Monday, August 15, 2005

Jose Canseco: Ur-Man


(image via deans-list)

He's so "Ur." The Corsair has a particular distaste for Jose Canseco. He's a big, sweaty fucking beast. Canseco expemplifies the untaxed mind, "the Id" unrestrained." For one, he did sterioids, and was unrepentant, sullying, the All-American sport of baseball, going so far as to parlay ass-shots to his friends; then he rats them out, publicly. Then, *allegedly* he cheats on his wife, the mother of his kid, presenting her, *allegedly*, with a "social disease," thus, in the process, making Dennis Rodman look like a veritable William F. Buckley, Jr of marital fidelity.

The very name "Canseco" suggests to us devolution, a Schwarzeneggerian leap backwards (as opposed to a Kierkegaardian leap forwards), in the historical progress of mankind. Of Canseco, we recently scribbled, "Jose Canseco, Man-Beast, Damned, Dirty Ape. Has Jose Canseco -- he of the jutting horsejaw -- even even attained the upright posture? Doubtful. He seems Neanderthalic, monosyllabic, bestial, oily, devoid of higher thought, -- Schwarzeneggerish even -- but not quite human."


A Canseco-ish primitive possessively wielding the jawbone of an ass. (image via ugopazzati)

Cruel, but fair. From Gatecrasher we get this tasty morsel, confirming our instinctual disdain, "Which baseball player who used to be married to ­Jessica Canseco gave her a nasty little something he picked up on the road while she was pregnant, according to her new tell-all book, 'Juicy'"?


A primitive-ish Canseco possessively wielding a Loisville slugger. (image via epochtimes)


Anonymous said...

Dang Ron, you are kinda tough on old Jose there. I am somewhat gay, so I can't help but think he is hot. But I can tell you, I have never looked to professional athletes for any kind of moral or
cultural guidance. They don't get paid for their brains.
However, I think you are the cat's meow. Loved those cheetahs.
Your friend,

The Corsair said...

Jose's hott? I know .. I'm hard on him. I don't know why. Thanks for the kind words, though, Hiram. Cheers, R

Anonymous said...

It couldn't have anything to do with all those trampy girls hanging all over him. All the time.
Could it?

The Corsair said...

you're probably right. I don't go this hard on people unless I've been drinking haterade. You are much too good for him, though hiram. You read my blog. You have taste. Cheers, R.

Felicite said...

I must agree with Hiram but only on the last picture you posted. He looks hot. We like dumb men. Now if only he came with a mute button?