Lord of the Voting Academy Members

With over 26,000 cast and crew, many of which are voting Academy members -- costumers, model builders, digital experts, lighting technicians, etc -- it is no wonder LOTR made an incredible 11 out of 11 sweep at the Oscars.

Rush and Molloy quoted Sir Elton John, "It was the most boring Oscars I have ever seen,' he told us at the party he threw with InStyle magazine at Pearl.

"'I thought there might be one surprise in the song category, but even there Lord of the Rings won. And I don't think it deserved to."

Me neither, Elton.

Poor (but wealthy) Harvey Weinstein, who let the film slip through his short fingers, like Melissa Rivers' slender foot busting through her Jimmy Choo last night, must be howling right about now for letting New Line take his lunch money.

I imagine dreamily that he and embattled Disney CEO Michael Eisner -- who took some collateral hits as well -- are somewhere, possibly The Ivy, licking their wounds, counting their lumps, and bonding over the absurdity of it all:

Michael Eisner: Shit, Harv. Bad night all around, huh.

Harvey Weinstein: That's a fucking understatement, Mike.

Eisner: Lotsa noise coming from my end.

Weinstein: (embarrassed) Sorry, Mike, that was me (shoos his backside with a copy of Variety), Damned Wolfgang Puck and his fucking French Perigord black truffles ... too rich.

Eisner: (covering his nose all of a sudden) oh, Harvey ...

Weinstein: Hey, didja see The Lord of the Voting Academy Members sweep?

Eisner: Evil genius, Harv; evil fuckin' genius. That business model reeked of Dark Lord Sauron.

Weinstein: Takes one ta know one (laughs). Imagine sending a cast of 26,000 -- many of whom are Academy members -- to vote in the interest of their resumes. No wonder.

Eisner: I took a beating last night too, Harv, if ya hadn't noticed.

Weinstein: And Finding Nemo should have been spun as a win for Disney. You know you are half way to Ovitzville when Robin Williams of all people is comparing your company to "a Muppet and a water slide."

Eisner: I have a lot of enemies, Harvey, what can I fuckin' say. I'm like an African dictator holding on to power. There are a lot of laid off and bitter animators out there looking to trap the mouse.

Weinstein: Player haters, Mike; they are just playa hatin'.

Eisner: As I always say, don't playa hate, congratulate.

Weinstein: Or in my fuckin' case: don't playa hate, emulate. Next time around Miramax is financing a film with 50,000 Academy voting extras, I'm gonna be throwin my weight around. Bling-blinged freak terrorizes Tinseltown: Wait till they get a loada me!