Tuesday, May 17, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

letterman

In: David Letterman (link via CNN). Mirabile dictu. According to Drudgie Poo, David Letterman beat Jay Leno's synthetic ass, carried aloft by the tidal wave finale of Everyone Loves Raymond (A show, BTW, that Letterman's TV production company made happen) :

"'RAYMOND' BLOWOUT AT CBS: FINALE PULLS 21.3 RATING/29 SHARE... CBS 'CSI: MIAMI' 16.0 RATING/24 SHARE OVER FOX '24' SCORE OF 7.9/11... ABC LIVE 'BACHELOR' 7.2/11... MONDAY NIGHT SWEEP... LETTERMAN TAKES LENO 5.5/13 TO 4.5/11..."

Now all we have to do is get Drudgie poo to stop shouting the info.

donna-karan

Out: Donna Karan. At some point we imagine the highly efficient men with nigh-unbreakable straightjackets are going to one day swoop down and fucking cart ol' crazyface Donna Karan back to whatever stylish institution from which she escaped. This will be done tastefully, though. What the fuck? According to Fashionweekdaily:

"As for Donna, clad in a flowing black dress and hammered gold necklace, she refused to name favorites. 'Yes, I liked the glass bowls a lot but I really like everything. I love the whole exhibition, how it was set up, and I love the energy in the room. Dutch art is really wonderful �and going Dutch on a date is cool, and actually, I�m looking for a Dutch guy!'"

"Then Donna laughed and climbed up the staircase .."

*The Corsair shudders*

karrine_steffans(004-t-shirt-nude-waist-down-med)

Above: Bill Mahar's date for the BET Awards in a tasteful "bottomless" shot (image via eurweb).

In: Bill Maher and Superhead. Our favorite libertarian has a lot of panache. He practically lives at the Playboy mansion. And when he's not there romancing the 'cone, he's hosting Real Time, saying -- on air -- the incendiary things most people are too afraid to say out loud but are probably thinking. Finally, Maher, like Robert Deniro -- how does one put this in a family friendly blog? -- appears to have a taste for "the dark meat." (But, unlike Deniro, Maher prefers his dark meat on the "gamey," side) And sh'e just good old reliable "superhead."

First there was the very busted-looking "Coco," voted by her high school class Most Likely To Go To A Swishy Restaurant And Ask For The "Shrimps" (Averted Gaze; Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Maher's taste has evolved, though, we must say, now he's progressed to "Superhead," the skanky seconds of Fred Durst. And they are actually a "couple."

According to Lloyd Grove:

"It looks like hip-hop video vixen Karrine Steffans - who claims in an upcoming book to have gotten up close and personal with everyone from Vin Diesel to Shaquille O'Neal - is spending some real time with Bill Maher.

"'He makes me happy,' the 26-year-old Steffans told Daily News contributor Jawn Murray yesterday about her 49-year-old manfriend, the comic host of HBO's political talk show 'Real Time With Bill Maher.'"

To paraphrase Woody Allen, the loins want what the loins want.

dick

Out: Madonna. We've always stated on this blog that the reason Madonna sucketh so mightily of late is the simple fact that she is too egocentric. If Madonna would do independent, challenging, gritty films where she played against type -- a Midwestern middle aged crystal meth addict, say -- she would win Oscars, critical acclaim and finally attain that elusive movie star status she so craves. Not going to happen, though. Madonna's central psychological characteristic is a near-infinite narcissism. It is an insurmountable wall she appears unable to climb. Madonna's self-love is Schwarzenneggerian in scope.

Madge's latest self important film, Re-Invented Process was essentially deemed just a tad too masturbatory for inclusion at Cannes. So Madonna's taking her show to the Venice Film Festival. And if they don't accept her latest ... we hear Cinemuerte has a horror film festival that might be open to the Ciccone "honey touch." And there's always Dick Tracy 2, and a resuscitation of the "Breathless Mahoney" character. According to the 3AM Girls:

"... We're told that the mum-of-two, 46, will jet in to Cannes later this week for meetings with organisers of the Venice Film Festival, in an attempt to persuade them to include her Jonas Akerlund-directed documentary in their programme.

"'Madonna was very disappointed when Cannes organisers decided against showing the film, 'a festival insider reveals. 'Especially after she hired a top director and then re-edited it especially for the festival.'"

"Now Madge will hold back-to-back meetings in the Hotel Du Cap with Venice organisers.

"'She could have sent a flunkey but she knows that if anyone can twist their arms, it'll be her. She can't trust someone else with something this important.'"

Self-important.

3 comments:

dParker2.0 said...

Bill Maher and "Superhead"?? What is he going to do next, call up Hugh Grant for Divine Brown's number?

Now we know why he's been giggling so much lately...

Ron said...

"Divine" Brown is definitely gamey enough for Bill. He was probably curious about the nickname, as Maher studied Literature at Cornell and all. The thing that blew me away is that he's bringing her to the Black Entertainment Awards. She probably has done many of the players there, as she is a groupie of some -- ah -- "renown" in the African-American community. Is that it? Is she a link (no pun intended)?

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