A Little of the Old In and Out

In:

Happy Birthday, Eddie Grant. You know Eddie. He was that affable 80s reggae singer who made "Electric Avenue." Well, today he turns 56. "And then we'll take it higher."

Out:

Ultraphony asshole Jim Carrey is definitely out. The National Enquirer's Robin Mizrahi paints a gloomy picture of the fake. She writes:

"'Jim (Carey) knows he's great at becoming other characters, but he feels he has no true soul of his own,' a close friend confided to The ENQUIRER.

"The twice-divorced performer also feels frustrated at not having found the right woman, but he doesn't think he'll find his soul mate until he first discovers his own true self, said the friend. And right now the spiritual pilgrim is practicing what he preaches.

"'Jim eats no wheat, dairy, sugar or processed food. No caffeine, either, and he doesn't smoke cigarettes or pot. And he's really into fasting - he actually enjoys feeling hungry,' revealed his friend.

"'Jim never does anything halfway. Even his house reflects his new philosophy - he's been giving away his possessions, little by little.'"

This, people, is the same Spiritual pilgrim who emerged from a rhino's ass.

In:

Minerals and herbs. Roger Friedman of Foxnews.com says of Jacko:

"When Jackson thought he was having a morphine overdose last December, I am told he called in one Alfredo Bowman, also known as 'Dr. Sebi.' Bowman is not a real doctor. He just plays one.

"Bowman ... is now staying with Michael in Aspen, feeding him minerals and herbs and talking to him very nicely. US Weekly says Dr. Sebi is 'detoxing' Michael from his addiction to alcohol and painkillers. " Hmmm. Minerals and herbs.


In:

Steroids. Lloyd Grove once again gives us the Sweet and Lowdown today. Interviewing extreme journalist Robert Young Pelton, just back from the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, who interviewed a CIA operative known pnly as "The Contractor." The Contractor says about combat readiniess:

"Most (CIA operatives) are into steroids big-time. D-balls [Dianabol] to bulk you up and Sustanon to help you maintain what you gained. The doctors turn a blind eye to it. We get the stuff across the border in Pakistan."

What the fuck?

Out:

Nerds. The geek shall inherit the earth. NY Times Martin Nisenholtz insists that although he knows things tech, he is not a geek.

In:

Arianna Huffington. The new in thing in Washington is to succeed in Hollywood. HBO's K-Street, Lawrence O'Donnell and Dede Myers consulting for NBC's The West Wing, and now Arianna Huffington, parlaying her run for Governor into political tv. Rush and Molloy write:

"Halle Berry and Alfre Woodard may be dueling it out on rival movies based on an incident in Tulia, Tex. Berry wants to play a defense lawyer for some of the 10% of the town's black residents who were falsely arrested on drug charges in 1999 on the word of a single cop. But 'Tulia' is still two years away. Meanwhile, producers Arianna Huffington and David Yudain have their own movie, 'Tulia, Texas,' ready to go for CBS, in which Woodard would star as Mattie White, whose four children were all arrested." I'm so there.

In:

Excess. From Page Six: "BEN Stiller washing his $41 hamburger down with a glass of Dom Perignon at Old Homestead." Damn, all I had was a bite of Bonnie Fuller's crummy sandwich for lunch.

Out:

Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. versus Charles Rangel. Page Six writes, "THAT State Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell Jr. � one of the few Democratic legislators who spoke against the state's harsh ban on smoking and voted against the bill � held a fund-raiser last night at One on Little West 12th Street for his campaign against Rep. Charles Rangel, who won his Harlem congressional seat from Powell's father in 1970." Fuck. When are we Northerners going to figure out that the reason the South is so powerful is that they fall in line and reelect representatives for the long haul, thus garnering seniority, and thus helping the region. Rangel is fourth in line to head Ways and Means and is steering a lot of pork to Harlem. Electing Powell simply because he wants to avenge his pappy s no help to Harlem. And Al Sharpton insinuating himself into this mess and backing Powell because he felt Rangel slapped him in the face by endorsing Wes Clark doesn't help matters. Sheesh, Washington politics is as complicated as my last name.