Saturday, March 27, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Angelina Jolie, pilot. Apparently not content with being an Oscar winning actress, UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador, former hillbilly wife and adoptive mom, restless Angelina Jolie, the future Mrs. Mwangaguhunga tells the Daily Record she is studying to be a licensed pilot.

"'My dream is to deliver food and help people get from one place to another.

"'Part of this is because every time (Maddox) sees a plane he's amazed. If I could fly a plane by the time he's four, I'll be like Superwoman to him.'"

My dreams concerning Angelina Jolie and superwomen costumes, however, cannot be discussed here, in a family-friendly blog (come on, Disney might want to buy me out someday; you never know)

Out: The hardest working man in show business, James Brown, is "disgusted" that the po-po didn't let him freshen up before taking his now infamous mug shot.

The singer of "hotpants" told the Sydney Morning Herald (link via ananova), "It was quite comical. You get a man out of bed and that kind of thing happens.

"You don't get a chance to freshen yourself up. You expect that. Later on, I got my shave in and did my hair nicely, and I was smiling."

James -- if I may call him that -- James stressed he wasn't angry about the arrest, just "disgusted." He went on:

"For all I've done, the things I've tried to do and accomplished, just to treat me that way is an injustice in this country.

"I'm not angry about it. I'm just a human being. It happened to our Lord, so who am I? It's been done to goodwill people since time began - Martin Luther King, John Kennedy, people around the world in one way or another.

"I'm no better, and I thank God because it makes me stronger and I keep on going. The people's spirit lifts me. I'm just a human being reacting and I'm going to work."

Let's hope the people's spirit, that antic bastard muse, moves Our Man James to stop beating up his wife and leading the police through multistate PCP-fueled high speed chases.

In: The Florida Highway Patrol, policing the redneck Riviera, used an unfortunate slang word when referring to the girlfriend of a crunked up fellow officer. Apparently, according to the Smokinggun, Officer Rick Benton there is no decorum for a fellow officer arrested. In his actual arrest report, Rick Benton writes of 31-year-old corrections officer Travis McConchie and his girlfriend Bernadette:

"Travis was stopped for speeding 73 in a 45 mph he failed to pull over for approximately 1/2 mile. His girlfriend was naked and weas sitting on top of him with her tits in his face."

Okay, Roscoe P Coltrane: Since when is it okay for a cop to use slang on an official report? I mean, could't he find some burocratic term, like sweater muffins or dirty pillows? Why'd he have to go there? Why'd he have to sound like he was in a bar?

Out: Is Kirstie Alley Out of control? Apparently, Mr. Fucking John Travolta, king of self indulgence, Mr. Buy My own Private Jet, name my son Jett (conceived, by the way, on a romantic weekend at Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's place), fly it at all hours and drive my neighbors batty, and then -- the piece de resistance -- make an unwatchable science fiction scientology religious movie, belives that Alley is out of control, according to The Star:

"Former sex symbol Kirstie Alley's weight has gotten so out of control that, sources say, her good friend (and fellow Scientologist) John Travolta has staged an intervention to help keep her from ballooning even more.

Kirstie, 53, who rose to fame and fortune with her role as the feisty Rebecca Howe on the hit '80s sitcom Cheers, has gone from va-va-voom voluptuous to formidably fat."

In: The Spice Market. So in it's almost out. Page Six notes today that Tom Cruise likes the place:

"Cruise, who celebrated the announcement of his split with (Penelope) Cruz by dining with Will Smith at Spice Market Thursday night, has yet to be linked to another woman. But the star won't be unattached for long, and Hollywood insiders speculate his next escort will likely be a Scientologist because Cruise has been devoting more time to his faith and surrounding himself with fellow Scientologists."

And on Monday it will be surrounded in buzz (as well as the stench of blood and offal from the meatpacking district) as Janet Jackson's album relase party is held there, as Fix reports:

"Virgin Records is throwing a CD release party for Damita Jo on Monday, March 29 for invited guests only. It will be held at Jean-Georges Vongerichten's Spice Market restaurant in New York City. Spice Market is located at 403 West 13th Street."

Out: Michael Jackson. Sometimes the man is so out he's in, but not this time. Although Abrasion Magazine does a hilarious take on Jacko: The Bachelor.

In: The latest crop of British It girl models are being touted by British Vogue. Anna J, "Next - walked for Alexander McQueen, Louis Vuitton, Missoni, Marc for Marc Jacobs, Prada, Burberry and Nina Ricci" and Renee Meyer, "Viva - walked for Chanel, Yohji Yamamoto and Kenzo" are particularly fetching looking.

Out: Hello! Magazine goes mobile: Who's Next? We love our snarky gossip as much as the next person, but isn't it going too far when gossip goes cellular? And you know -- you just know -- that Hello will be followed by Us Weekly and Star and National Enquirer. Down time, as we know it, is almost over; welcome to the world of 24/7 gossip and cell phone nude pics of celebs in compromising positions. Not that we really mind thet, cornbread.

In: Charlie Rangel wants to fight over prescription drugs. The fuzzy teddy bear who represents Harlem in the House of Representatives to the World's Last Superpower is getting punchy over prescription drugs. According to the Hill's Michael S. Gerber:

"The top Democrat on the House Ways and Means Committee threatened to go to the House floor if Republicans deny his request to hold additional hearings on the administration�s alleged cover-up of the estimated cost of last year�s prescription drug bill.

�If we don�t hear from the chairman of the committee, we can take a privileged motion and go to the floor to demand that we get the consideration that�s given to us under the rules as the minority,� Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) told Mark Bisnow of PolicyWonk Weekly.

Okay, leaving aside the fact that I have just quoted something called PolicyWonk Weekly, this falls into the Democrat's strategy of tying as many probes and investigations to this administration as humanly possible as the election race heats up; so far I count nine.

In other related news, the rumors regarding Fred Dicker's NY Post column about a vengeful Al Sharpton urging Adam Clayton Powell IV, Rangel's mortal enemy, his nemesis, Moriarty to his Holmes, to run against him again with his backing are sizzling the streets of Harlem.

Out: Kathy Griffin, the D-List. For someone who doesn't care about shallow, fake celebrity culture Kathy Griffith has gone through quite a bit of plastic surgery. Quite a bit.

Anyhoo: That Other Old Gray Lady reviews her new show, the D-List. Virginia Hefferman likes it, apparently.

In: John Fowles.