers. Hooray for nonpartisan centrists. These happy few, this band of brothers rescued America from the divisive partisan bitchery of hacks. Darth Frist and Emperor Rove must be stewing in their Sith juices. The Corsair is a proud centrist (The Corsair pours himself a tumbler of 12 year old Glenmourangie Madeira Wood finish), and this was a great moment for the American Republic. The courtly, traditionalist Senators like John Warner of Virginia and John McCain of Arizona won out. President John McCain? Hmm. We like the sound of that quite much. Overmuch. Sign me up! How can this blog help along this man's quest after the White House? Put us to use, Senator! Quoth the Old Gray Lady:

"Senator John McCain, the Arizona Republican who was a chief architect of the deal, said the negotiators had been motivated by a mutual desire to prevent lasting damage to the Senate from a rules change. Mr. McCain said the pact was hammered out in the 'finest traditions of the Senate.'

"'We have kept the Republic,' said Senator Robert C. Byrd, Democrat of West Virginia, who had fought the rules change as an abuse of Senate traditions."

No word yet on the impending Sith revenge.


image via Newswire

Out: Tim Russert. We woke up hungover hoping for Sunday morning fireworks and got, well, unimpressive sparks instead. What the fuck? The Corsair is a big Russert fan, second only to the most excellent LX Robotnik in admiration of all things Russ, but Russert grilled Howard Dean medium-rare, and we were expecting something more akin to a scorching. What gives? According to Page Six (link via Wonkette):

"THAT the Beltway crowd is buzzing over Tim Russert's softball interrogation of Howard Dean on 'Meet the Press' on Sunday. Said one observer: 'The Democrats were terrified of how Dean would do, but Russert ? famed for grilling people till they are fried ? basically tanked and asked no follow-up questions, leaving Dean relatively unscathed.'"


(image via NYPost)

In:The Graydon Carter-Anna Scott Nups. We've been hard on old Graydo, our favorite Winston Lights smoking, Libertarian, architectonic haired, no African-Americans on the cover of his magazine having, media persona. So hard we've been. So, we're going to give him a "bye" today, with fashionweekdaily's wedding coverage:

"Guests described the wedding as being laidback but less intimate than they thought it would be. One of the guests went so far as to say that Graydon was not terribly pleased with the number of guests?approximately 175?that attended. The invitees also noted that it rained only during the moments that they were safely tucked away in the church or underneath a tent. Post-wedding, the couple retreated to a tropical island?Antigua was named by some?for a honeymoon of undisclosed length.

"But much of the discussion in Manhattan after the Connecticut wedding was about the cancelled Vanity Fair party in Cannes. Turns out that, despite other published reports about Vanity Fair special events director Sara Marks being assigned to devote all her time and effort to the nuptials, those who know how Graydon operates insist that there was a never a question about the Vanity Fair Cannes Film Festival soiree and Graydon?s wedding crossing paths.

"'Graydon easily could?ve jetted into the party and jetted right back out,' the close source pointed out, adding that the two events would have been a week apart from each other. 'It?s not like he?s trimming the topiary himself. Besides, his special events team really has the formula for these parties down to a science. If he really wanted to host a party at Cannes again, it would?ve been done?with Sara [Marks].'"

The full story here.


(image Via BBC)

Out: P Diddy. Why does P Diddy suck so badly? When he ran the marathon he was so cool. It's just not P Diddy's year. After crashing and burning on his "Vote or Die" campaign to get the youth vote out (The youth vote ultimately comprised of roughly the same proportion of the electorate as it did in 2000), Diddy kept under the radar for the tailend of 2004, only to resurface as a Diet Pepsi whore in a Superbowl commercial in 2005. To add insult to injury, according to the 3AM Girls, no one was interested in purchasing P Diddy during a (very politically incorrect) charity auction.

We cannot fail to mention that a member of Bobby Brown's seedy entourage was stabbed at a P Diddy Atlanta Restaurant. Finally, according to Rush and Molloy, Diddy was unsuccessful with Nicole Kidman, who likes dark meat, but is allergic to loserdust.


Above: A newly "spontaneous" Tom Cruise molests Oprie. (photoblog via Defamer)

In: Tom Cruise on Oprie. The new, urban (TM), uncontrived, (air quotes) "more spontaneous" Tom Cruise went on "Oprie." (Averted Gaze) -- "He can't be cool, He can't be laid back" -- (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Defamer captures the cracked ambiance perfectly:

"Was Tom Cruise's appearance on Oprah yesterday really that strange? It was like any other hour spent with someone hell-bent on physically expressing their 'love': there is sweating, uncontrollable yelping, wrestling, the liberal abuse of furniture, the twisting of bodies into extremely uncomfortable positions, more wrestling, and moments of seeming forced imprisonment."

The Corsair never thought he'd say this, but: Hey, Tom, like-- uh, can you, uh, go back to being an intense and contrived super-robot again? Really. You're fucking with my mellow.


(image via Jamesbond007.net)

Out: Benicio del Toro, Elevator man. What the fuck is it with Benicio del Toro and elevators and starlets and award shows? According to that significant cultural artifact The National Enquirer:

"When Penelope Cruz and her mother became stuck in a stalled hotel elevator at the Cannes Film Festival, Benicio Del Toro rescued the damsels in distress. Trapped between two floors, Del Toro lifted both women through the trap door at the top of the elevator."

Of course, we cannot fail to mention the 3:30AM tryst that the accurately named 3AM Girls reported on at last year's Oscar madness between expert social climber Scarlett Johansson and "Benny the Bull":

"'Our spies caught the pair walking into the exclusive Chateau Marmont hotel on Sunset Boulevard at 3.30am with their arms wrapped around each other before getting into a lift to go somewhere a little more intimate.

"'They didn't care who saw them,' says our source. 'They walked through the hotel lobby where there were quite a few people hanging about and didn't seem at all embarrassed to be spotted with their arms all over each other."

The Corsair munches on salt-free popcorn and leans into his screen.

"'It was quite extraordinary. She looks so young and he could easily pass for her dad.

"'They then got into (an elevator) together. At that time in the morning they couldn't have been heading to the hotel pool, put it like that. They were clearly going to the rooms."


Bubbles, Ink. said...

I must say I, too, was quite disappointed with Russ' softballs. Although he's kept mum for many years on his political affiliation, this may very well answer it.

No one's perfect, though. I remain a Russ fan. Both on and off-screen persona.

Bubbles, Ink. said...

If you think of anything I can do for Pres. McCain, give me a holler. I'm still sick over the debacle in South Carolina in '00.

Ron said...

I remain a Russ fan as well. Notwithstanding the Dean interview, he's the hardest questioner in the Imperial City, hands down.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for voicing my opinion about Poof Daddy. He is so overplayed. Why can't he just relax and give someone else air time. What was he thinking trying to get with Nicole Kidman. He has a black cloud following him and which seems to only affect the people who get close to him.

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