William Safire on the 9/11 Commission

Pity the great writer on politics and language William Safire. Why? Well, aside from being a Pulitzer Prize winning former Nixon speechwriter and Senior columnist for the Old Gray Lady, he has a lot of new words to digest and interpret for his On Language column in the Sunday Magazine. These 9/11 hearings have given us all pause, what with their codewords spiralling out into the light of day.

I wonder how Bill would analyze the 9/11 hearings of yesterday?

Hmmm (dreamy fade away):

Actionable Intelligence

What is actionable intelligence? And when, more precisely, is intelligence actionable?

In response to questioning from the 9/11 commission on Tuesday, Secretary of Defense Donald "The Jockstrap" Rumsfeld said, "First, I know of no actionable intelligence since January 20, 2001 that would have allowed the U.S. to attack and capture or kill Usama bin Laden."

But in this matter we will give the last word to DC doyenne Sally Quinn, who is used to such gallant favors:

Washington DC is a matriarchal society and I am the queen bee. Any incoming administration would be ill advised to get on my bad side early in the game. Ask Bill Clinton about that point sometime. Anyway, I received some actionable intelligence via the Hill some time ago that Arianna Huffington coveted my social position. Well, I don't like to kiss and tell, but let's just say Arianna was last seen dropping out of the California recall debacle and producing telemovies. She'll never eat lunch in this town again. Draw your own conclusions.

Sally Quinn,
Washington DC

The Washington Read

"I have not read the book, " is not the sentence that the President utters most often, although, no doubt, he probably does. "I have not read the book," is the answer that many under questioning from the 9/11 Commission offer up.

And what is the book in question? Why: It's Richard Clarke's Against All Enemies.

Everyone it seems used plausible denial when asked whether or not they had read the book in question. Only one respondent admitted to "the Washington read," which entails scanning the index to see if anything is said about you.

This reminds me of an incident between Norman Mailer and William F. Buckley:

"William F. Buckley once sent fellow author Norman Mailer a copy of his latest book. Mailer, disappointed to find that Buckley had apparently neglected to inscribe the book, promptly flipped through the index to see whether he had been mentioned. There, beside his name, Mailer found Buckley's 'inscription' - a handwritten 'Hi!'"

The adjectival Talmudic

Let's get our "boots on the ground" and try to discover the use of Talmudic as an adjective by the 9/11 Commission.

The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage by Allan Siegal and William G. Connolly says of Talmud, "The overall term (literally study) for the body of Jewish oral law and tradition."

But what they don't mention is that studying the Talmud is thirsty work. Influential conservative philosopher Leo Strauss made many innovations in the study of ancient philosophical texts through his intimate knowledge the Talmud (Strauss was a rabinnical student) You won't see President Bush in the near future poring over the Talmud in the West Wing, deep in thought. And so, with that improbably image in mind, any text too complicated for Dubya will hereafter be called Talmudic.

Thank You For Your Candor

After testimony is given the commissioners tell those who have just testified, "Thank you for your candor." Where did this originate?

Candor, of course, is derivative from the ancient Kryptonian city of Kand-or.

"Kandor is ... harbored in the Fortress of Solitude until Superman can one day find a way to free the people from their dimensional prison. Until that day, Cerizah and the people of Kandor will feel safe knowing Superman is looking out for their well being."