A Little of the Old In and Out
(Ed Note: Thanks Roe935 for clearing up the Laverne and Shirley issue.)
In: Lucy Sykes. According to Fashionweekdaily, "Marie Claire editor-at-large Lucy Sykes is styling the Liz Lange fashion show at the Bryant Park tents this September."
See you in September, darling. (The Corsair blows the gal an air kiss) So, don't now say that I never offered anything nice about La Sykes.
Tennis, anyone?
Out: Catwoman. Or, as Roger Friedman of Fox says purr-fectly:
"The only movie really doing worse (than The Village), of course, is 'Catwoman,' a film that's clawed its way to the bottom. The Halle Berry starrer is a financial disaster of a magnitude that must have Warner Bros. in a frenzy. (The awful New York premiere must have been an omen.)
"'Catwoman' has a $135 million price tag. So far, though, it's taken in only $36 million domestically and about $1.5 million overseas."
Meow. The Corsair still believes that Sharon Stone is the jinx of that minx, even though Halle is accident prone. Sharon has stunk up more theaters than those buttery popcorn smelling ventilators.
In: Hating X-Men director Bryan Singer. It's the new black. Hate on him, why don't you. Bryan may be an ass that gets tossed off the studio lot, but, apparently, he is fun to dish on. According to FlyOnTheWall:
"I got to see Singer in his full tyrannical glory a few years back when I was at post house to view a director friend's rough assemblage. (For you flyovers, a 'post house' is a post-production facility where sound work is done on a film; a 'rough assemblage' is a very rough first cut with only master shots.) I walked in the door of the normally quiet facility in Burbank and heard what sounded like a hoarse teenager screaming and crying in the distance. When I was escorted back to the appropriate screening room, I discovered the screeching teenager was none other than director Bryan Singer, standing on a chair in a mix room and screaming hoarsely at some poor post-production lackey for a minor oversight. Singer was in such a typhoon rage that his words were incomprehensible. But I'll never forget his face: red from crying as tears and snot poured down his puffy face to his quavering chin. He looked exactly like the overgrown baby that he is. Only in Hollywood."
Already posters are giving their favorite "Hating Bryan Singer" stories here in the comments section. The Corsair predicts that blogs are going to make it hard for Hollywood divas (and, their counterparts, "hevas") to get away with all the shit and vinegar they have been getting away with all these years in relative obscurity, ignored by their buddies in the LA press corps. The Corsair cannot wait for an Anonymous casting couch blog, dishing on Steven Segal and his ilk.
Out: Vanity Fair. According to Fashionweekdaily, "supermodel Gisele graces the October covers of both Esquire and Vanity Fair, the former being the magazine�s photo issue." So, uhm, I guess that means that since Gisele is from Brazil (but half German), that this could technically -- possibly, maybe -- count as a Latina cover for the alabaster VF? Hardly. Not "in," but out, damn VF.
In: Stalking Kevin Bacon. Question: Do you ever dream about trapping Kevin Bacon in a dungeon and watching him do the Footloose dances over and over, just for your amusement? No? It's just me?
Anyhoo: First, there was Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. The Game. And then it wasn't enough. It. Wasn't. Hardly. Enough. We Needed more Kevin; the bacon wasn't sizzling. (The Corsair breaks into a cold sweat, sharpens a meat cleaver). You don't know what it's like to be a Kevin Bacon fan, dude. You. Don't. Know.
Sometimes ... when I'm in a Diner late at night. Like: 3AM. And the waitress wants to refill my cup of Joe for, like, the tenth cup. And she's walking really slowly, so as not to distract me from my Guns and Ammo magazine. I ask for eggs and bacon, abruptly, loudly, just to keep her off balance. And when she wants to know how I want the bacon ... I tell her Kevin, get it, Kevin Bacon ... (The Corsair suddenly and abruptly breaks into a very loose imitation of Kevin Bacon's Footloose dance.
And now, (The Corsair pants audibly) the great Gawker (take it easy, Choire) has provided our prey, like a Nabokovean butterfly, mounted... I mean our Bacon fix; tee-hee:
"Saw Kevin Bacon AGAIN (I see him all the time because he lives a few blocks away) this morning, first standing on his apartment building steps peering out like a beacon of light�then following me into the subway (of course he was following me). I proceeded to stalk him into the car he was riding on but pretended I wasn�t interested. He was wearing black sweatpants with a green stripe, nicely accessorized with a well worn green Eagles baseball hat and a black t-shirt and sneaks. He wore his sunglasses and was reading the NY Times the whole time. I watched the other subway riders with amusement to see if they noticed it was him. I think a few were a little startled out of their morning stupor but no one bothered him. He is cute but a rather ordinary, if vaguely hip, guy. I got out in Midtown but he continued on�I wondered if he was going downtown to look at apartments because I saw in the NY Post that he might be looking to move out of the neighborhood (sob)!"
Then, the stalker reports go to briefly Nathan Lane, but quickly, justly, return to fixate on Our Kevy:
"Nathan Lane at Caf� Fiorello in front of Lincoln Center having an early dinner with a friend before his performance of The Frogs. Also, Kevin Bacon walking on the Upper West Side with a dreadlock headed boy."
Dreadlock freak terrorizes Gotham! (The Corsair whips up a frenzy) ... wait till they get a load of me.
Monday, August 09, 2004
LaToya Jackson Undergoes Name Surgery
MSNBC reports that LaToya Jackson has changed her name to "Toy":
"This week, the buoyant 'Just Wanna Dance' (JaTail Records) by Toy climbs two notches on the chart to No. 14.
�'It feels good to be back,' Toy Jackson told Billboard. 'With this single, I wanted people to judge the song on its own merit.'
"Jackson fully understands that her name comes with much baggage, good and bad. 'People weren�t giving me the chance to do my thing, which is to sing,' she said. 'So, I altered my name for this single to see what would happen.'�
But on the horizon of contemporary music there have been hints, as in her "hit" "Sex Box (the orignial mix, silly, without full force rap), she croons, rather humidly, "Last night laying in the bed/Thinking and dreaming of you/Real tight, holding on my hand,Thinking of what I had to do/Here I am, like a toy/Now your gonna play with me/Hey you! Come boy, Give me what you think I need"
Which, of course, begs the question, is Toy her name ... or her function? (The Corsair wags his eyebrows like Groucho Marx)
MSNBC reports that LaToya Jackson has changed her name to "Toy":
"This week, the buoyant 'Just Wanna Dance' (JaTail Records) by Toy climbs two notches on the chart to No. 14.
�'It feels good to be back,' Toy Jackson told Billboard. 'With this single, I wanted people to judge the song on its own merit.'
"Jackson fully understands that her name comes with much baggage, good and bad. 'People weren�t giving me the chance to do my thing, which is to sing,' she said. 'So, I altered my name for this single to see what would happen.'�
But on the horizon of contemporary music there have been hints, as in her "hit" "Sex Box (the orignial mix, silly, without full force rap), she croons, rather humidly, "Last night laying in the bed/Thinking and dreaming of you/Real tight, holding on my hand,Thinking of what I had to do/Here I am, like a toy/Now your gonna play with me/Hey you! Come boy, Give me what you think I need"
Which, of course, begs the question, is Toy her name ... or her function? (The Corsair wags his eyebrows like Groucho Marx)
Barbra Streisand: The Bloviator
I know I should like Barbra Streisand, former lover of the embattled Don Johnson, as it was her donation to The Nation Magazine that allowed me to intern at that Magazine straight out of college with a nice little stipend to get me through the week. I should feel all warm and fuzzy and full of gish darn gratitude. And, damn, that extra beer money helped me slough through the Summer of 1995. But, Goddam, is she a bloviator or what?
According to The National Enquirer, that significant cultural artifact:
"Furious over Barbra Streisand's outrageous demands after they asked her to speak at the Democratic National Convention, organizers rebelled and yelled: 'Streisand . . . STAY HOME!'"
The Corsair heartily agrees.
"Snarled one insider: 'She was a nightmare!' La Streisand delivered a typewritten list of demands that blah-blah-ed on for pages about makeup artists . . . hairdressers . . . a fleet of limos . . . hotel suites for the star's entourage and a small army of private bodyguards . . . etc. In addition, say sources, she ordered Dems to hire extra guards for her protection and (here's my favorite!) even dictated strict security demands to the FBI! Topping it all off, party 'loyalist' Streisand refused to pony up a penny toward the staggering bill -- insisting that the tab be paid by campaign contributions from ordinary Americans! Seething party bosses told the singer through clenched teeth: 'Thanks . . . but no thanks!' Now Streisand's fibbing to pals that she couldn't attend the convention because she's working on 'Meet the Fockers' -- but sources say her scenes were shot long before the opening gavel banged!"
But that is nothing compared to the 4-page bio on her shameless web site, which bloviates at Wagnerian length about, among other things, her "honorary degree from Brandeis," and:
"Ms. Streisand's feelings about the rights and obligations of artists to participate in the political process were brought into sharp focus by her early 1995 speech at Harvard University under the sponsorship of the John F. Kennedy School of Government. The address won unprecedented reportage and reproduction in such print media as the New York Times and the Washington Post. It was carried a record number of times on C-SPAN and is included in Senator Robert Torricelli's book, 'In Our Words: The American Century,' a collection of important speeches of the 20th century."
This may in fact be a first, people: not only is Babs' site bragging about being her "The Artist as Citizen"(a speech written by Kerry's consigliere Bob Shrum and touched up by Peter Jennings) being carried a record number of times on C-Span, a dubious distinction at best, but, further, the site bloviates about being included in a collection of important speeches of the 20th century, edited by Robert "I'm Sorry" Toricelli.
Granted, lyrical stylings like "Love soft as an easy chair/Love fresh as the morning air," do not a Holderlin make, but if she's going to be so in-your-face about her left politics, she could at least frame it in such a way that it does not call attention to how many fucking diva perks she needs.
I know I should like Barbra Streisand, former lover of the embattled Don Johnson, as it was her donation to The Nation Magazine that allowed me to intern at that Magazine straight out of college with a nice little stipend to get me through the week. I should feel all warm and fuzzy and full of gish darn gratitude. And, damn, that extra beer money helped me slough through the Summer of 1995. But, Goddam, is she a bloviator or what?
According to The National Enquirer, that significant cultural artifact:
"Furious over Barbra Streisand's outrageous demands after they asked her to speak at the Democratic National Convention, organizers rebelled and yelled: 'Streisand . . . STAY HOME!'"
The Corsair heartily agrees.
"Snarled one insider: 'She was a nightmare!' La Streisand delivered a typewritten list of demands that blah-blah-ed on for pages about makeup artists . . . hairdressers . . . a fleet of limos . . . hotel suites for the star's entourage and a small army of private bodyguards . . . etc. In addition, say sources, she ordered Dems to hire extra guards for her protection and (here's my favorite!) even dictated strict security demands to the FBI! Topping it all off, party 'loyalist' Streisand refused to pony up a penny toward the staggering bill -- insisting that the tab be paid by campaign contributions from ordinary Americans! Seething party bosses told the singer through clenched teeth: 'Thanks . . . but no thanks!' Now Streisand's fibbing to pals that she couldn't attend the convention because she's working on 'Meet the Fockers' -- but sources say her scenes were shot long before the opening gavel banged!"
But that is nothing compared to the 4-page bio on her shameless web site, which bloviates at Wagnerian length about, among other things, her "honorary degree from Brandeis," and:
"Ms. Streisand's feelings about the rights and obligations of artists to participate in the political process were brought into sharp focus by her early 1995 speech at Harvard University under the sponsorship of the John F. Kennedy School of Government. The address won unprecedented reportage and reproduction in such print media as the New York Times and the Washington Post. It was carried a record number of times on C-SPAN and is included in Senator Robert Torricelli's book, 'In Our Words: The American Century,' a collection of important speeches of the 20th century."
This may in fact be a first, people: not only is Babs' site bragging about being her "The Artist as Citizen"(a speech written by Kerry's consigliere Bob Shrum and touched up by Peter Jennings) being carried a record number of times on C-Span, a dubious distinction at best, but, further, the site bloviates about being included in a collection of important speeches of the 20th century, edited by Robert "I'm Sorry" Toricelli.
Granted, lyrical stylings like "Love soft as an easy chair/Love fresh as the morning air," do not a Holderlin make, but if she's going to be so in-your-face about her left politics, she could at least frame it in such a way that it does not call attention to how many fucking diva perks she needs.
Deadbeat ... Looking For a Deadbeat
Embattled actor Don Johnson, who played Sonny Crockett, the alagator pet-owning rough-edged pastel wearing sailboat living cop, may soon be singing The Smuggler's Blues with Johnny Law himself if he doesn't pony up some dinero for his unpaid shopping bills, according to the Beeb:
"A judge has ordered Hollywood actor Don Johnson to pay an unpaid shopping bill of nearly $5,500.
"Pitkin County District Judge Erin Fernandez-Ely said Johnson must pay $5,470 ... for the overdue balance at Clark's Market.
"The judge also ordered Mr Johnson to pay $426.85 in interest to the grocery store in Aspen, Colorado."
Although the former icon has put his Aspen 17 acre ranch for sale, The Aspen Daily News writes:
"Tom Clark, president of the valley-based, nine-store chain, said it's doubtful he'll extend the former 'Miami Vice' star a line of credit in the future, even if he satisfies his tab. Clark's had given Johnson a line of credit since 1989, but last year his bill went unpaid, and he had been in default since September, according to court papers.
"'We're dealing with somebody who at one time was very credit worthy and obviously a very successful actor and a very successful businessman, and really, it's sad,' Clark said. 'It's sad for anybody who's successful but can no longer pay their bills. This was not a fun thing to do, and hopefully I'll never have to do it again.'"
Pay the bill, Sonny, or, you belong to the city, Don, the city of Aspen's penitentiary.
Comment here or VH1's BWE Blog
Embattled actor Don Johnson, who played Sonny Crockett, the alagator pet-owning rough-edged pastel wearing sailboat living cop, may soon be singing The Smuggler's Blues with Johnny Law himself if he doesn't pony up some dinero for his unpaid shopping bills, according to the Beeb:
"A judge has ordered Hollywood actor Don Johnson to pay an unpaid shopping bill of nearly $5,500.
"Pitkin County District Judge Erin Fernandez-Ely said Johnson must pay $5,470 ... for the overdue balance at Clark's Market.
"The judge also ordered Mr Johnson to pay $426.85 in interest to the grocery store in Aspen, Colorado."
Although the former icon has put his Aspen 17 acre ranch for sale, The Aspen Daily News writes:
"Tom Clark, president of the valley-based, nine-store chain, said it's doubtful he'll extend the former 'Miami Vice' star a line of credit in the future, even if he satisfies his tab. Clark's had given Johnson a line of credit since 1989, but last year his bill went unpaid, and he had been in default since September, according to court papers.
"'We're dealing with somebody who at one time was very credit worthy and obviously a very successful actor and a very successful businessman, and really, it's sad,' Clark said. 'It's sad for anybody who's successful but can no longer pay their bills. This was not a fun thing to do, and hopefully I'll never have to do it again.'"
Pay the bill, Sonny, or, you belong to the city, Don, the city of Aspen's penitentiary.
Comment here or VH1's BWE Blog
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Congressman Alexander Switches Parties
This dude, Rep. Rodney Alexander, is so devilishly calm, so sneaky, so silent as he did it, so interesting, that I am fascinated by what logistics went on behind the scenes that caused him to switch parties and take such a gamble at a time when, quite frankly, anything can happen and it usually does.
In these partisan days, where all collegial comeraderie and sense of compromise has gone the Way of the Dodo, I'd thought I'd seen everything -- everything! -- and here comes Rodney Alexander, who schools me but good on Politicking 101. I didn't even see this one coming, I don't think anyone did, not even the political junkies at TheHill.com, and certainly not the "plugged in" cats on CNN's Inside Politics, or Chris Matthews' Hard Ball.
Old Rod just gave us all a lesson in the political snooker, and how an unassuming Congressman can steal the weekend. Who knew he had game like that? He and Alan Keyes are the players of the week the AP reports:
"In 48 hours, Rep. Rodney Alexander went from Democrat to Republican, friend to foe � or foe to friend, depending on your political persuasion.
"Democrats reacted to the news by calling the first-term congressman a turncoat and a coward. They must now gain another seat, 12 in all, to win back the House this fall. The count today: Democrats 205, Republicans 229. "A new ally, on the other hand, rang him up Friday to say congratulations. President Bush according to White House spokesman Scott McClellan, welcomed Alexander to the GOP and wished him well.
"Alexander's about-face came about in two days, but had really been in the works for two years. After announcing his new affiliation Friday afternoon, Alexander said he had been struggling with his conservative votes for his entire term � backing the Bush tax cuts as well as the war in Iraq � and noted they had brought him criticism from Democrats.
"'I just decided it would be best for me to switch parties, that I would be more effective in the 5th District in the state of Louisiana as a Republican,' he said.
"In March, Alexander found himself under such intense pressure that he had to publicly announce he would remain a Democrat. Yet, he skipped last month's National Convention in Boston.
"On Wednesday, Alexander registered at the start of qualifying for the 5th District race as a Democrat. Friday afternoon, the last day of qualifying for the Nov. 2 ballot, he made his switch, leaving Democrats no time to enter a strong candidate in the race."
Damn, that's some Machiavelli-sneaky shit right there. That's downright Cajun. Especially considering Louisisana is a swing state, but will more likely go for Bush (if it doesn't, Alexander is royally fucked when payback comes) than Kerry and trends Republican. And, of course, you just know the Congressional Republicans have a cornucopia of campaign cash, PAC cash and special lucrative committee assignments for his district, "face time" with POTUS, and such booty as to boggle the imagination to bestow to this Prince. It was a shrewd move, and I'd counsel Democrats to avoid looking like punks and just move on, no use crying over spilt milk.
Check, Karl Rove; checkmate ... to be determined at a later date.
This dude, Rep. Rodney Alexander, is so devilishly calm, so sneaky, so silent as he did it, so interesting, that I am fascinated by what logistics went on behind the scenes that caused him to switch parties and take such a gamble at a time when, quite frankly, anything can happen and it usually does.
In these partisan days, where all collegial comeraderie and sense of compromise has gone the Way of the Dodo, I'd thought I'd seen everything -- everything! -- and here comes Rodney Alexander, who schools me but good on Politicking 101. I didn't even see this one coming, I don't think anyone did, not even the political junkies at TheHill.com, and certainly not the "plugged in" cats on CNN's Inside Politics, or Chris Matthews' Hard Ball.
Old Rod just gave us all a lesson in the political snooker, and how an unassuming Congressman can steal the weekend. Who knew he had game like that? He and Alan Keyes are the players of the week the AP reports:
"In 48 hours, Rep. Rodney Alexander went from Democrat to Republican, friend to foe � or foe to friend, depending on your political persuasion.
"Democrats reacted to the news by calling the first-term congressman a turncoat and a coward. They must now gain another seat, 12 in all, to win back the House this fall. The count today: Democrats 205, Republicans 229. "A new ally, on the other hand, rang him up Friday to say congratulations. President Bush according to White House spokesman Scott McClellan, welcomed Alexander to the GOP and wished him well.
"Alexander's about-face came about in two days, but had really been in the works for two years. After announcing his new affiliation Friday afternoon, Alexander said he had been struggling with his conservative votes for his entire term � backing the Bush tax cuts as well as the war in Iraq � and noted they had brought him criticism from Democrats.
"'I just decided it would be best for me to switch parties, that I would be more effective in the 5th District in the state of Louisiana as a Republican,' he said.
"In March, Alexander found himself under such intense pressure that he had to publicly announce he would remain a Democrat. Yet, he skipped last month's National Convention in Boston.
"On Wednesday, Alexander registered at the start of qualifying for the 5th District race as a Democrat. Friday afternoon, the last day of qualifying for the Nov. 2 ballot, he made his switch, leaving Democrats no time to enter a strong candidate in the race."
Damn, that's some Machiavelli-sneaky shit right there. That's downright Cajun. Especially considering Louisisana is a swing state, but will more likely go for Bush (if it doesn't, Alexander is royally fucked when payback comes) than Kerry and trends Republican. And, of course, you just know the Congressional Republicans have a cornucopia of campaign cash, PAC cash and special lucrative committee assignments for his district, "face time" with POTUS, and such booty as to boggle the imagination to bestow to this Prince. It was a shrewd move, and I'd counsel Democrats to avoid looking like punks and just move on, no use crying over spilt milk.
Check, Karl Rove; checkmate ... to be determined at a later date.
Who Is the Queen of The Blogosphere?
Those Brits are always starting trouble, fucking always: first it was taxation without representation, then the lethally unfunny Benny Hill, which spawned a generation of molesters, and now ... this: a 3 page London Independent article on Stephanie Klein. Frankly, I like Stephanies blog, and I'm glad she's getting the international attention, and, by virtue of that, all of us bloggers trapped in this New York clusterfuck.
Stephanie, if you don't frequent her blog, is the witty cutie who was once asked out by Chris "Mr. Big" Noth. The Independent took to calling her"Manhattan's weblog internet queen," which, in turn, you can imagine, set off some blogosphere controversy, the likes of which we haven't seen since the Krucoff vs. Lockhart Steele Wars.
Felix at MemeFirst weighs in:
"First: weblog internet queen? As opposed to, oh, weblog cuneiform tablet queen? More to the point, the entries are unreadable, even for someone who lives here: I can't imagine a UK reader caring about them in the slightest.
"Still, the Independent does raise an interesting question: who is the weblog internet queen of Manhattan? Back in October, I announced that 'the true queen of the blogosphere' was Jen Chung ... Widening the competition to include the likes of Maccers and Eurotrash, who would you nominate?"
The excellent Nichelle responded, justly, bringing up some names we are familiar with, and some new to us:
"Hey, what about me? or Lindsayism? the Real Janelle? Culture Kitchen? LustyLady? AlexisT? Brazilian Muse? Sweet Blog O'Mine? Standard Deviance? Ultragrrl? Hottpants?"
To which I'd like to add to the list SocialiteLife's Miu Von Furstenberg, and La Depressionada.
Have I missed any? I'm sure I have. I'm writing this hung over on a Saturday morning. Who do you think gets the Internet Queen of Manhattan? If we go beyond Manhattan, why not OldHag and Sarah Weinman (Is Sarah a Manhattanite? I don't know; I do know, however, that she got her Master's at John Jay, but she occupies a sort of sexy and spaceless "all crime all the time"frame in her blog, so I'm not sure)?
(And why is this only Manhattan? Is this some British plot to separate the boroughs and reclaim her colonies? Fuck if I know, people. I'd just ask: Who is the Queen of the Internet).
And when Is Lindsay going to allow us to comment back on her blog? I guess when people behave. Damn, I miss the to-and-fro on that blog with comments.
Those Brits are always starting trouble, fucking always: first it was taxation without representation, then the lethally unfunny Benny Hill, which spawned a generation of molesters, and now ... this: a 3 page London Independent article on Stephanie Klein. Frankly, I like Stephanies blog, and I'm glad she's getting the international attention, and, by virtue of that, all of us bloggers trapped in this New York clusterfuck.
Stephanie, if you don't frequent her blog, is the witty cutie who was once asked out by Chris "Mr. Big" Noth. The Independent took to calling her"Manhattan's weblog internet queen," which, in turn, you can imagine, set off some blogosphere controversy, the likes of which we haven't seen since the Krucoff vs. Lockhart Steele Wars.
Felix at MemeFirst weighs in:
"First: weblog internet queen? As opposed to, oh, weblog cuneiform tablet queen? More to the point, the entries are unreadable, even for someone who lives here: I can't imagine a UK reader caring about them in the slightest.
"Still, the Independent does raise an interesting question: who is the weblog internet queen of Manhattan? Back in October, I announced that 'the true queen of the blogosphere' was Jen Chung ... Widening the competition to include the likes of Maccers and Eurotrash, who would you nominate?"
The excellent Nichelle responded, justly, bringing up some names we are familiar with, and some new to us:
"Hey, what about me? or Lindsayism? the Real Janelle? Culture Kitchen? LustyLady? AlexisT? Brazilian Muse? Sweet Blog O'Mine? Standard Deviance? Ultragrrl? Hottpants?"
To which I'd like to add to the list SocialiteLife's Miu Von Furstenberg, and La Depressionada.
Have I missed any? I'm sure I have. I'm writing this hung over on a Saturday morning. Who do you think gets the Internet Queen of Manhattan? If we go beyond Manhattan, why not OldHag and Sarah Weinman (Is Sarah a Manhattanite? I don't know; I do know, however, that she got her Master's at John Jay, but she occupies a sort of sexy and spaceless "all crime all the time"frame in her blog, so I'm not sure)?
(And why is this only Manhattan? Is this some British plot to separate the boroughs and reclaim her colonies? Fuck if I know, people. I'd just ask: Who is the Queen of the Internet).
And when Is Lindsay going to allow us to comment back on her blog? I guess when people behave. Damn, I miss the to-and-fro on that blog with comments.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Happy Birthday to two of our favorite bloggers, OldHag and Uncle Grambo, Leo's both. May they keep going on informing and amusing us for as long as "this thing of ours" drives us.
Out: Dale Peck, the man we love to hate. The man who survived a brutal bitchslap attack from Stanley Crouch is interviewed in Gothamist. So best.
In: Croatia, but, you probably already knew that. According to Fashionweekdaily:
"Jessica Shaw, in her 'Shaw Report' for this week�s Entertainment Weekly, declared vacationing in Croatia as 'in.' What a coincidence, as Lauren Davis, the J. Mendel public relations director, sent The Daily a postcard this week from her trip abroad:
'Dear Daily,
'I am in Croatia! It sounds like a bad joke but it�s true! I am here for some good ol� fashion Eastern-European fun�they say it is the new St. Tropez, you know! In all seriousness, it is a marvelous place. [My boyfriend] and I came here on a boat last summer and are doing the same trip again. We�re starting in Dubrovnick and ending in Venice.'"
Out: Theft. Sticky fingered vulgarians robbed both Al Gore, our former Vice President, and Paris Hilton this week. One imagines Dominick Dunne is in hot pursuit, Mont Blanc at the ready, Jermyn Street tailored shirt rustling.
According to the Page Sixers, re: Gore:
"Al Gore � for the first time since he was elected v.p. in 1992 � decided to do without security on a vacation in Italy. Bad move. 'The Gores were robbed while staying in a luxurious villa in Castellina,' a Tuscan source told the London Spy column in the Daily Telegraph. 'One of the neighbors went in to sympathize, and Al told him that the thieves had taken about $35,000 worth of valuables.' Gore purportedly was kicking himself for leaving his bodyguards behind."
The AP, like via Defamer, said this re: Paris:
"Police confirmed Friday they were investigating a burglary at the Hollywood Hills home of Paris and Nicky Hilton.
"Someone broke into the house Wednesday night, but detectives haven't identified a suspect, Officer Esther Reyes said. She wouldn't comment on what was stolen, citing the ongoing investigation.
"Us Weekly magazine quoted an unnamed Hilton family member, who said the burglar took off with hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash, jewelry and personal items.
"Another unnamed source told the magazine that a laptop computer, several designer purses, video tapes and photographs of Paris Hilton ... with ex-boyfriend Nick Carter were also taken.
"Paris Hilton's publicist, Gina Hoffman, confirmed the burglary but had no further comment."
In: Rick James. (This Rick James Dead Link via the most excellent Tom from The Media Drop). In Memoriam, Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Story (Corsair blog link)
While Rick James is probably asking Saint Peter --as we "speak" -- questions, like: What did the two angel wings say to the face? Or, Does Heaven, by virtue of being Heaven, contain the "Stickiest" of the "Ickiest, " or saying, upon watching someone being denied entry into Heaven -- "Cold Blooded"! We will miss the original superfreak, as a source of fun and the fragility of life (okay, that was a bit pretentious, forgive me). Rick James, RIP
Out: Caroline McAteer, the publicist for embattled celebs Posh Spice and David "Bend It Like" Bekham, and her former clients, out: all. According to the 3AM Girls, the Beckham Titanic is sinking:
"VICTORIA Beckham has jettisoned a major cog in the First Family's 'truth' machine - their publicist Caroline McAteer.
"After years of 'spinning' to protect their image, it is all over for the ruthless, bubble-haired flunky who has been given the boot by the increasingly desperate duo."
And in a surprising brutal Op Ed in the New York Times today.
As you can see, very slow news week. I gave it my all, though.
In: Happy Birthday to two of our favorite bloggers, OldHag and Uncle Grambo, Leo's both. May they keep going on informing and amusing us for as long as "this thing of ours" drives us.
Out: Dale Peck, the man we love to hate. The man who survived a brutal bitchslap attack from Stanley Crouch is interviewed in Gothamist. So best.
In: Croatia, but, you probably already knew that. According to Fashionweekdaily:
"Jessica Shaw, in her 'Shaw Report' for this week�s Entertainment Weekly, declared vacationing in Croatia as 'in.' What a coincidence, as Lauren Davis, the J. Mendel public relations director, sent The Daily a postcard this week from her trip abroad:
'Dear Daily,
'I am in Croatia! It sounds like a bad joke but it�s true! I am here for some good ol� fashion Eastern-European fun�they say it is the new St. Tropez, you know! In all seriousness, it is a marvelous place. [My boyfriend] and I came here on a boat last summer and are doing the same trip again. We�re starting in Dubrovnick and ending in Venice.'"
Out: Theft. Sticky fingered vulgarians robbed both Al Gore, our former Vice President, and Paris Hilton this week. One imagines Dominick Dunne is in hot pursuit, Mont Blanc at the ready, Jermyn Street tailored shirt rustling.
According to the Page Sixers, re: Gore:
"Al Gore � for the first time since he was elected v.p. in 1992 � decided to do without security on a vacation in Italy. Bad move. 'The Gores were robbed while staying in a luxurious villa in Castellina,' a Tuscan source told the London Spy column in the Daily Telegraph. 'One of the neighbors went in to sympathize, and Al told him that the thieves had taken about $35,000 worth of valuables.' Gore purportedly was kicking himself for leaving his bodyguards behind."
The AP, like via Defamer, said this re: Paris:
"Police confirmed Friday they were investigating a burglary at the Hollywood Hills home of Paris and Nicky Hilton.
"Someone broke into the house Wednesday night, but detectives haven't identified a suspect, Officer Esther Reyes said. She wouldn't comment on what was stolen, citing the ongoing investigation.
"Us Weekly magazine quoted an unnamed Hilton family member, who said the burglar took off with hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash, jewelry and personal items.
"Another unnamed source told the magazine that a laptop computer, several designer purses, video tapes and photographs of Paris Hilton ... with ex-boyfriend Nick Carter were also taken.
"Paris Hilton's publicist, Gina Hoffman, confirmed the burglary but had no further comment."
In: Rick James. (This Rick James Dead Link via the most excellent Tom from The Media Drop). In Memoriam, Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Story (Corsair blog link)
While Rick James is probably asking Saint Peter --as we "speak" -- questions, like: What did the two angel wings say to the face? Or, Does Heaven, by virtue of being Heaven, contain the "Stickiest" of the "Ickiest, " or saying, upon watching someone being denied entry into Heaven -- "Cold Blooded"! We will miss the original superfreak, as a source of fun and the fragility of life (okay, that was a bit pretentious, forgive me). Rick James, RIP
Out: Caroline McAteer, the publicist for embattled celebs Posh Spice and David "Bend It Like" Bekham, and her former clients, out: all. According to the 3AM Girls, the Beckham Titanic is sinking:
"VICTORIA Beckham has jettisoned a major cog in the First Family's 'truth' machine - their publicist Caroline McAteer.
"After years of 'spinning' to protect their image, it is all over for the ruthless, bubble-haired flunky who has been given the boot by the increasingly desperate duo."
And in a surprising brutal Op Ed in the New York Times today.
As you can see, very slow news week. I gave it my all, though.
The New "Urban" Tom Cruise (TM)
Tom Cruise has unmistakably emerged from the crysalis of his messy break up with Nicole Kidman and the public reassessment of the A-List in an "urban" mode.
I'd like to take full credit for describing Tom's reincarnation as Urban, but it was the Opening venue of "Collateral" at the Urban Film Festival -- a move that had Tom's calculating fingerprints all over it -- that helped me decide on the term.
Now everyone's running with it.
Canada's Globe and Mail yesterday:
"They define two ways of being in the urban jungle. With his grey silk suit to match his hair, Vincent suggests a silver fox (the predator image is underscored when a coyote, eyes flaring briefly, crosses in front of the taxi). Max, with his rabbitty overbite, dark clothes and old-fashioned glasses, chooses camouflage and avoidance."
Canada's National Post:
"Like Mann's Heat, which was also set in Los Angeles, Collateral viscerally captures a certain urban dichotomy: the veneer of gauzy glamour covering the city's dangerous underbelly. The sun is going down, smothering everything in a smoggy, orange haze. Cars lazily navigate the streets of downtown L.A. as The Roots' The Seed 2.0 plays in the background. But something darker is going on underneath, and Mann understands and conveys those discordant rhythms. "
They get the idea, but they miss the point: yes, the film is urban, but, more importantly, so is Tom, which is a long way from being Maverick in Top Gun, or the best bartender in the world in Cocktail, or Born on The Fourt of July. Tom is moving away from the All-American perfect guy and into a darker more postmodern multiethnic space. Could you imagine Tom, 5 years ago, under Pat Kingsley, interviewing Jada Pinkett-Smith for Interview Magazine? Or taking a subordinate bad guy role under Jamie Foxx? Me neither.
Guys, that's the story.
And, just remember, you hear it here first.
Tom Cruise has unmistakably emerged from the crysalis of his messy break up with Nicole Kidman and the public reassessment of the A-List in an "urban" mode.
I'd like to take full credit for describing Tom's reincarnation as Urban, but it was the Opening venue of "Collateral" at the Urban Film Festival -- a move that had Tom's calculating fingerprints all over it -- that helped me decide on the term.
Now everyone's running with it.
Canada's Globe and Mail yesterday:
"They define two ways of being in the urban jungle. With his grey silk suit to match his hair, Vincent suggests a silver fox (the predator image is underscored when a coyote, eyes flaring briefly, crosses in front of the taxi). Max, with his rabbitty overbite, dark clothes and old-fashioned glasses, chooses camouflage and avoidance."
Canada's National Post:
"Like Mann's Heat, which was also set in Los Angeles, Collateral viscerally captures a certain urban dichotomy: the veneer of gauzy glamour covering the city's dangerous underbelly. The sun is going down, smothering everything in a smoggy, orange haze. Cars lazily navigate the streets of downtown L.A. as The Roots' The Seed 2.0 plays in the background. But something darker is going on underneath, and Mann understands and conveys those discordant rhythms. "
They get the idea, but they miss the point: yes, the film is urban, but, more importantly, so is Tom, which is a long way from being Maverick in Top Gun, or the best bartender in the world in Cocktail, or Born on The Fourt of July. Tom is moving away from the All-American perfect guy and into a darker more postmodern multiethnic space. Could you imagine Tom, 5 years ago, under Pat Kingsley, interviewing Jada Pinkett-Smith for Interview Magazine? Or taking a subordinate bad guy role under Jamie Foxx? Me neither.
Guys, that's the story.
And, just remember, you hear it here first.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Kimora Simmons' Life & Style
I, for one, cannot wait to see Kimora Simmons' new show Life & Style: I know what you are thinking to yourself, 'No, Ron didn't just compliment Kimora, no, he didn't.
But, yes, I did; but it is, of course, a backhanded compliment"look out"), and not, to be sure, the reason that one might think that I may wish to see Kimora in action on tv. You see, The Corsair likes to watch a natural disaster every now and again, where, all in all, no one dies, or is even hurt.
This is cathartic, restorative, medicinal even. And, thusly, Fashionweekdaily piqued our (The Corsair makes ironic quotation marks out of thin air with his fingers) "Kimora curiosity" -- shall we say, about her new View-like show, which sounds, quite frankly, like The Poseidon Adventure (... and guess who plays the Rosemary Clooney character?):
"The quartet, made up of Kimora Lee Simmons, Jules Asner, Cynthia Garrett, and Lynne Koplitz, hope to become the 'it' show for women with compelling fashion, celebrity, relationship, and lifestyle content. Asner serves as the show�s 'Meredith Viera' while Cynthia Garrett is more 'Star Jones' (Ed Note: Eeeeww)� you can see an air of annoyance, for example, come over her because of the amateur behavior of her co-host, 'Speak English bi-otch,' she finally yelled at Simmons. Adding to the delicious cattiness, Koplitz told Simmons to 'act like a lady' because of her constant fighting.
"Simmons, wearing an overload of diamonds for daytime, brought her Baby Phat entourage with her, 'Why are you wearing sunglasses?' she asked one of her employees. The answer unimportant, she moved on, 'I wore eyeglasses yesterday to court but I didn�t tell anybody they were prescription.' She did keep it real however, by wearing Baby Phat jeans for the show. Simmons does provide much comic relief in edited segments of her trying to bargain shop�with coupons! Her assignment was to shop for a family of four for under $100. She spent $96 and bought a flat iron for her hair."
Oh, it's on like Gray Poupon, people, from now until the debut, that's my mantra; we are so there; TiVo's set for stun.
I, for one, cannot wait to see Kimora Simmons' new show Life & Style: I know what you are thinking to yourself, 'No, Ron didn't just compliment Kimora, no, he didn't.
But, yes, I did; but it is, of course, a backhanded compliment"look out"), and not, to be sure, the reason that one might think that I may wish to see Kimora in action on tv. You see, The Corsair likes to watch a natural disaster every now and again, where, all in all, no one dies, or is even hurt.
This is cathartic, restorative, medicinal even. And, thusly, Fashionweekdaily piqued our (The Corsair makes ironic quotation marks out of thin air with his fingers) "Kimora curiosity" -- shall we say, about her new View-like show, which sounds, quite frankly, like The Poseidon Adventure (... and guess who plays the Rosemary Clooney character?):
"The quartet, made up of Kimora Lee Simmons, Jules Asner, Cynthia Garrett, and Lynne Koplitz, hope to become the 'it' show for women with compelling fashion, celebrity, relationship, and lifestyle content. Asner serves as the show�s 'Meredith Viera' while Cynthia Garrett is more 'Star Jones' (Ed Note: Eeeeww)� you can see an air of annoyance, for example, come over her because of the amateur behavior of her co-host, 'Speak English bi-otch,' she finally yelled at Simmons. Adding to the delicious cattiness, Koplitz told Simmons to 'act like a lady' because of her constant fighting.
"Simmons, wearing an overload of diamonds for daytime, brought her Baby Phat entourage with her, 'Why are you wearing sunglasses?' she asked one of her employees. The answer unimportant, she moved on, 'I wore eyeglasses yesterday to court but I didn�t tell anybody they were prescription.' She did keep it real however, by wearing Baby Phat jeans for the show. Simmons does provide much comic relief in edited segments of her trying to bargain shop�with coupons! Her assignment was to shop for a family of four for under $100. She spent $96 and bought a flat iron for her hair."
Oh, it's on like Gray Poupon, people, from now until the debut, that's my mantra; we are so there; TiVo's set for stun.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
That Very Special Diffrnt Strokes Episode
Do you remember that "Very Special Differnt Strokes" espisode that gave us this iconic image of "TV with a message"? Assad Kelada did himself proud. I was just thinking about this episode the other day, and how naive and funny it was, but, at the time, it was a big deal. I think the cast came out at the end to start a "dialogue" on the issue of child molestation.
The gang at Jump The Shark put it all in perspective, caring more about the names and pop cultural references than the "specialness" of the episode:
"... the appearance of Gordon Jump (a.k.a. Mr. Malone on Growing Pains) was creepy. remember he was that scary pettafile (sic-- Ed Note: This is a very creative spelling of that word). He made arnold and dudley play 'jungle adventure' and watch porno's while he snapped pictures."
And:
"Kudos to the last entry regarding Mr. Carlson's (Gordon Jump) molestation of Gary Coleman (Arnold) and Shavar Ross (Dudley). That single episode may have been the most famous 'very special episode' to ever appear on TV. Mr. Carlson was a bicycle shop owner who made Arnold and Dudley drink wine and watch dirty mice cartoons and play 'Jungle Adventure.' Arnold wised up and decided to leave - Dudley made fun of Arnold for leaving, but it would be Dudley who had egg on his face when Mr. Carlson touched Dudley where he 'didn't want to be touched' The worst performance by an actor to ever appear in a single television episode award had to go to Lee Tari (Dudley's father) (he ironically also appeared on the shark jumping/Very Special Episode of 'What's Happening Now' as Doctor Blood a retired gang-banger who became an unassuming plumber) who showed about as much emotion as an iceberg after finding out that the owner of WKRP/Maytag Repairman tried to have sex with his son. After this episode it was many more very special episodes for DS (Kimberly & Arnold are kidnapped by a photographer; Sam gets kidnapped buying potato chips) and all downhill. "
All the posters seemed to remember that the game the molester proposed was called "Jungle Adventure," which is kind of odd when you think that that's what we all came away with after all that self-important writing. Oh yeah, Shavar Ross, who played Dudley is now a born again Christian, like Willie Ames, who so ably played Buddy Lembeck on Charles in Charge (and Scott Baio's sleazy pal in Zapped), but now makes straight-to-video religious shorts in Kansas. Shavar even has his own church. I guess you kind of have to turn to Jesus in a big way once you've had people kissing your ass in LA before you hit puberty and then you are a has-been once your voice breaks. Either Jesus or drug addiction.
(Ed Note: No posts tommorrow, due to work commitments)
Do you remember that "Very Special Differnt Strokes" espisode that gave us this iconic image of "TV with a message"? Assad Kelada did himself proud. I was just thinking about this episode the other day, and how naive and funny it was, but, at the time, it was a big deal. I think the cast came out at the end to start a "dialogue" on the issue of child molestation.
The gang at Jump The Shark put it all in perspective, caring more about the names and pop cultural references than the "specialness" of the episode:
"... the appearance of Gordon Jump (a.k.a. Mr. Malone on Growing Pains) was creepy. remember he was that scary pettafile (sic-- Ed Note: This is a very creative spelling of that word). He made arnold and dudley play 'jungle adventure' and watch porno's while he snapped pictures."
And:
"Kudos to the last entry regarding Mr. Carlson's (Gordon Jump) molestation of Gary Coleman (Arnold) and Shavar Ross (Dudley). That single episode may have been the most famous 'very special episode' to ever appear on TV. Mr. Carlson was a bicycle shop owner who made Arnold and Dudley drink wine and watch dirty mice cartoons and play 'Jungle Adventure.' Arnold wised up and decided to leave - Dudley made fun of Arnold for leaving, but it would be Dudley who had egg on his face when Mr. Carlson touched Dudley where he 'didn't want to be touched' The worst performance by an actor to ever appear in a single television episode award had to go to Lee Tari (Dudley's father) (he ironically also appeared on the shark jumping/Very Special Episode of 'What's Happening Now' as Doctor Blood a retired gang-banger who became an unassuming plumber) who showed about as much emotion as an iceberg after finding out that the owner of WKRP/Maytag Repairman tried to have sex with his son. After this episode it was many more very special episodes for DS (Kimberly & Arnold are kidnapped by a photographer; Sam gets kidnapped buying potato chips) and all downhill. "
All the posters seemed to remember that the game the molester proposed was called "Jungle Adventure," which is kind of odd when you think that that's what we all came away with after all that self-important writing. Oh yeah, Shavar Ross, who played Dudley is now a born again Christian, like Willie Ames, who so ably played Buddy Lembeck on Charles in Charge (and Scott Baio's sleazy pal in Zapped), but now makes straight-to-video religious shorts in Kansas. Shavar even has his own church. I guess you kind of have to turn to Jesus in a big way once you've had people kissing your ass in LA before you hit puberty and then you are a has-been once your voice breaks. Either Jesus or drug addiction.
(Ed Note: No posts tommorrow, due to work commitments)
James St. James Interviews Michael Alig
Gawker -- God bless you, Choire, for finding something hot in this slow news week -- turns our attention to this interview on World of Wonder between James St. James and convicted murderer/club kid Michael Alig. Hilarity ensues. It's just like old times:
"James: Well, the last time I talked to you, you had protection from someone, from some prison gang or something, and there was some crazy black guy banging on your cell trying to get your stuff.
"Michael: That was the last time you talked to me?!
"James: Yeah. It�s been like two months.
"Michael: Oh my gosh, that was just after I got here to this facility!
"James: And you were telling me how much you loved it. Tell me again how much you love it.
"Michael: Well (laughs), not any more.
"James: You were saying it was like the Roxy, that everyone walks around with their shirts off.
"Michael: Well, yeah, it is like that. We get a choice to go to the gym or the yard every night � or the field house as they call it. It�s like this big auditorium, like the size of the Roxy dancefloor.
"James: And there�s music and stuff?
"Michael: Well, they�ve got those huge video screens, like the kind that are like�
"James: ...the Palladium ones?
"Michael: Exactly. There are three of them and they each play a different kind of music: one is disco, one is rock, and one is rap.
"James: High-energy dance music in prison, yay!"
High energy dance music indeed. James St. James later delivers what can only be construed as the Most Surreal Line (one, incidentally, that could just as easily been filched from a Bob Dylan song) when he asks, "Do you really NEED somebody to say I love you at the dinner table, when you're dining with murderers and thieves?"
Gawker -- God bless you, Choire, for finding something hot in this slow news week -- turns our attention to this interview on World of Wonder between James St. James and convicted murderer/club kid Michael Alig. Hilarity ensues. It's just like old times:
"James: Well, the last time I talked to you, you had protection from someone, from some prison gang or something, and there was some crazy black guy banging on your cell trying to get your stuff.
"Michael: That was the last time you talked to me?!
"James: Yeah. It�s been like two months.
"Michael: Oh my gosh, that was just after I got here to this facility!
"James: And you were telling me how much you loved it. Tell me again how much you love it.
"Michael: Well (laughs), not any more.
"James: You were saying it was like the Roxy, that everyone walks around with their shirts off.
"Michael: Well, yeah, it is like that. We get a choice to go to the gym or the yard every night � or the field house as they call it. It�s like this big auditorium, like the size of the Roxy dancefloor.
"James: And there�s music and stuff?
"Michael: Well, they�ve got those huge video screens, like the kind that are like�
"James: ...the Palladium ones?
"Michael: Exactly. There are three of them and they each play a different kind of music: one is disco, one is rock, and one is rap.
"James: High-energy dance music in prison, yay!"
High energy dance music indeed. James St. James later delivers what can only be construed as the Most Surreal Line (one, incidentally, that could just as easily been filched from a Bob Dylan song) when he asks, "Do you really NEED somebody to say I love you at the dinner table, when you're dining with murderers and thieves?"
Alan Keyes Versus Barack Obama?
According to The AP (link via Matt Drudge) the GOP is considering running Alan Keyes against Barack Obama:
"With the general election less than three months away, former presidential hopeful Alan Keyes says he needs a few days to decide whether he wants to accept the Illinois GOP's offer to be its Senate candidate.
"Keyes, a Maryland resident, told Republican leaders who offered him the nomination Wednesday night that he would make his decision known Sunday. Under the law, Keyes would have to live in Illinois only by Election Day.
Asked how he felt about making a Senate run from a state he had never lived in, he responded: 'As a matter of principle, I don't think it's a good idea.'
"'It has to be something where I would be convinced it's not only consonant with federalism as I understand it but that it's in the best interest of the state and of the nation,' Keyes said.
"If he enters the race, Keyes will be stepping into the national spotlight with another Harvard-educated, polished debater � Democratic rising star Barack Obama � and setting up the first Senate election with two black candidates representing the major parties."
The debate between Keyes, a Straussian who studied under Allan Bloom, and Barack, a professor at the University of Chicago Law School would be magnificent.
According to The AP (link via Matt Drudge) the GOP is considering running Alan Keyes against Barack Obama:
"With the general election less than three months away, former presidential hopeful Alan Keyes says he needs a few days to decide whether he wants to accept the Illinois GOP's offer to be its Senate candidate.
"Keyes, a Maryland resident, told Republican leaders who offered him the nomination Wednesday night that he would make his decision known Sunday. Under the law, Keyes would have to live in Illinois only by Election Day.
Asked how he felt about making a Senate run from a state he had never lived in, he responded: 'As a matter of principle, I don't think it's a good idea.'
"'It has to be something where I would be convinced it's not only consonant with federalism as I understand it but that it's in the best interest of the state and of the nation,' Keyes said.
"If he enters the race, Keyes will be stepping into the national spotlight with another Harvard-educated, polished debater � Democratic rising star Barack Obama � and setting up the first Senate election with two black candidates representing the major parties."
The debate between Keyes, a Straussian who studied under Allan Bloom, and Barack, a professor at the University of Chicago Law School would be magnificent.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Borat. Ali G's hapless Kazakstanian television reporter revealed just last week what we all know that Arizona redneck's in dive bars think about Jewish people. Irony is like kryptonite to a hick.
Out: Brittany Murphy, Singer. We still say that this actress with those big crazy eyes is going to end up in the mugshot section of Smokinggun.com. Soon. Actually, she's trying to get an album released a la Minnie Driver, as she tells that significant cultural artifact, The Star:
"Star: You sing in the movie. Do you want to do an album?
"Brittany Murphy: Yes. I've already started. It's sort of a hybrid of hip-hop and jazz. I want it to be something timeless that my grandchildren can listen to."
Hip hop and Jazz and Brittney Murphy: Priceless.
In: In Joyce Wadler's Boldface column:
"BENJI, on tour for her soon-to-be-released movie 'Benji: Off the Leash,' has suffered complications after surgery at the Eye Care for Animals clinic in Wheeling, Ill.
Benji's spokeswoman, MELANIE FRENKEL, said the dog had had 'a severe allergic reaction to medication,' and suffered a blood clot behind the retina. 'B: O.T.L.'' is to be Benji's big comeback after a hiatus of 17 years."
Now, is this the same Benji who did those movies when I was a kid in the 70s(citizenslunchbox describes him thus, "Super-intelligent mutt; possibly a terrier mix:)? If so, this dog -- in dog years -- must be pretty old. And, follow up question, whatever happened to that Benji knock off "Here's Boomer."
Out: Gana La Verde, the new Spanish Tv Game show that plays on some crazy bad stereotypes. The AP describes it:
"A Spanish-language reality TV show is offering contestants an unusual prize: the services of immigration lawyers to guide them toward a green card for U.S. residency.
"'Gana la Verde' 'Win the Green' began airing daily last month on KRCA-TV Channel 62 in Los Angeles. Owner Liberman Broadcasting also airs the program on its San Diego, Houston and Dallas stations.
"'People say that our show is like Fear Factor, but it's different because the climax of the show involves working," production manager Adrian Vallarino told the Los Angeles Times."
Jesus, how many more bad Latino stereotypes can be thrown in to complete the overall effect? The Corsair wonders if Adrian Vallarino will have the bad taste to serve Arroz con Pollo and cerveza to the contestants in a Taco Bell Chihuahua uniform while doing Charo's "coochie coochie" dance. And what not.
In: Borat. Ali G's hapless Kazakstanian television reporter revealed just last week what we all know that Arizona redneck's in dive bars think about Jewish people. Irony is like kryptonite to a hick.
Out: Brittany Murphy, Singer. We still say that this actress with those big crazy eyes is going to end up in the mugshot section of Smokinggun.com. Soon. Actually, she's trying to get an album released a la Minnie Driver, as she tells that significant cultural artifact, The Star:
"Star: You sing in the movie. Do you want to do an album?
"Brittany Murphy: Yes. I've already started. It's sort of a hybrid of hip-hop and jazz. I want it to be something timeless that my grandchildren can listen to."
Hip hop and Jazz and Brittney Murphy: Priceless.
In: In Joyce Wadler's Boldface column:
"BENJI, on tour for her soon-to-be-released movie 'Benji: Off the Leash,' has suffered complications after surgery at the Eye Care for Animals clinic in Wheeling, Ill.
Benji's spokeswoman, MELANIE FRENKEL, said the dog had had 'a severe allergic reaction to medication,' and suffered a blood clot behind the retina. 'B: O.T.L.'' is to be Benji's big comeback after a hiatus of 17 years."
Now, is this the same Benji who did those movies when I was a kid in the 70s(citizenslunchbox describes him thus, "Super-intelligent mutt; possibly a terrier mix:)? If so, this dog -- in dog years -- must be pretty old. And, follow up question, whatever happened to that Benji knock off "Here's Boomer."
Out: Gana La Verde, the new Spanish Tv Game show that plays on some crazy bad stereotypes. The AP describes it:
"A Spanish-language reality TV show is offering contestants an unusual prize: the services of immigration lawyers to guide them toward a green card for U.S. residency.
"'Gana la Verde' 'Win the Green' began airing daily last month on KRCA-TV Channel 62 in Los Angeles. Owner Liberman Broadcasting also airs the program on its San Diego, Houston and Dallas stations.
"'People say that our show is like Fear Factor, but it's different because the climax of the show involves working," production manager Adrian Vallarino told the Los Angeles Times."
Jesus, how many more bad Latino stereotypes can be thrown in to complete the overall effect? The Corsair wonders if Adrian Vallarino will have the bad taste to serve Arroz con Pollo and cerveza to the contestants in a Taco Bell Chihuahua uniform while doing Charo's "coochie coochie" dance. And what not.
Angelina and Colin, like Mother and Son
From Premiere, September 2004:
"The Olympians role was pivotal, and Stone, who knew (Angelina) Jolie well from helping develop Beyond Borders, turned to her. The decision came down to a Manhattan meet-up with (Colin Farrell). 'At dinner the first night, it was funny,' (Oliver) Stone recalls. 'He was all over her, he was like the Irish boy -- he wasn't Alexander, he was just falling in love with her, couldn't help himself. I was thinking 'It was the right choice, because he's behaving like a baby.' And she was laughing at him, it was very funny -- she was -- older. I don't know if actors sometimes act out their desires and he wanted to be the infant to her mother ... it works.'"
From Premiere, September 2004:
"The Olympians role was pivotal, and Stone, who knew (Angelina) Jolie well from helping develop Beyond Borders, turned to her. The decision came down to a Manhattan meet-up with (Colin Farrell). 'At dinner the first night, it was funny,' (Oliver) Stone recalls. 'He was all over her, he was like the Irish boy -- he wasn't Alexander, he was just falling in love with her, couldn't help himself. I was thinking 'It was the right choice, because he's behaving like a baby.' And she was laughing at him, it was very funny -- she was -- older. I don't know if actors sometimes act out their desires and he wanted to be the infant to her mother ... it works.'"
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
An Interview With Ron Mwangaguhunga
I get "What's your story" emails all the time so:
The Controversial Ron Mwangaguhunga Interview. No-no-notorious. (I got so much hate mail the first time I published this, calling me everything from "arrogant," "snobbish," and "stuck up the asses of New York hipster bloggers." It stung, true believer, but you have to be able to take it if you can dish it out, I say. Since I am such the snarky sadist, let's see what happens now, 6 months afterwards, with some of my notes added)
I get "What's your story" emails all the time so:
The Controversial Ron Mwangaguhunga Interview. No-no-notorious. (I got so much hate mail the first time I published this, calling me everything from "arrogant," "snobbish," and "stuck up the asses of New York hipster bloggers." It stung, true believer, but you have to be able to take it if you can dish it out, I say. Since I am such the snarky sadist, let's see what happens now, 6 months afterwards, with some of my notes added)
Clinton Helps Letterman Trump Leno
According to Drudge's numbers (The Corsair covers his ears), "LETTERMAN TOPS LENO WITH HELP OF CLINTON: RARE WIN FOR LETTERMAN 5.2 RATING/12 SHARE FOR CBS TO NBC 4.7/11... LETTERMAN/CLINTON HIT 16 MAX SHARE PHILLY; 22 MAX SHARE SAN FRAN; 23 MAX MINNEAPOLIS ..."
(The Corsair uncovers his ears) Ahhh, better ...
Which is a good turn for New York, as the LA-based Jay Leno regularly trounces NY Dave. Like, all the time.
But, for a night at least, Dave had juice. The Daily News reported:
"Outside, about 200 fans waited at the W. 53rd St. entrance to the Ed Sullivan Theater hoping for a Clinton autograph.
"And they weren't disappointed.
"After the show, Clinton signed baseballs, random bits of paper, hats and even a guitar for fans."
But not before autographing a copy of his 957 page doorstopper of a book to David Letterman's 9-month old son, Harry. Awwww.
The Corsair likes the Clinton on Letterman idea much better than doing Saturday Night Live, which is sure to take some glory off the old legacy.
According to Drudge's numbers (The Corsair covers his ears), "LETTERMAN TOPS LENO WITH HELP OF CLINTON: RARE WIN FOR LETTERMAN 5.2 RATING/12 SHARE FOR CBS TO NBC 4.7/11... LETTERMAN/CLINTON HIT 16 MAX SHARE PHILLY; 22 MAX SHARE SAN FRAN; 23 MAX MINNEAPOLIS ..."
(The Corsair uncovers his ears) Ahhh, better ...
Which is a good turn for New York, as the LA-based Jay Leno regularly trounces NY Dave. Like, all the time.
But, for a night at least, Dave had juice. The Daily News reported:
"Outside, about 200 fans waited at the W. 53rd St. entrance to the Ed Sullivan Theater hoping for a Clinton autograph.
"And they weren't disappointed.
"After the show, Clinton signed baseballs, random bits of paper, hats and even a guitar for fans."
But not before autographing a copy of his 957 page doorstopper of a book to David Letterman's 9-month old son, Harry. Awwww.
The Corsair likes the Clinton on Letterman idea much better than doing Saturday Night Live, which is sure to take some glory off the old legacy.
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Jason Binn's Vida Loca. Hamptons, Upside, Ocen Drive he's livin la vida loca. The Corsair kind of likes Jason Binn, in a Platonic manner. All that media ambition, all those glossies celebrating the ambitious young urban crowd in the Blue States, the starfucking, the Beth Ostrowsky cover to get in the good graces of Howard Stern, the parties. He's sneaky!
Imagine our surprise, when Gawker.com's special Hampton's Correspondent caught The Jason in his crosshairs, like some big game hunter, as he was grazing:
"Jason Binn was out in full force, looking like a serious frump machine with his Guy Trebay-style button down shirt sloppily half-untucked. It was a weird sight, watching him gently place one hand on David Lee Roth?s shoulder (see also: NY Social Diary party pictures of August 3rd) and stare off vacantly into space as Roth mumbled sweet nothings to some young blondes.
During the dinner, I noticed a man had left the tent and was peeing in the woods. ?Jason!?? I called out. There was no response. It may have been the three mojitos talking, but I really, really, really think it was him."
Out: The LA.com Blog speculates that behind Patti Davis' tryout with ABC lie dark network ulterior motives:
"LA's own Patti Davis has had quite a life. Daughter of a president. Out and out rebel. Pictorial for Playboy. Wife of a yoga instructor. Best-seller author. And now newest correspondent for "PrimeTime Thursday"? Sources say ABC is giving Davis a tryout for a permanent gig with the show. Of course, there's also a lot of muttering among the staff there that ABC wants to score the first post-Ronnie TV interview with Nancy Reagan, and who better to help arrange it? But did NBC get there first? After all, Davis's brother, Ron Reagan Jr., has scored himself a great gig with MSNBC."
In: Jennifer and Richard Pryor. They met in the freewheeling 70s ("keep on truckin'!"), she was a petite model who had "dated" Warren Beatty (hasn't everyone in LA?) and he was the hottest comedian in the land, but with his demons. Because of those demons, Jennifer left Pryor. Now, years after the divorce, they are back together again. And now Richard, suffering from MS, is the one being taken care of by Jennifer. According to Star:
"Jennifer says that she set about turning his life around, firing all of the help and starting from scratch by bringing in a new team of doctors. She also streamlined his expenditures and created new sources of revenue in the form of specials (his most recent special, Richard Pryor: I Ain't Dead Yet, Motherf**er, ran last November on Comedy Central) and re-releases of comedy albums. And though Pryor was worth millions in his heyday, Jennifer says extravagant spending left him with a modest estate -- he has less than $1 million in cash left. 'We are not wealthy,' she says."
But, evidently, they are happy.
Out: Moby Drinks. According to Page Six:
"'We started bottling them because in a fit of naivete and hubris, we thought that Teany drinks were great and that people would love them,' he tells us. 'And we've learned through sweet and painful trial and error that the Teany Peach Berry Green Tea Cooler mixes far too well with vodka.' Moby will perform a rare deejay stint atop the roof of 60 Thompson tonight at a bash to promote the drinks. "
I love those tiny little tea leaves in tetley tea, but naivete and hubris are my favorite flavors, so I'm sticking. Am I the only one in this room who wants to punch Moby?
In:
50 Cent will make an appearance next season on The Simpson's.
According to MTV News (link via Uncle Grambo):
"In an episode titled 'Pranksta Rap,' Bart sneaks off to attend a rap concert, featuring 50, without his parents' permission. When Homer and Marge realize their son is missing, he fakes his own kidnapping to avoid punishment."
Folks, I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Comment here on on VH1's Best Week Ever Blog.
Out: Sharon Stone. According to the 3AM Girls:
"PURRING wildly to promote a movie which critics have universally panned, Sharon Stone couldn't have looked happier on the red carpet alongside Halle Berry at last night's premiere.
But behind the scenes of Catwoman it's a different story - the fur is flying between Sharon and her fellow co-stars.
"We can reveal that while Halle and cast members, including Benjamin Bratt and Lambert Wilson, are staying at the plush Dorchester Hotel, on London's Park Lane, Madame Stone has demanded to stay separately in a suite at the �1,800-a-night Claridges hotel instead.
Her decision has proved irritating to say the least, especially as the press junkets are being held at the Dorchester.
"Insiders tell us Sharon is being a true pro about her promotional duties but when she's not working she just wants her 'own space'. So, while the cast have been getting together and dining at swanky restaurants such as Nobu, the 46-year-old star has taken walks with her assistant around Knightsbridge."
The Corsair pauses for a second. He needs his "own space."
"We also hear that Sharon, who wore a 20s-style gown to the bash, has no plans to join the rest of the cast at the film's other European premieres. Which leaves them to promote the lame film, described as a 'purr-fectly ridiculous and boring cat-astrope'. One New York critic said: 'Even with Halle Berry cavorting like a third-rate dominatrix, it's as sexy as a hairball.'"
"A well-placed insider tells us: 'It's as if Sharon just wants to get the work over with so she can get back home as quickly as possible.'"
Can you blame her?
In: Jason Binn's Vida Loca. Hamptons, Upside, Ocen Drive he's livin la vida loca. The Corsair kind of likes Jason Binn, in a Platonic manner. All that media ambition, all those glossies celebrating the ambitious young urban crowd in the Blue States, the starfucking, the Beth Ostrowsky cover to get in the good graces of Howard Stern, the parties. He's sneaky!
Imagine our surprise, when Gawker.com's special Hampton's Correspondent caught The Jason in his crosshairs, like some big game hunter, as he was grazing:
"Jason Binn was out in full force, looking like a serious frump machine with his Guy Trebay-style button down shirt sloppily half-untucked. It was a weird sight, watching him gently place one hand on David Lee Roth?s shoulder (see also: NY Social Diary party pictures of August 3rd) and stare off vacantly into space as Roth mumbled sweet nothings to some young blondes.
During the dinner, I noticed a man had left the tent and was peeing in the woods. ?Jason!?? I called out. There was no response. It may have been the three mojitos talking, but I really, really, really think it was him."
Out: The LA.com Blog speculates that behind Patti Davis' tryout with ABC lie dark network ulterior motives:
"LA's own Patti Davis has had quite a life. Daughter of a president. Out and out rebel. Pictorial for Playboy. Wife of a yoga instructor. Best-seller author. And now newest correspondent for "PrimeTime Thursday"? Sources say ABC is giving Davis a tryout for a permanent gig with the show. Of course, there's also a lot of muttering among the staff there that ABC wants to score the first post-Ronnie TV interview with Nancy Reagan, and who better to help arrange it? But did NBC get there first? After all, Davis's brother, Ron Reagan Jr., has scored himself a great gig with MSNBC."
In: Jennifer and Richard Pryor. They met in the freewheeling 70s ("keep on truckin'!"), she was a petite model who had "dated" Warren Beatty (hasn't everyone in LA?) and he was the hottest comedian in the land, but with his demons. Because of those demons, Jennifer left Pryor. Now, years after the divorce, they are back together again. And now Richard, suffering from MS, is the one being taken care of by Jennifer. According to Star:
"Jennifer says that she set about turning his life around, firing all of the help and starting from scratch by bringing in a new team of doctors. She also streamlined his expenditures and created new sources of revenue in the form of specials (his most recent special, Richard Pryor: I Ain't Dead Yet, Motherf**er, ran last November on Comedy Central) and re-releases of comedy albums. And though Pryor was worth millions in his heyday, Jennifer says extravagant spending left him with a modest estate -- he has less than $1 million in cash left. 'We are not wealthy,' she says."
But, evidently, they are happy.
Out: Moby Drinks. According to Page Six:
"'We started bottling them because in a fit of naivete and hubris, we thought that Teany drinks were great and that people would love them,' he tells us. 'And we've learned through sweet and painful trial and error that the Teany Peach Berry Green Tea Cooler mixes far too well with vodka.' Moby will perform a rare deejay stint atop the roof of 60 Thompson tonight at a bash to promote the drinks. "
I love those tiny little tea leaves in tetley tea, but naivete and hubris are my favorite flavors, so I'm sticking. Am I the only one in this room who wants to punch Moby?
In:
50 Cent will make an appearance next season on The Simpson's.
According to MTV News (link via Uncle Grambo):
"In an episode titled 'Pranksta Rap,' Bart sneaks off to attend a rap concert, featuring 50, without his parents' permission. When Homer and Marge realize their son is missing, he fakes his own kidnapping to avoid punishment."
Folks, I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Comment here on on VH1's Best Week Ever Blog.
Out: Sharon Stone. According to the 3AM Girls:
"PURRING wildly to promote a movie which critics have universally panned, Sharon Stone couldn't have looked happier on the red carpet alongside Halle Berry at last night's premiere.
But behind the scenes of Catwoman it's a different story - the fur is flying between Sharon and her fellow co-stars.
"We can reveal that while Halle and cast members, including Benjamin Bratt and Lambert Wilson, are staying at the plush Dorchester Hotel, on London's Park Lane, Madame Stone has demanded to stay separately in a suite at the �1,800-a-night Claridges hotel instead.
Her decision has proved irritating to say the least, especially as the press junkets are being held at the Dorchester.
"Insiders tell us Sharon is being a true pro about her promotional duties but when she's not working she just wants her 'own space'. So, while the cast have been getting together and dining at swanky restaurants such as Nobu, the 46-year-old star has taken walks with her assistant around Knightsbridge."
The Corsair pauses for a second. He needs his "own space."
"We also hear that Sharon, who wore a 20s-style gown to the bash, has no plans to join the rest of the cast at the film's other European premieres. Which leaves them to promote the lame film, described as a 'purr-fectly ridiculous and boring cat-astrope'. One New York critic said: 'Even with Halle Berry cavorting like a third-rate dominatrix, it's as sexy as a hairball.'"
"A well-placed insider tells us: 'It's as if Sharon just wants to get the work over with so she can get back home as quickly as possible.'"
Can you blame her?
Madonna on the Rocks
Borderline ... looks like she's going to lose her mind, if he keeps on pushing her love ... over the borderline. Or something like that (The Corsair bows and graciously accepts applause) ... so kind, thank you, thank you ... thank you, so kind, so very kind.
According to that significant cultural artifact, The National Enquirer ("because Enquiring Minds want to know"), Madonna's marriage is on the borderline:
"Witnessing the obsessive devotion Madonna's fans have shown her on her tour -- while watching his own career wane -- has fueled Guy's insecurity and jealousy, the close source said."
The Corsair swiftly grabs a bag of unsalted popcorn, leaps, and, in a single bound, lands squarely on the chair in front of his computer screen.
"Guy's star has faded. His adaptation of the Italian film 'Swept Away' with Madonna as the star was a complete disaster."
The Corsair nods, sadly, rubbing his Kabbalah red string bracelet, whispering, "Swept Away was not a film, it was a cocktail commercial."
"He still has a huge ego but now when he looks in the mirror every day, he sees Mr. Madonna, rather than Guy Ritchie, filmmaker extraordinaire.
"There's no question he's completely devoted to their son Rocco and Madonna's daughter by Carlos Leon, Lourdes.
"But the simple fact is, Guy can't seem to stand that he'll always be behind Madonna in terms of success.
"'Guy is wounded and hurt so he's lashing out at Madonna, accusing her of infidelity. I think he's sabotaging their relationship.'
"As soon as Madonna kicked off her Re-Invention Tour in late May, 'Guy became agitated and in a bad mood,' said the insider.
"If he wasn't with her at all times, he was in cell phone contact."
Human, all too human. Doesn't this all sound familiar?
Borderline ... looks like she's going to lose her mind, if he keeps on pushing her love ... over the borderline. Or something like that (The Corsair bows and graciously accepts applause) ... so kind, thank you, thank you ... thank you, so kind, so very kind.
According to that significant cultural artifact, The National Enquirer ("because Enquiring Minds want to know"), Madonna's marriage is on the borderline:
"Witnessing the obsessive devotion Madonna's fans have shown her on her tour -- while watching his own career wane -- has fueled Guy's insecurity and jealousy, the close source said."
The Corsair swiftly grabs a bag of unsalted popcorn, leaps, and, in a single bound, lands squarely on the chair in front of his computer screen.
"Guy's star has faded. His adaptation of the Italian film 'Swept Away' with Madonna as the star was a complete disaster."
The Corsair nods, sadly, rubbing his Kabbalah red string bracelet, whispering, "Swept Away was not a film, it was a cocktail commercial."
"He still has a huge ego but now when he looks in the mirror every day, he sees Mr. Madonna, rather than Guy Ritchie, filmmaker extraordinaire.
"There's no question he's completely devoted to their son Rocco and Madonna's daughter by Carlos Leon, Lourdes.
"But the simple fact is, Guy can't seem to stand that he'll always be behind Madonna in terms of success.
"'Guy is wounded and hurt so he's lashing out at Madonna, accusing her of infidelity. I think he's sabotaging their relationship.'
"As soon as Madonna kicked off her Re-Invention Tour in late May, 'Guy became agitated and in a bad mood,' said the insider.
"If he wasn't with her at all times, he was in cell phone contact."
Human, all too human. Doesn't this all sound familiar?
Brando was the king of the mooners
Marlon Brando was an large personality with, I'd imagine, comparatively ample butt cheeks, as Diane Keaton, woefully, reminds us. Rush and Molloy have an intersting story today about the mingling of hollywood and cafe society, a la Brando:
"In her memoir, 'It Seemed Important at the Time,' (Gloria) Vanderbilt writes about her four marriages and assorted flings.
"After her one-night stand with Marlon Brando, he took his time calling her. When he finally reached her as she was boarding a plane back to New York from L.A., he said: 'Thank you for the tender feelings.'"
No word, though, on whether the word feelings is here used as a noun or a verb (drum roll).
Anyhoo: In the September 2004 Premiere Magazine, Robert Duvall and Diane Keaton, among others, share la recherche du temps Brando:
"Robert Duvall: He liked the cameraderie (on set), the jokes. There was a lot of cutting up to keep things loose ... (In the scene in The Godfather where) he comes from the hospital , these two grips in hospital jackets have to carry him up the steep steps. He put these heavy metal things between the mattresses in the springs, and they practically had a heart attack going up the steps. He just laughed like a kid.
"Diane Keaton: Mooning was a big item. Brando was the king of the mooners."
Yeah, yeah, it is a slow gossip week with all the celebs in Sardinia. Here's some best of to keep you cool:
What I really want to do is Executive Produce
Reba MacIntyre Calls In Sick
Former New York Times Writer Neill Strauss: Porn Boy
I, Geraldo
Academy Awards
Diane Keaton, keeping it real.
Marlon Brando was an large personality with, I'd imagine, comparatively ample butt cheeks, as Diane Keaton, woefully, reminds us. Rush and Molloy have an intersting story today about the mingling of hollywood and cafe society, a la Brando:
"In her memoir, 'It Seemed Important at the Time,' (Gloria) Vanderbilt writes about her four marriages and assorted flings.
"After her one-night stand with Marlon Brando, he took his time calling her. When he finally reached her as she was boarding a plane back to New York from L.A., he said: 'Thank you for the tender feelings.'"
No word, though, on whether the word feelings is here used as a noun or a verb (drum roll).
Anyhoo: In the September 2004 Premiere Magazine, Robert Duvall and Diane Keaton, among others, share la recherche du temps Brando:
"Robert Duvall: He liked the cameraderie (on set), the jokes. There was a lot of cutting up to keep things loose ... (In the scene in The Godfather where) he comes from the hospital , these two grips in hospital jackets have to carry him up the steep steps. He put these heavy metal things between the mattresses in the springs, and they practically had a heart attack going up the steps. He just laughed like a kid.
"Diane Keaton: Mooning was a big item. Brando was the king of the mooners."
Yeah, yeah, it is a slow gossip week with all the celebs in Sardinia. Here's some best of to keep you cool:
What I really want to do is Executive Produce
Reba MacIntyre Calls In Sick
Former New York Times Writer Neill Strauss: Porn Boy
I, Geraldo
Academy Awards
Diane Keaton, keeping it real.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
A Little of the Old In and Out
In: Crouching Stanley, Hidden Gangsta. Ta-Nehisi's explanation of Stanley Crouch's bitchslapping of milquetoast literary critic David Peck in the Village Voice is instructive as well as amusing:
"This was not a moment of hot-headed indiscretion. Crouch may use his perch at the Daily News to inveigh against gangsta rap with all deliberate fury and alarm ('Hip Hop's Thugs Hit New Low,' 'Hip Hop Gets The Bruising It Deserves,' or 'Morally, Allen Iverson's a Bad Guy'), but his habit of violent exchanges with writers and editors puts him a notch above Snoop on the ne'er-do-well scale. In most cases gangsta rap is just talk�Biggie and Tupac are the exceptions. But while Crouch has yet to peel caps, the gangsta ethos is realer for him than it is for your average gun-talker.
"'The thing is that Stanley will get gangsta on you,' says Nelson George, who worked with Crouch here at the Voice, in the 1980s. 'There is nothing more gangsta than just walking up and pimp-slapping someone. Not even punching them, just slapping them, almost as a sign of disrespect.'"
Just putting a touch of sting on the cheeks. Cupping the jawline. Brushing an errantr knave's ear with a limp backhand. A Palm extended to allow for maximum surface contact rushing, cleaving the air. Flesh-on-flesh percussion, a macabre symphony. It all sounds so cruel. Or so I'm told.
The receiver is brought low. His cheeks flush with that "homemade rouge." Most significantly" the speechless audience, who, breaking the silence, collectively utter the gutteral, "oooooohhh." Or so I'm told.
Truer words have never been spoken (The Corsair ruefully rubs his cheek, and stares with fish eyes at a picture of a smiling Stanley Crouch). And speaking of disrespect ...
Out: Now, I don't mean any disrespect by this. This is not meant to be personal. The "well-tailored suits and crisp shirts" are fine. But the Gotti hair is ... it doesn't quite ... it isn't ... uh, forget I ever mentioned it. Please.
In: David Chappelle is rich. He renewed his contract for a reported $50 million. He's rich, bitch! (My sister, the most excellent Elizabeth Mwangaguhunga, sent me that link). Comment here or on VH1's Best Blog Ever.
Out: The speculation over James Bond. According to ITV.com:
"Speculation over whether the Troy star has been officially offered the role has been hotting up over recent weeks, but that hasn't stopped bookmaker William Hill making him evens favourite to take on the super spy mantle.
"Brit actor Clive Owen has been relegated to second favourite to become the famous martini stirrer at 9/2, followed by Hugh Jackman at 11/2.
Hills then offer 6/1 Colin Farrell, 10/1 Orlando Bloom, 12/1 Jude Law, with Robbie Williams rank outsider at 100/1."
Maybe you have to be a Brit to understand this, or even contmplate betting on this, but -- who-the-fuck-cares?
In: Gawker Stalker sightings. We love the Gawker stalkers, Choires' minions, roaming the street, cell phone cams at the ready, and today is no different. The B-Listers are so much more amusing as stalker-prey than the A-Listers (this coming from a committed C-Lister himself, namely, me):
"... saw Little Stevie [Steve Van Zandt] in full gypsy scarf regalia on the roof bar of the Maritime Hotel at 12-1 on Saturday night. He was mellow, laughing with a larger guy (would he actually have security??) traversing the catwalk between the 'VIP' section (a total of 15 bored looking people were there...) toward the hopping main bar. No sign of any other E-Streeters or Sopranos people (except maybe the big guy with him), sadly. "
How about, in the case of Little Steveie, MIP, for Mildly Important Person.
Out: Paris Hilton. In the beginning Paris and her friends accused Nick Carter of her bruises. Then, for some reason, she wanted it to all just go away, after she fanned the flames. Now, she claims it was all -- teehee -- part of a photo shoot that took place days ago. Paris is out. So out. But not before Defamer gives us a tour of the odd things going on on her body.
In: The First Lady as Paragon of America's Soft Power. This is a notion I came up with a while ago, and Gina Belanfante's article on First Ladies sort of bears it out:
"Teresa Heinz Kerry has presented herself to Americans as a multilingual free spirit, a woman with a taste for a 70's-era Jacqueline Bisset coiffure and a habit of tossing a sweater over her shoulders, as if her political outings demanded no more of her than patio luncheons in Nantucket. Her gold tank watch rests loosely on her wrist; her favorable position on millennial-era cosmetic enhancements remains a matter of record. Were she to take up residence in the White House as first lady in a John Kerry administration, no one would expect her to fade into the chintz."
Out: Clinton Sex Rants from Stuffy Democrats. There is something a bit creepy at the ferocity in which stuffy Dems go after Clinton's sex life. Sure, he was a jerk, but why go after him like a rabid pit bull in an intellectual journal years after the fact? What? Hillary can forgive him but the NYRB can't?
It almost -- almost -- gives off a faint scent of resentment ("How come that bastard got away with cheating and I've been trapped for decades ..") , or, at the very least least, a profound stuffiness that is alien to educated and socially sophisticated liberals that read the NYRB. Gary Wills in the August 12, 2004 New York Review of Books huffs like a schoolmarm:
"Clinton, like his mother, is a gambler. he does not, as she did, play the ponies. He dares the lightening. He knew he had numerous hunters and trackers circling about. He knew that he already had to cope with Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones and Kathleen Willey. The young woman he was adding to the list was not likely to be discreet-- she boasted of earning her presidential knee pads, and wrangled thirty-seven entrances to The White House, and snapped her thong, and preserved the candied semen. (DNA technology is still a comparatively young discipline, but it is not likely for some time to get a stranger excercise than testing testing the effluvia of presidential fellation.)"
The exceptional vocabulary aside, the eminent New York Review of Books, home of some of the most sophisticated minds of the last half century, really came off just now sounding like the exact opposite of its subscriber base.
In: Crouching Stanley, Hidden Gangsta. Ta-Nehisi's explanation of Stanley Crouch's bitchslapping of milquetoast literary critic David Peck in the Village Voice is instructive as well as amusing:
"This was not a moment of hot-headed indiscretion. Crouch may use his perch at the Daily News to inveigh against gangsta rap with all deliberate fury and alarm ('Hip Hop's Thugs Hit New Low,' 'Hip Hop Gets The Bruising It Deserves,' or 'Morally, Allen Iverson's a Bad Guy'), but his habit of violent exchanges with writers and editors puts him a notch above Snoop on the ne'er-do-well scale. In most cases gangsta rap is just talk�Biggie and Tupac are the exceptions. But while Crouch has yet to peel caps, the gangsta ethos is realer for him than it is for your average gun-talker.
"'The thing is that Stanley will get gangsta on you,' says Nelson George, who worked with Crouch here at the Voice, in the 1980s. 'There is nothing more gangsta than just walking up and pimp-slapping someone. Not even punching them, just slapping them, almost as a sign of disrespect.'"
Just putting a touch of sting on the cheeks. Cupping the jawline. Brushing an errantr knave's ear with a limp backhand. A Palm extended to allow for maximum surface contact rushing, cleaving the air. Flesh-on-flesh percussion, a macabre symphony. It all sounds so cruel. Or so I'm told.
The receiver is brought low. His cheeks flush with that "homemade rouge." Most significantly" the speechless audience, who, breaking the silence, collectively utter the gutteral, "oooooohhh." Or so I'm told.
Truer words have never been spoken (The Corsair ruefully rubs his cheek, and stares with fish eyes at a picture of a smiling Stanley Crouch). And speaking of disrespect ...
Out: Now, I don't mean any disrespect by this. This is not meant to be personal. The "well-tailored suits and crisp shirts" are fine. But the Gotti hair is ... it doesn't quite ... it isn't ... uh, forget I ever mentioned it. Please.
In: David Chappelle is rich. He renewed his contract for a reported $50 million. He's rich, bitch! (My sister, the most excellent Elizabeth Mwangaguhunga, sent me that link). Comment here or on VH1's Best Blog Ever.
Out: The speculation over James Bond. According to ITV.com:
"Speculation over whether the Troy star has been officially offered the role has been hotting up over recent weeks, but that hasn't stopped bookmaker William Hill making him evens favourite to take on the super spy mantle.
"Brit actor Clive Owen has been relegated to second favourite to become the famous martini stirrer at 9/2, followed by Hugh Jackman at 11/2.
Hills then offer 6/1 Colin Farrell, 10/1 Orlando Bloom, 12/1 Jude Law, with Robbie Williams rank outsider at 100/1."
Maybe you have to be a Brit to understand this, or even contmplate betting on this, but -- who-the-fuck-cares?
In: Gawker Stalker sightings. We love the Gawker stalkers, Choires' minions, roaming the street, cell phone cams at the ready, and today is no different. The B-Listers are so much more amusing as stalker-prey than the A-Listers (this coming from a committed C-Lister himself, namely, me):
"... saw Little Stevie [Steve Van Zandt] in full gypsy scarf regalia on the roof bar of the Maritime Hotel at 12-1 on Saturday night. He was mellow, laughing with a larger guy (would he actually have security??) traversing the catwalk between the 'VIP' section (a total of 15 bored looking people were there...) toward the hopping main bar. No sign of any other E-Streeters or Sopranos people (except maybe the big guy with him), sadly. "
How about, in the case of Little Steveie, MIP, for Mildly Important Person.
Out: Paris Hilton. In the beginning Paris and her friends accused Nick Carter of her bruises. Then, for some reason, she wanted it to all just go away, after she fanned the flames. Now, she claims it was all -- teehee -- part of a photo shoot that took place days ago. Paris is out. So out. But not before Defamer gives us a tour of the odd things going on on her body.
In: The First Lady as Paragon of America's Soft Power. This is a notion I came up with a while ago, and Gina Belanfante's article on First Ladies sort of bears it out:
"Teresa Heinz Kerry has presented herself to Americans as a multilingual free spirit, a woman with a taste for a 70's-era Jacqueline Bisset coiffure and a habit of tossing a sweater over her shoulders, as if her political outings demanded no more of her than patio luncheons in Nantucket. Her gold tank watch rests loosely on her wrist; her favorable position on millennial-era cosmetic enhancements remains a matter of record. Were she to take up residence in the White House as first lady in a John Kerry administration, no one would expect her to fade into the chintz."
Out: Clinton Sex Rants from Stuffy Democrats. There is something a bit creepy at the ferocity in which stuffy Dems go after Clinton's sex life. Sure, he was a jerk, but why go after him like a rabid pit bull in an intellectual journal years after the fact? What? Hillary can forgive him but the NYRB can't?
It almost -- almost -- gives off a faint scent of resentment ("How come that bastard got away with cheating and I've been trapped for decades ..") , or, at the very least least, a profound stuffiness that is alien to educated and socially sophisticated liberals that read the NYRB. Gary Wills in the August 12, 2004 New York Review of Books huffs like a schoolmarm:
"Clinton, like his mother, is a gambler. he does not, as she did, play the ponies. He dares the lightening. He knew he had numerous hunters and trackers circling about. He knew that he already had to cope with Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones and Kathleen Willey. The young woman he was adding to the list was not likely to be discreet-- she boasted of earning her presidential knee pads, and wrangled thirty-seven entrances to The White House, and snapped her thong, and preserved the candied semen. (DNA technology is still a comparatively young discipline, but it is not likely for some time to get a stranger excercise than testing testing the effluvia of presidential fellation.)"
The exceptional vocabulary aside, the eminent New York Review of Books, home of some of the most sophisticated minds of the last half century, really came off just now sounding like the exact opposite of its subscriber base.
Best of Corsair
What can I say? It's deep summer -- deep deep summer-- and everyone's on vacation, it appears, except me. To top it all off, it's a slow news day.
So here are some oldies, but goodies, on the vanity of celebrity. My own little bonfire of the vanities:
Mike Tyson and Naomi Cambell
Arianna Huffington: Golddigger?
Jailhouse Pen Pals
The Charlie Rose Drinking Game
The Zenith of the 80s
Jackie, Oh!
An Open Letter to Rapper-Actors
And, I mean, like: who knows? Maybe the head writer at The Daily Show will be smitten with the writing and say -- "bring this kid on board. He's got the good stuff."
Dare to dream.
What can I say? It's deep summer -- deep deep summer-- and everyone's on vacation, it appears, except me. To top it all off, it's a slow news day.
So here are some oldies, but goodies, on the vanity of celebrity. My own little bonfire of the vanities:
Mike Tyson and Naomi Cambell
Arianna Huffington: Golddigger?
Jailhouse Pen Pals
The Charlie Rose Drinking Game
The Zenith of the 80s
Jackie, Oh!
An Open Letter to Rapper-Actors
And, I mean, like: who knows? Maybe the head writer at The Daily Show will be smitten with the writing and say -- "bring this kid on board. He's got the good stuff."
Dare to dream.
Serena Williams: Jehovah's Witness
From Aspire Magazine June/July 2004:
"Serena was brought up, and still actively pravtices as a Jehovah's Witness. She is even known to go door to door every so often.
"'It is something that all Witnesses participate in,' she explains. However, the sight of Serena turning up at the front door is understandably a shock for most people.
"'I haven't dont it for a while because I travel so much.But when I do, people usually take the literature because they know who I am -- which is a good thing. There is a big misconception about Witnesses, so hopefully I'm doing my bit to change that.'"
From Aspire Magazine June/July 2004:
"Serena was brought up, and still actively pravtices as a Jehovah's Witness. She is even known to go door to door every so often.
"'It is something that all Witnesses participate in,' she explains. However, the sight of Serena turning up at the front door is understandably a shock for most people.
"'I haven't dont it for a while because I travel so much.But when I do, people usually take the literature because they know who I am -- which is a good thing. There is a big misconception about Witnesses, so hopefully I'm doing my bit to change that.'"
The Source in the Hour of the Wolf
According to Jeff Bercovici at WWD (2nd Item):
"The news at The Source continues to be the pits. A circulation audit released Monday shows the formerly hot hip-hop title missed its rate base for the 12 months ending June 30, 2003. The Source�s average circulation of 485,817 was 0.3 percent below its average rate base for the period of 487,500. After making rate base for four of six issues in the latter half of 2002, The Source raised its circulation guarantee, to 500,000 from 475,000, causing it to miss rate base for five of the next six issues."
Raising magazine circulation guarantee in the sluggish 2002 economy? bad move.
"The magazine, which sells more than two-thirds of its copies on newsstands, overstated single-copy sales for 11 of 12 issues by an average of 4.1 percent. The Source overreported its total circulation by 1.8 percent � just shy of the 2 percent mark that triggers automatic inclusion in the Audit Bureau of Circulation�s variance report. According to the magazine�s most recent publisher�s statement, The Source did make its rate base for second-half 2003 � by a scant 253 copies, a margin of 0.05 percent. But the statement itself was filed late to ABC, often a sign of trouble. Several calls to the magazine � which reportedly faces lawsuits from a slew of creditors over nonpayment � were not returned."
According to Jeff Bercovici at WWD (2nd Item):
"The news at The Source continues to be the pits. A circulation audit released Monday shows the formerly hot hip-hop title missed its rate base for the 12 months ending June 30, 2003. The Source�s average circulation of 485,817 was 0.3 percent below its average rate base for the period of 487,500. After making rate base for four of six issues in the latter half of 2002, The Source raised its circulation guarantee, to 500,000 from 475,000, causing it to miss rate base for five of the next six issues."
Raising magazine circulation guarantee in the sluggish 2002 economy? bad move.
"The magazine, which sells more than two-thirds of its copies on newsstands, overstated single-copy sales for 11 of 12 issues by an average of 4.1 percent. The Source overreported its total circulation by 1.8 percent � just shy of the 2 percent mark that triggers automatic inclusion in the Audit Bureau of Circulation�s variance report. According to the magazine�s most recent publisher�s statement, The Source did make its rate base for second-half 2003 � by a scant 253 copies, a margin of 0.05 percent. But the statement itself was filed late to ABC, often a sign of trouble. Several calls to the magazine � which reportedly faces lawsuits from a slew of creditors over nonpayment � were not returned."
The Royal Surfer
According to Hello!Magazine:
"The Royal Family welcomed its first Maori on Saturday when Lady Davina Windsor walked down the aisle with Gary Lewis. The 26-year-old royal married the former sheep-shearer after a four-year romance.
"Davina, the daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester, met her Kiwi beau in Indonesia in 2000. The pair decided on an understated wedding at Kensington Palace, attended only by close family and friends. 'They just wanted a really low-key intimate affair,' said a royal aide.
"Gary, a keen surfer, is described as a 'renovator' by the papers in his home country. The 33-year-old originally hails from Gisborne on the east coast of New Zealand's North Island. His father was a champion sheep-shearer in the Eighties, while his mother worked as maid. The handsome builder also has an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship.
Yup, it's a slooooow day; but check out this interesting story here.
According to Hello!Magazine:
"The Royal Family welcomed its first Maori on Saturday when Lady Davina Windsor walked down the aisle with Gary Lewis. The 26-year-old royal married the former sheep-shearer after a four-year romance.
"Davina, the daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester, met her Kiwi beau in Indonesia in 2000. The pair decided on an understated wedding at Kensington Palace, attended only by close family and friends. 'They just wanted a really low-key intimate affair,' said a royal aide.
"Gary, a keen surfer, is described as a 'renovator' by the papers in his home country. The 33-year-old originally hails from Gisborne on the east coast of New Zealand's North Island. His father was a champion sheep-shearer in the Eighties, while his mother worked as maid. The handsome builder also has an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship.
Yup, it's a slooooow day; but check out this interesting story here.
Monday, August 02, 2004
The Assault Weapons Ban: Radioactive to Kerry?
Patrick O'Connor of TheHill does an admirable job in untangling the web of issues surrounding the Assault Weapons Ban, which expires September 13th, and is bound to be a campaign issue in Karl Rove's crosshairs:
"Gun-control advocates say that Sen. John Kerry�s presidential campaign is divided about how vocal the senator should be in calling for the assault-weapons ban to be renewed. Kerry�s reluctance to mention the controversial issue on the campaign trail has agitated proponents of the ban.
"Sen. John Kerry�s campaign is running television commercials showing him hunting.
"Kerry supports the ban, and, earlier this year, he changed his campaign schedule to vote for it to be extended. But some gun-control advocates say he has not done enough.
"Asked if Kerry will highlight the issue in his campaign, Blaine Rummel, a spokesman for the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence said, 'There is some shiftiness.'
Not a good sign, surely ("... and don't call me, Shirley") as this feeds into the Republican characterization of Kerry as a flip-flopper. Further, Senators have glass jaws in the Presidential gladitorial fundament -- they are "legislative compromisers," and, the longer they linger in those aristocratic Senate corridors, the longer the record.
Karl Rove knew what he was doing when he affixed the sobriquet "flip flopper." This politically lethal nickname is twofold poison: it erodes Kerry's support on the Left, by portraying him as not a stand-up guy, thus strengthening, however slightly, Nader; and, on the other hand, it weakens his efforts to gain a stronghold among moderates, who, by and large, favor mavericks like John McCain (who is the sole Senate exception as a "Senate lingerer" who is a straight talker) O'Connor continues:
"The 'issues' section of Kerry�s campaign website lists 15 topics, ranging from healthcare to homeland security to rural America. Gun matters are not listed."
"The (assault weapons) ban has been debated heavily since it was enacted in 1994 by Congress at the request of then-President Bill Clinton. In 1996, the House voted to repeal the ban, and the current House GOP leadership will not move to renew the ban without consent from the White House. Bush supports extending the ban but has not urged Congress to act."
O'Connor notes that as Dems tiptoe around this radioactive issue in an election year, Clinton toom it on front and center on Monday's Democratic Convention speech in prime time. Ever protective of his legacy, Clinton said, "As gang violence is rising and we look for terrorists in our midst, Congress and the president are also about to allow the 10-year-old ban on assault weapons to expire."
O'Connor then notes:
"In his new book, My Life, Clinton wrote that the 1994 vote to ban assault weapons came at a high political price, costing many House Democrats their seats in Congress. Gun-control advocates, who have consistently argued for years that gun control is a winning political issue, were somewhat exasperated by Clinton�s claims. The NRA has seized on Clinton�s words, highlighting them in recent newspaper ads. Clinton�s line of thinking has scared a number of congressional Democrats from the gun-control debate, Hummel said.
"The 2004 Democratic primary on guns is distinctly different from the 2000 battle between former Vice President Al Gore and former Sen. Bill Bradley (N.J.), Cox said, when both candidates made gun violence a major campaign issue. This election cycle, Kerry and former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean have attempted to reach out to voters who strongly support the Second Amendment."
While the Jim Brady campaign claims to have the votes in the Senate to extend the ban, and, "Sixty-four percent of gun-owning households and half of the NRA members polled were in favor of extending the ban, according to a recent poll conducted by the Annenberg Election Survey," it could be a potent election issue if done up right by the spinmeisters in rural swing states. This could be an especially effective strategy in the last days, where Kerry might be unable to respond to such an attack in time to make a difference.
Anyway, check out Patrick O'Connor of TheHill's thoughtful piece.
A Little of The Old In and Out
In: Sardinia, it's the new East Sussex, but not quite Croatia, at least not yet. According to Hello! Magazine:
"Oscar winner Denzel Washington took a break from promoting his latest film The Manchurian Candidate to relax in style at one of this summer's hottest celebrity locations the island of Sardinia.
"The Hollywood actor was joined by a familiar face during his boat cruise around Porto Cervo - Formula One boss Flavio Briatore. Famed for hosting his supermodel girlfriends, including Naomi Campbell and Heidi Klum, on his yacht during previous Sardinia holidays, playboy Flavio owns the nearby Billionaire Club, an exclusive hideaway open only to the cr�me de la cr�me of the jet set.
"And there is no shortage of VIPs flocking to Sardinia, as demonstrated by the roster of big names who've visited the Mediterranean paradise just this year. Footballer David Beckham and the England squad held their Euro 2004 training on the Mediterranean island, while rap mogul P Diddy sailed in for his vacation on a �15-million yacht. The elite hotspot has also seen its share of romance, with Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster spotted on a romantic holiday, and Christian Slater seen smoothing out his rocky relationship with wife Ryan Haddon with some passionate kisses."
This month, Tony Blair and his wife stayed in Sardinia with uber-sleazy media magnate cum Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, according to the Telegraph (eeewww):
"After leaving Tuscany, the Blairs are due to travel to Sardinia for a two-day stay with Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister. From there they are expected to fly to Athens for the Olympic Games."
I hope the Blair had their shots if they used any of Berlusconi's silverware. Tara Reid may be flashing her newly purchased breasts in Sardinia, which is nice. What more could you ask for?
But, where to stay, true believer? The New York Post suggests:
"A ... private spot is Cala di Volpe's sister site, the exclusive, whitewashed Hotel Pitrizza, where Harrison Ford stayed recently. Practically embedded in the jagged coast, it has a granite pool that seems to blend into the sea (from approximately $1,200; starwood.com).
"Also, check out Peter Gabriel's Li Capanni, the 20-room hotel where he got married. He opens its cottages and gardens to anyone who can afford the approximately $43,000 weekly hire charge (licapanni.com)."
Finally, PM's Unik recently told Page Six, "(he's) joining Lionel Richie in Sardinia. He'll wind up in Croatia, which he calls 'the next St.-Tropez gorgeous, cheap and still undiscovered.'"
Out: Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live? (link via Gawker) According to the AP:
"Former President Bill Clinton could be a host of 'Saturday Night Live' this season. At least, that's what the folks at NBC are hoping.
"TV Guide Online quotes anonymous sources saying that Clinton has been offered the gig if he wants it.
"A decision is expected this week."
This might not be the best way to preserve a dignified Presidential legacy. Not a good sign, if this is true, that Clinton still hasn't decided. The Corsair is not a prude in any way shape or form, and he would love to see a short Clinton SNL skit, but a President shouldn't do any extended comedy riffs beyond the White House Correspondent's Dinner -- the acceptable forum for that. Clinton is not Al Sharpton, he shouldn't be carrying the show, he should be on DL diplomatic missions to the Middle East or Central Asia.
I'm just saying, I'm kind of conservative about what a President should ideally represent. And an ex-President shouldn't be doing Nat X or "Mongo" sketches, or Chyna Doll bits.
In: Vanity Fair's Page Six Story. According to FashionWeekDaily, Vanity Fair is doing a piece on the merry band of Sixers, past and present:
"Here's an update on Frank DiGiacomos first assignment for Vanity Fair. His all-encompassing look at the Manhattan gossip world has now apparently morphed into an 'oral history' of the New York Posts Page Six. DiGiacomo, who once worked at the column himself, has been interviewing employees past and present, including, of course, the now-infamous Ian Spiegelman, who, were told, has just sold his next book, partly on the strength of all the attention hes garnered since getting axed from the paper. DiGiacomo is also talking to competitors and those who have been burned by Page Six and still feel the pain. But don?t expect any scathing revelations about Richard Johnson -- he's too powerful a figure to mess with."
Out: Matt Damon's Anxiety Baldness. Okay, maybe the FlyOnTheWall crowd is stretching for news -- lord knows I've dont that before -- but I'm fascinated by how gossipmongers make medical diagnoses on the flimsiest of paparazzi photos:
"The other day, one of the trades ran the photo below of Matt Damon fighting off an attempted liplock by George Clooney at The Bourne Supremacy premiere. The two strange bald patches in Damon's hair struck me as odd. They're not at the crown, where male pattern baldness starts, but instead down on the side a bit. Now if you saw a guy on the street with little bald spots like this, you'd think he had a bad haircut. But I can't imagine Damon gets a $3 trim at the barber school.
"So I forwarded a scan of the picture to a MD buddy and asked him what was up with Matt's locks. 'Definitely looks like some anxiety baldness,' my medical friend said. 'You're right; it's not male-pattern baldness because his crown is still full with good hair coverage. There doesn't appear to be any injury or scarring involved, either.' So I ask my doctor pal if this could get worse. 'It's impossible to tell without knowing his medical history,' he said. 'It's more likely he'll lose little clumps like this. It's extremely rare that all your hair falls out with anxiety baldness.'"
The funny thing is that in the comments section, everybody starts throwing down their own medical diagnosis. Favorites include: alopecia, which only adds to my assessment of Tinseltown, aside from being the world's capitol of litigation, the place where innocence gets seduced to a Chili Peppers soundtrack, is also a town with the world's highest concentration of hypocondriacs with an encyclopedic knowledge of the medical dictionary.
Like, is it possible that they are watching Matt Damon's hair too closely? Just a thought.
In: RuPaul, while decompressing from exhausting rehearsals for Zombie Prom, is hooked on Brandy:
"i cant stop listening to BRANDY'S new album AFRODISIAC. on the train, on the plane, in the car...non-stop! the content of the album has taken on deeper meaning with the events that have unfolded in the past 2 weeks. BRANDYS baby daddy revealed that they were never married, countering BRANDYS claim that they had divorced. then, late last week, BRANDY emerged from shame with the announcement that she is engaged to a man worth 75 million and that she has the dope-ass rock to prove it...something like 50 carats...POW!"
Out: Robbers. Margaret Cho's funny take on Charisma, the Democrat Kids, and the robbers of her parents Korean bookstore:
"Cate Edwards and Chris Heinz are impressive kids to put out in front of the store. They beat me and my cousins hands down in counter charisma. If those two were put in charge of the cash register, we probably wouldn't have gotten robbed at gunpoint as many times as we did."
In: Sardinia, it's the new East Sussex, but not quite Croatia, at least not yet. According to Hello! Magazine:
"Oscar winner Denzel Washington took a break from promoting his latest film The Manchurian Candidate to relax in style at one of this summer's hottest celebrity locations the island of Sardinia.
"The Hollywood actor was joined by a familiar face during his boat cruise around Porto Cervo - Formula One boss Flavio Briatore. Famed for hosting his supermodel girlfriends, including Naomi Campbell and Heidi Klum, on his yacht during previous Sardinia holidays, playboy Flavio owns the nearby Billionaire Club, an exclusive hideaway open only to the cr�me de la cr�me of the jet set.
"And there is no shortage of VIPs flocking to Sardinia, as demonstrated by the roster of big names who've visited the Mediterranean paradise just this year. Footballer David Beckham and the England squad held their Euro 2004 training on the Mediterranean island, while rap mogul P Diddy sailed in for his vacation on a �15-million yacht. The elite hotspot has also seen its share of romance, with Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster spotted on a romantic holiday, and Christian Slater seen smoothing out his rocky relationship with wife Ryan Haddon with some passionate kisses."
This month, Tony Blair and his wife stayed in Sardinia with uber-sleazy media magnate cum Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, according to the Telegraph (eeewww):
"After leaving Tuscany, the Blairs are due to travel to Sardinia for a two-day stay with Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister. From there they are expected to fly to Athens for the Olympic Games."
I hope the Blair had their shots if they used any of Berlusconi's silverware. Tara Reid may be flashing her newly purchased breasts in Sardinia, which is nice. What more could you ask for?
But, where to stay, true believer? The New York Post suggests:
"A ... private spot is Cala di Volpe's sister site, the exclusive, whitewashed Hotel Pitrizza, where Harrison Ford stayed recently. Practically embedded in the jagged coast, it has a granite pool that seems to blend into the sea (from approximately $1,200; starwood.com).
"Also, check out Peter Gabriel's Li Capanni, the 20-room hotel where he got married. He opens its cottages and gardens to anyone who can afford the approximately $43,000 weekly hire charge (licapanni.com)."
Finally, PM's Unik recently told Page Six, "(he's) joining Lionel Richie in Sardinia. He'll wind up in Croatia, which he calls 'the next St.-Tropez gorgeous, cheap and still undiscovered.'"
Out: Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live? (link via Gawker) According to the AP:
"Former President Bill Clinton could be a host of 'Saturday Night Live' this season. At least, that's what the folks at NBC are hoping.
"TV Guide Online quotes anonymous sources saying that Clinton has been offered the gig if he wants it.
"A decision is expected this week."
This might not be the best way to preserve a dignified Presidential legacy. Not a good sign, if this is true, that Clinton still hasn't decided. The Corsair is not a prude in any way shape or form, and he would love to see a short Clinton SNL skit, but a President shouldn't do any extended comedy riffs beyond the White House Correspondent's Dinner -- the acceptable forum for that. Clinton is not Al Sharpton, he shouldn't be carrying the show, he should be on DL diplomatic missions to the Middle East or Central Asia.
I'm just saying, I'm kind of conservative about what a President should ideally represent. And an ex-President shouldn't be doing Nat X or "Mongo" sketches, or Chyna Doll bits.
In: Vanity Fair's Page Six Story. According to FashionWeekDaily, Vanity Fair is doing a piece on the merry band of Sixers, past and present:
"Here's an update on Frank DiGiacomos first assignment for Vanity Fair. His all-encompassing look at the Manhattan gossip world has now apparently morphed into an 'oral history' of the New York Posts Page Six. DiGiacomo, who once worked at the column himself, has been interviewing employees past and present, including, of course, the now-infamous Ian Spiegelman, who, were told, has just sold his next book, partly on the strength of all the attention hes garnered since getting axed from the paper. DiGiacomo is also talking to competitors and those who have been burned by Page Six and still feel the pain. But don?t expect any scathing revelations about Richard Johnson -- he's too powerful a figure to mess with."
Out: Matt Damon's Anxiety Baldness. Okay, maybe the FlyOnTheWall crowd is stretching for news -- lord knows I've dont that before -- but I'm fascinated by how gossipmongers make medical diagnoses on the flimsiest of paparazzi photos:
"The other day, one of the trades ran the photo below of Matt Damon fighting off an attempted liplock by George Clooney at The Bourne Supremacy premiere. The two strange bald patches in Damon's hair struck me as odd. They're not at the crown, where male pattern baldness starts, but instead down on the side a bit. Now if you saw a guy on the street with little bald spots like this, you'd think he had a bad haircut. But I can't imagine Damon gets a $3 trim at the barber school.
"So I forwarded a scan of the picture to a MD buddy and asked him what was up with Matt's locks. 'Definitely looks like some anxiety baldness,' my medical friend said. 'You're right; it's not male-pattern baldness because his crown is still full with good hair coverage. There doesn't appear to be any injury or scarring involved, either.' So I ask my doctor pal if this could get worse. 'It's impossible to tell without knowing his medical history,' he said. 'It's more likely he'll lose little clumps like this. It's extremely rare that all your hair falls out with anxiety baldness.'"
The funny thing is that in the comments section, everybody starts throwing down their own medical diagnosis. Favorites include: alopecia, which only adds to my assessment of Tinseltown, aside from being the world's capitol of litigation, the place where innocence gets seduced to a Chili Peppers soundtrack, is also a town with the world's highest concentration of hypocondriacs with an encyclopedic knowledge of the medical dictionary.
Like, is it possible that they are watching Matt Damon's hair too closely? Just a thought.
In: RuPaul, while decompressing from exhausting rehearsals for Zombie Prom, is hooked on Brandy:
"i cant stop listening to BRANDY'S new album AFRODISIAC. on the train, on the plane, in the car...non-stop! the content of the album has taken on deeper meaning with the events that have unfolded in the past 2 weeks. BRANDYS baby daddy revealed that they were never married, countering BRANDYS claim that they had divorced. then, late last week, BRANDY emerged from shame with the announcement that she is engaged to a man worth 75 million and that she has the dope-ass rock to prove it...something like 50 carats...POW!"
Out: Robbers. Margaret Cho's funny take on Charisma, the Democrat Kids, and the robbers of her parents Korean bookstore:
"Cate Edwards and Chris Heinz are impressive kids to put out in front of the store. They beat me and my cousins hands down in counter charisma. If those two were put in charge of the cash register, we probably wouldn't have gotten robbed at gunpoint as many times as we did."
Katie Couric: Smooth Da Hustla.
According to Lloyd Grove, the elvin NBC Today Show host has more than just pep in her step, she's got soul in her roll:
"... the 'Today' show's barefoot Katie Couric snagged a live interview with the Democratic nominee and his running mate, and the well-shod Gibson got nobody - that he was right to be hopping mad.
"Immediately on arriving at Langone Park, on the banks of the Charles River, (ABC's Good Morning America host Charlie) Gibson noticed that 'GMA's' picturesque site was a good distance away from the rally.
"But 'Today' had claimed a location close to the bus that was to convey Kerry and Edwards on their first cross-country campaign trip.
"According to witnesses, Gibson indicated the 'Today' site, scowled - and barked at a 'GMA' producer: 'We should be here.'"
The Corsiar nibbles on a croissant, sipping coffee, reflecting on the irony of Charlie Gibson's statement, and its relevance to the white hott ratings war currently going on between GMA and Today. Of course Charlie wants to be there, getting the rich smooth Today Show ad revenue cheddar.
"Around 8 a.m. the 'Today' team moved to an even closer location around 30 feet from the candidates' bus - smack-dab in the middle of their escape route - and Couric doffed her fashionable black pumps for greater mobility."
The Corsair ducks, mouthing 'What the f-,' narrowly avoiding a Manolo Blahnik to the chops:
"'... Where are your shoes?' Edwards demanded.
"'I had to jump around to try to grab you guys,' Couric explained.
"Watching miserably, Gibson scorched his producers, 'This should have been us!' and then stormed off.
"The despondent 'GMA'-ers were spotted sulking beside their remote location.
"A few hours later, ABC News spokesman Jeffrey Schneider made no effort to spin (Grove).
'Gosh, that Katie - she's such a hustler,' he said, and I can only hope he meant that in the best sense."
don't hate the hustla, hate the ratings game ...
According to Lloyd Grove, the elvin NBC Today Show host has more than just pep in her step, she's got soul in her roll:
"... the 'Today' show's barefoot Katie Couric snagged a live interview with the Democratic nominee and his running mate, and the well-shod Gibson got nobody - that he was right to be hopping mad.
"Immediately on arriving at Langone Park, on the banks of the Charles River, (ABC's Good Morning America host Charlie) Gibson noticed that 'GMA's' picturesque site was a good distance away from the rally.
"But 'Today' had claimed a location close to the bus that was to convey Kerry and Edwards on their first cross-country campaign trip.
"According to witnesses, Gibson indicated the 'Today' site, scowled - and barked at a 'GMA' producer: 'We should be here.'"
The Corsiar nibbles on a croissant, sipping coffee, reflecting on the irony of Charlie Gibson's statement, and its relevance to the white hott ratings war currently going on between GMA and Today. Of course Charlie wants to be there, getting the rich smooth Today Show ad revenue cheddar.
"Around 8 a.m. the 'Today' team moved to an even closer location around 30 feet from the candidates' bus - smack-dab in the middle of their escape route - and Couric doffed her fashionable black pumps for greater mobility."
The Corsair ducks, mouthing 'What the f-,' narrowly avoiding a Manolo Blahnik to the chops:
"'... Where are your shoes?' Edwards demanded.
"'I had to jump around to try to grab you guys,' Couric explained.
"Watching miserably, Gibson scorched his producers, 'This should have been us!' and then stormed off.
"The despondent 'GMA'-ers were spotted sulking beside their remote location.
"A few hours later, ABC News spokesman Jeffrey Schneider made no effort to spin (Grove).
'Gosh, that Katie - she's such a hustler,' he said, and I can only hope he meant that in the best sense."
don't hate the hustla, hate the ratings game ...
NYTimes' Paul Krugman Versus CBS News' Jim Murphy
The Executive Producer of CBS Evening News with Dan Rather, Jim Murphy, is getting a little punchy. And not punchy good, but punchy bad. Be very afraid. He's mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore.
And it's not the first time with Murphy. Not hardly.
One would think that having reached the rarified air of network news, one might be above the fray, beyond getting into a spot of the old rough and tumble with the Op Ed Page of the Old Gray Lady. Upon achieving the sanctified grace of Network News, one might be inured to media violence, and thus immune to the slings and arrows of outrageous editorials. Uh-uh, you'd be wrong on that count, baby pop.
First, Murphy went punchy after Howie Kurtz, with wide haymakers and low, inside body shots, saying, slyly:
"The endless debate over how American politics are covered by domestic media gets another treatment in today's Howard Kurtz column in the Washington Post. And in the sidebar debate over television versus print as a source for comprehensive treatment, Howie comes down firmly on the side of print without ever saying so. But it's obvious in the subtext of Kurtz's report that he reached two conclusions from a selective viewing of the CBS Evening News reports about this year's issues called 'What Does It Mean To You?'"
Now, Murphy, 1-0, undefeated in the Chattering Class Smackdown (held daily in Romenesko Letters), sharpens his axe to grind, target: Paul Krugman; let the beatings begin, true believers. On July 30th Murphy wrote to Romenesko's Letters:
"The entire staff of the 'CBS Evening News with Dan Rather' was pretty miffed after reading Paul Krugman's (July 30th "Triumph of the Trivial" column) that claimed not a SINGLE issues piece has aired on the big newscasts in the past two months."
Translation: At the Tiffany Network that day, we burned your column in effigy; much oxen was sacrificed to the Elder Gods over the flames, and much sweet meats and honey ale was consumed. Me alpha-man, hear me roar!
"(Krugman) must have missed the SIXTEEN different 'issues' pieces we did over a four week period during that time, part of a series that will continue until the election. With the resources of the New York Times you would think that would be kind of difficult to miss."
Translation: My boldface is bigger than yours. And, what's worse, you don't know how to use your, uhm, resources.
"The Washington Post's media critic found the series so intriguing amid all the debate over campaign coverage he actually wrote an article about it. How can anyone take an editorialist's arguments seriously when he ignores some FACTS completely?"
Translation: If Howie, my ex-nemesis is cool with it, then you must be blind.
On Poynter (2nd Item down), NY Timesman Paul Krugman responds in kind:
"In response to Jim Murphy's comment regarding my July 30 column on the absence of issue coverage in this election, and the 'miffed' staff at CBS Evening News ... Mr. Murphy apparently misread what I said."
Translation: Do you own a library card? Have you ever? Do you want me to help you with the big words?
"I did not say that there has been no issue reporting at all over the past two months; I said that issue coverage is very thin, and that there has in particular been no clear explanation of even the most basic elements of the Kerry health care plan.That statement is, alas, true."
Translation: The old Gray Lady may be a bit chubby in the backside, and CBS News may be, uhm, supermodel thin, but our readers like a little meat on the bone -- something to grab onto ... (The Corsair imitates expressive Italian hand gestures to illustrate his point, mouthing the words, 'abondanza, abondanza'')
"The CBS evening news report from June 29 was the best coverage of the competing health care plans I could find."
Translation: Why can't we be friends? I'm a respected columnist, an intellectual even, I don't need this kind of shit.
"But did it explain that the Kerry plan would cover most of those now uninsured? No."
Translation: I am not averse to issuing a bitchslap if the occasion warrants. Remember executive producer boy, an animal is most dangerous when it is cornered ...
"Did it explain that the plan would, according to the Kerry campaign, be financed by a tax-cut rollback? No. In fact, by giving time to Bush claims that 'the Kerry plan would break the bank', without mentioning Kerry's plan to pay for it with a tax-cut rollback, the CBS report conveyed the false impression that the plan is unfunded pie in the sky."
Translation: Some constructive, diplomatic criticism, my media brother, let's work through this.
"Bear in mind that this is not one among many issues: health care-cum-tax cut rollback is Kerry's signature domestic policy proposal. Yet a voter who gets his or her news from TV, even CBS with its 'issues' series, would have little or no idea of what Kerry is offering, or how it differs from Bush."
Translation: TV has it's uses, but print media is for the weighty analysis, that's how it was all divvied up in the beginning-- you get the big money, we get the prestige. Live with it.
Tune in next week, when Jim Murphy blasts any media critic (50-50 odds on an Eric Alterman, Jim Murphy Smackdown up next) who dares -- dares! -- criticize the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather.
Murphy dares you to smack the Eveready battery off his shoulder ... he dares you ...
The Executive Producer of CBS Evening News with Dan Rather, Jim Murphy, is getting a little punchy. And not punchy good, but punchy bad. Be very afraid. He's mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore.
And it's not the first time with Murphy. Not hardly.
One would think that having reached the rarified air of network news, one might be above the fray, beyond getting into a spot of the old rough and tumble with the Op Ed Page of the Old Gray Lady. Upon achieving the sanctified grace of Network News, one might be inured to media violence, and thus immune to the slings and arrows of outrageous editorials. Uh-uh, you'd be wrong on that count, baby pop.
First, Murphy went punchy after Howie Kurtz, with wide haymakers and low, inside body shots, saying, slyly:
"The endless debate over how American politics are covered by domestic media gets another treatment in today's Howard Kurtz column in the Washington Post. And in the sidebar debate over television versus print as a source for comprehensive treatment, Howie comes down firmly on the side of print without ever saying so. But it's obvious in the subtext of Kurtz's report that he reached two conclusions from a selective viewing of the CBS Evening News reports about this year's issues called 'What Does It Mean To You?'"
Now, Murphy, 1-0, undefeated in the Chattering Class Smackdown (held daily in Romenesko Letters), sharpens his axe to grind, target: Paul Krugman; let the beatings begin, true believers. On July 30th Murphy wrote to Romenesko's Letters:
"The entire staff of the 'CBS Evening News with Dan Rather' was pretty miffed after reading Paul Krugman's (July 30th "Triumph of the Trivial" column) that claimed not a SINGLE issues piece has aired on the big newscasts in the past two months."
Translation: At the Tiffany Network that day, we burned your column in effigy; much oxen was sacrificed to the Elder Gods over the flames, and much sweet meats and honey ale was consumed. Me alpha-man, hear me roar!
"(Krugman) must have missed the SIXTEEN different 'issues' pieces we did over a four week period during that time, part of a series that will continue until the election. With the resources of the New York Times you would think that would be kind of difficult to miss."
Translation: My boldface is bigger than yours. And, what's worse, you don't know how to use your, uhm, resources.
"The Washington Post's media critic found the series so intriguing amid all the debate over campaign coverage he actually wrote an article about it. How can anyone take an editorialist's arguments seriously when he ignores some FACTS completely?"
Translation: If Howie, my ex-nemesis is cool with it, then you must be blind.
On Poynter (2nd Item down), NY Timesman Paul Krugman responds in kind:
"In response to Jim Murphy's comment regarding my July 30 column on the absence of issue coverage in this election, and the 'miffed' staff at CBS Evening News ... Mr. Murphy apparently misread what I said."
Translation: Do you own a library card? Have you ever? Do you want me to help you with the big words?
"I did not say that there has been no issue reporting at all over the past two months; I said that issue coverage is very thin, and that there has in particular been no clear explanation of even the most basic elements of the Kerry health care plan.That statement is, alas, true."
Translation: The old Gray Lady may be a bit chubby in the backside, and CBS News may be, uhm, supermodel thin, but our readers like a little meat on the bone -- something to grab onto ... (The Corsair imitates expressive Italian hand gestures to illustrate his point, mouthing the words, 'abondanza, abondanza'')
"The CBS evening news report from June 29 was the best coverage of the competing health care plans I could find."
Translation: Why can't we be friends? I'm a respected columnist, an intellectual even, I don't need this kind of shit.
"But did it explain that the Kerry plan would cover most of those now uninsured? No."
Translation: I am not averse to issuing a bitchslap if the occasion warrants. Remember executive producer boy, an animal is most dangerous when it is cornered ...
"Did it explain that the plan would, according to the Kerry campaign, be financed by a tax-cut rollback? No. In fact, by giving time to Bush claims that 'the Kerry plan would break the bank', without mentioning Kerry's plan to pay for it with a tax-cut rollback, the CBS report conveyed the false impression that the plan is unfunded pie in the sky."
Translation: Some constructive, diplomatic criticism, my media brother, let's work through this.
"Bear in mind that this is not one among many issues: health care-cum-tax cut rollback is Kerry's signature domestic policy proposal. Yet a voter who gets his or her news from TV, even CBS with its 'issues' series, would have little or no idea of what Kerry is offering, or how it differs from Bush."
Translation: TV has it's uses, but print media is for the weighty analysis, that's how it was all divvied up in the beginning-- you get the big money, we get the prestige. Live with it.
Tune in next week, when Jim Murphy blasts any media critic (50-50 odds on an Eric Alterman, Jim Murphy Smackdown up next) who dares -- dares! -- criticize the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather.
Murphy dares you to smack the Eveready battery off his shoulder ... he dares you ...
Is This The End of Cafe Society?
Could this be the last hurrah for Cafe Society as we know it? Town and Country, arguably, jumped the shark, or, rather, jumped the well tended Newport, Rhode Island rose garden, when they decided to put John Travolta on their cover a while back, instead of, say, oh -- Hubert de Givenchy, or Philippe de Montebello (Averted Gaze).
Has celebrity finally trumped discretion and the well-written holiday note? Class will tell ... (Averted Gaze)
Now, The Page Sixers report, the fat lady has sung, or, at least, Bobby Short's doing Gershwin at Cafe Carlisle, as alpha-debutante Cornelia Guest is pitches forth towards Tinseltown, forgoing the obligatory mansion on Long Island out of site from the main road:
"CORNELIA Guest has packed up and moved back to Los Angeles. The daughter of The Post's late gardening columnist C.Z. Guest, Cornelia, who was once named 'Debutante of the Decade,' has decided to try her elegantly manicured hand at acting. So far Guest, who does not have an agent, is doing very well all on her own. The blue-blooded blonde has scored a small part in an NBC pilot, 'Revelations,' done three independent films and is in discussions to have a one-off role on the FX hit, 'Nip/Tuck.'"
Ah, the pendulum swings, and, with the passing of CZ Guest, the debutantes fade. Charmed, I'm sure (Averted gaze).
Could this be the last hurrah for Cafe Society as we know it? Town and Country, arguably, jumped the shark, or, rather, jumped the well tended Newport, Rhode Island rose garden, when they decided to put John Travolta on their cover a while back, instead of, say, oh -- Hubert de Givenchy, or Philippe de Montebello (Averted Gaze).
Has celebrity finally trumped discretion and the well-written holiday note? Class will tell ... (Averted Gaze)
Now, The Page Sixers report, the fat lady has sung, or, at least, Bobby Short's doing Gershwin at Cafe Carlisle, as alpha-debutante Cornelia Guest is pitches forth towards Tinseltown, forgoing the obligatory mansion on Long Island out of site from the main road:
"CORNELIA Guest has packed up and moved back to Los Angeles. The daughter of The Post's late gardening columnist C.Z. Guest, Cornelia, who was once named 'Debutante of the Decade,' has decided to try her elegantly manicured hand at acting. So far Guest, who does not have an agent, is doing very well all on her own. The blue-blooded blonde has scored a small part in an NBC pilot, 'Revelations,' done three independent films and is in discussions to have a one-off role on the FX hit, 'Nip/Tuck.'"
Ah, the pendulum swings, and, with the passing of CZ Guest, the debutantes fade. Charmed, I'm sure (Averted gaze).
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