Monday, March 01, 2004

A Little of The Old In and Out

In:

Not that I have anything against it (I'm not) -- but I'm curious about the culural significance of The Rise of White Africans as I, myself, am a black African-born blogger. First, there was the exotic Theresa Heinz, all over the cultural landscape, and now, out of nowhere, Charlize Theron. What's up, buttercup?

Out: J-Lo's Tush. According to that significant cultural artifact the National Enquirer:

"Dr. Richard Fleming, codirector of the Beverly Hills Institute of Aesthetic and Reconstructive Surgery, told Planet Tab: 'Hollywood thrives on youthfulness and influences how people all over the world judge beauty. And we're always surprised by our patients' top picks of celebrity features.

"'Jennifer Lopez's lips are still considered appealing, but last year everyone wanted her butt - which now, no one ever asks for. That was last year's look.

"'While a huge percentage of patients want to look like the strong classic beauties, such as Catherine Zeta- Jones and Charlize Theron, there are always those who request to look like the celebrities who might not be classic beauties, but are hot at the moment.'"

In: Bill Murray. Always In.

Out:

Silly little freak and disgraced African American journo Jayson Blair's memoir of which, editornadpublisher.com writes, "the Daily News' Paul D. Colford pounced on (the memoir's bits), such as: 'Zuza [my girlfriend] took pictures of me prancing around the newsroom wearing a Persian head wrap that covered my face, Kermit the Frog on my shoulders and a giant fake fur coat. I did a full tour de newsroom in this peculiar uniform. It is hard to know what I was feeling, other than it was exhilarating to shock everyone. Perhaps I was crying out for attention.'" Out!

In: Restless former designer/comic book writer/movie pusher/talk show host and snarky asshole Izaac Mizrahi gets a development deal. What the fuck is up with that? Is he going to do a reality show starring FIT students vying for a fashion show at the tents in Mid-Manhattan? And--the better question --how will that gain a national NBC audience? Anyhoo: Mizrahi got a deal (more than I can say), which, The Corsair predicts, will be seven figures thrown into the void by NBC, but, ultimately, a mahor windfall by Les Miz.

Out:

Kerry against free speech. Presidential hopeful Senator John Kerry is running on his bandylegs to the political center now that he has all but locked up the nomination, fleeing from Democratic principles such as free speech, in order to short the Bushies push for a "culture war" platform framed by social moderates and evangelicals over issues like gay marriage and The Passion of The Christ. In his center break, Kerry is tossing Stern over the bow like a hot potato. Great going, future President asshole!

In:

Forbes Gets Global and Grows Up. For years the Forbes 500 List looked like an alumni picture from last year's bohemian grove outing. A few years ago, those pasty Princetonians, embarrassed by the lack of billionaires in Africa that were not dictators (laissez faire works!), paired up Africa and the Middle East in their Forbes 500 listing. Well, now they are beginning to get it. Less pink bespectacled flesh and more color: The Corsair approves.

Out:

Robert Novak (link via Romenesko), the maddening CNN personality who has inserted himself into the Valerie Plame Bush administration spy affair. Just name your source, Novak! No one will question your "journalistic principles" (a very 3am in the morning C-Span affair if you ask me) when you save US tax payers millions trying to ferret out the info via legal bills and congressional inquiry.




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