Monday, August 01, 2005

Melissa Gilbert To Leave SAG: President Tom Hanks?

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(image via indiadaily)

As if it weren't bad enough that the AFL-CIO were cleft in twain, SAG President Melissa "Half-Pint" Gilbert will not seek another term.

The exasperated former "Little House on the Prairie" star appeared on AMC's Sunday Morning Shootout with all guns ablazing. Gilbert, who is nonsalaried, spoke of the non-earners who dominate voting in SAG elections. Barely able to maintain a veneer of political correctness, she referred to the 70 percent of actors who have earned less than $1,000 in the past year as thespians as "those people," "bitter," "unemployed actors," and "non-earners." Gilbert sees that voting bloc as embittered by the Hollywood process that didn't grant them their dreams of celebrity.

Melissa Gilbert painted an apocalyptic scenario in which those actors could, within the next two years, shut down Hollywood to revenge themselves against perceived slights by agents and producers. "It has a potential for dire consequences in ... the wrong camps." We cannot fail to add that Melissa Gilbert pronounced the words "wrong camps" in a manner which suggested that the all inclusive "motherfuckers" might be the more accurate description.

Intriguingly, the outgoing SAG president suggested that either Tom Hanks or failed blogger George Clooney -- top earners, both -- should take her place.

The Corsair likes the sound of Tom Hanks (Warren Beatty, who has been mired in loser dust of late, might also be an interesting choice, IMHO). How many untold Oscars, how many top-billing movie posters and how much "Hasselhoff money" does the man goddam need anyway to achieve ever-elusive self-acceptance. Tom Hanks could do so much more for America by presiding over the dysfunctional SAG, dispensing folksy wisdom, after the manner of Reagan.

President Tom Hanks?

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