Friday, July 30, 2004

Entourages Are the New Black

The Lil Kim perjury trial involving her entourage was postponed this week until February, which was bad news for entourages in general, but there are several other mitigating factors that ought to be taken into account when rendering a final verdict on the social merits of that significant cultural artifact, the entourage.

The Corsair puts on his culturall anthropologist hat, then tips it to the side, at a 45 degree-angle, giving it a little "Fosse," a little Kevin Federline flavor, if you will.

Frankly, The Corsair believes that even the exquisitely witty Thorstein Veblen, the patron saint of snarky bloggers, would agree that it is indeed a good time in general to be a celebrity tag along. Why, the excess pussy runoff alone (okay, that does sound kind of gross) makes this a noteworthy career option that "merit un detour."

For one, HBO renewed Entourage for a second season, validating their existence.

Second, to be sure, entourages were all over the DNC convention in Boston, like ugly on Congressman Tom Delay. Diddy's alone filled 4 golf carts. The Affleck's peeps were on DefCon 3, separating the wheat from the chaff. Chris Heinz's were busy fending off young women determined to sperate him from his trust fund. But the most symbolic of symbols: Kerry's "Band of Brothers" -- Can anyone say "entourage"? -- was in full effect, ending the Convention, providing the most glorious of photo ops; yes, the entourage is no longer relegated to the music and movie industry: the entourage has infected our body politic.

P Diddy's entourage, it has been said, rivals Christ's. Although his people are far from saintly, truth be told, and they are probably not as loyal as that charismatic Jesus', just ask Joyce Wadler of the NY Times, who took an elbow to the chops from an unruly yes-man. But they tend to have a Spaniel-like fidelity to the one who pays the bills, and, as The Old Gray Lady says, where the star goes, so does their entourage, and, depending on the drawing power of the star, executives may have to rearrange plans:

"Ocean MacAdams, vice president for news for MTV ... was trying to secure Thursday floor passes for P. Diddy's entourage. Mr. MacAdams admitted that he had offered two concert tickets in exchange for floor passes but was turned down. "

Here's what I wrote about entourages way back in December:

"Entourages are the new black. There a must get, they suggest that people want to be around you, fodder over you, protect you, because you are rich and famous and, it logically follows, fabulously interesting. You don't have to say it's all about me when you have an entourage around you -- it is simply taken for granted.

"An entourage implies money -- how else would one be able to keep beefy bodyguards in the Cristal and swordfish and 'the sticky ickey'; how else could one clothe, bejewel and perfume a gaggle of models, pay the cellphone bills of a murder of publicists and 'guys from around the way'?

"The ultimate in entourage chic, as here demonstrated by (Charlize) Theron (2nd Item), is the fact that one's entourage grows, evolves, as the night progresses, into an unwieldy mass. You meet people and people want to meet you. People change, as 'social philosopher' Ritchie Rich once observed to me at a show taping: so why can't one's entourage reflect the social evolution that a hipster makes during the course of one boozy evening? Apparently a member of Theron's entourage -- who just kind of got absorbed into her gang during the course of an evening, kicked Brazilian paparazzo Laura Giannoni in the leg at Viscaya Lounge in New York.

"Theron, that hipster, probably doesn't even know who was in the entourage that evening, the Page Sixers wrote:'Giannoni filed a police report at the 13th Precinct. 'They took pictures of my face, but I can't press charges against the guy because I don't know who he is . . . I am distressed, depressed and tired.'"

"Forget the me generation, true believers, where's the cachet in that? It's the entourage generation, baby, who loves you? (Points to The Corsair entourage) they do."

I couldn't agree more, six months later; except bloggers don't have entourages, we have cyberstalkers. But we're drinking milk.

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