Tuesday, May 31, 2005

For the Love of Barack


(image via s-train)

The courting of Barack Obama is growing ferociously competetive in the Senate among Democratic hopefuls, apparently. Hillary and Joe Biden are both trying to recruit him to their cause. Biden isn't going anywhere, though, except possibly an appointment as Secretary of State under a less follicley-challenged and more charismatic Democrat; Hillary all but has the nomination already locked, but hath not nearly enough Senate seniority to sweeten up the pot in a tete-a-tete with Biden. Radar Online reports:

"The 2008 presidential race may still be a ways off, but sources say Democratic hopefuls New York Sen. Hillary Clinton and Delaware Sen. Joe Biden have already clashed in their courtship of potential running mate and presumed party savior Barack Obama."

"The wooing began not long after Obama won his Illinois senate seat last November when an unofficial 'Clinton-Obama 2008' organization began circulating bumper stickers for the possible pairing. Sensing an opening, Clinton quickly bonded with Obama, playing up their shared Chicago roots and partnership on the outre Environmental and Public Works Committee."

Hillary: Hey, you're on the Environmental and Public Works Committee. So am I. Small world. How cool is that?
Barack: Suuper. (Averted Gaze) My "tootsies" are aching. (Cracked voice) "Daddy" wants a pedicure.
Hillary: (Soothing) What have you been doing to these widdle piggies, "Daddy"? (Gently Admonishing) Have you been filibustering? Let me massage these for you.

"But Clinton's gonna have to do a lot better than that if she wants to outplay Biden, sources say.

"Not only was the silver-haired senator a fixture at Obama's Chicago campaign fundraisers last year, he also managed to snag his new pal a coveted slot on the decidedly more glamorous Foreign Relations Committee, providing the two with some priceless photo ops in the battleground states of Iraq and Afghanistan. "

Biden: (Suppliant; Neck bared, submissively, a la "Wild Kingdom") Can I hand-feed you another Lamb kebab, "alpha"?
Barack: (Nonchalant) I couldn't eat another one, Joe. I'm fit to bust already.
Biden: This is the life, alpha, isn't it?
Barack: That it is, my friend. No good turn will be forgotten, Joe, and no transgression unavenged.

"With a recent Pew Research poll showing a majority of Americans supposedly ready to vote for Hillary, the former First Lady isn't likely to roll over and let Biden poach her hoped-for secret weapon. 'Hillary practically adopted Obama, and now Joe's stealing her baby,' says one Capitol Hill observer. 'She's definitely got a grudge against Biden.'"

Hillary: I saw him first, you balding plagiarist! That sweet black ass is mine!
Biden: He's miiine!

More on Radar's Fresh Intelligence.

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