Tuesday, March 30, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Bob Woodward joins the parade of Simon and Schuster authors going on 60 Minutes to attack the President, according to Lloyd Grove, "I hear that 'Plan of Attack,' supersleuth Bob Woodward's still-secret study of President Bush's war on terrorism, will be very bad for the Bush reelection campaign - which is still reeling from gun-toting former terrorism chief Richard A. Clarke's critique of Bush, National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice and other administration figures in 'Against All Enemies.'

"Woodward's book, to be released next month, will receive not only a multipart series in The Washington Post, but also the Mike Wallace treatment on '60 Minutes' April 18 - when I am absolutely confident that the common corporate ownership of CBS and Woodward's publisher, Simon & Schuster, will be mentioned."

Out: The New Republic's blowhard literary editor Leon Wieseltier ("the weasel") made an appearance on The Soprano's on Sunday. "They got the SL," he shouts, impotently, into the night, as Mobsters steal his car "do you know how long my brother was on the waiting list for that thing?" And do you know how long bossman Marty Peretz has been waiting for his star pupil Al Gore to be President? You don't always get whatcha want, Leon.

In: Alcohol-infused and bloated Jason Patric, former paramour of Julia Roberts was arrested in texas, according to TheSmokinggun:

"Actor Jason Patric was busted by Texas cops early yesterday and charged with misdemeanor counts of resisting arrest and public intoxication. The 37-year-old thespian smelled of alcohol and fought with police after they tried to cuff him, according to the below probable cause affidavit filed in the City of Austin Municipal Court. Patric's trouble began at 2:45 AM when he mocked a patrolman who sought to clear large crowd of pedestrians out of a roadway. Asked if he had a problem complying with the police directive, Patric 'assumed an aggressive stance.' That, of course, is never a good idea when dealing with the fuzz. In short order, Patric tussled with the officer and fell to the ground with the cop (where he was eventually cuffed). Patric, in the Lone Star State for the premiere of his new film 'The Alamo,' was booked into the Travis County Jail."

Damn. Remember when he used to romance Christy Turlington? According to the Affadavit for Warrant of Arrest and Detention, the Alamo star "exhibited the following conditions," odor of alcohol, dilated pupils, and other Aggressive and fighting with police officers. Oh my god ... is Jason Patric me?

Out: Nicky Hilton versus Shannen Doherty? Fashionweekdaily reports of the swishy Tom Ford show on Rodeo Drive, "Nicky Hilton worked the arrivals line for Marie Claire and E! Entertainment, then bolted after spying arch enemy Shannon Doherty, changing into a gold lame gown and walking the carpet herself, making sure not to miss one photo op."

I though Shannon's arch enemy was her sister, Paris? Who can keep track. Mais ca ne fait rien: Catfight!

In: Pork, the new white meat. According to The Hill's Hans Nichols and Johnathan E. Kaplan, "House Republicans could learn some valuable political lessons from their Democratic counterparts when it comes to carving out the big slices of pork stuffed into the pending $275 billion transportation bill.

"In an apparently deft maneuver, the Democrats are allocating, on average, some $10 million more to their most vulnerable members than have the Republicans."

I don't know whether to applaud or hold my nose.

Out: Georgia Senator Zell Miller, and good riddance, ya ole crab apple. Was he ever a Democrat? And what Democrat endorses President Bush -- in 2003!

Skanky Zell, before announcing he would no run for re-election wrote the crankiest political book that I've never read, A National Party No More: The Conscience of a Conservative Democrat brutalizes the Democratic Party, essentially setting up a Republican win for his seat in November. He's just mad because his parents named him Zell, thanks for sharing.

In: Is Georgia freshman Rep. Denise Majette the new democratic party superstar? According to TheHill's Peter Savodnik and Michael Rochmes, "Rep. Denise Majette (D) announced yesterday that she would run for the Senate seat held by retiring Zell Miller (D).

"Her candidacy stunned lawmakers from both parties, some of whom voiced skepticism that the freshman House member could win in an increasingly Republican state."

For all the hooplah about Georgia being a conservative state, current census figures also have the population at about 30 percent African American. Alas, there have been fewer than half a dozen African American senators in the history of the United States. Could Denise Majette be the next?

Out: The New York Times' Neil Strauss, who left the nytimes to pursue a career in porn, screenwriting and ghostwriting, gives coinage to the new verb (a la Corsair), to Strauss, "To use an Old Gray Lady in Order to pick up Young Bloonde Ladies." Jack Shaeffer of Slate (link via Gawker) has a whole bunch of verbs using Ny Times bylines, like, "To Sulzberger: To maintain a great distance between one's rhetoric and one's wallet. (Arthur O. Sulzberger Jr., NY Times publisher)" I also like, "To Miller: To amplify government propaganda.(Judith Miller, reporter)" More: here.

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