A Little of the Old In and Out

In: The New A List. Number one at the Box Office? Not necessary, cornbread. Primary victories? Nah. What do Owen Wilson, John Edwards, Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie and Mary-Cate and Ashley all have in common? Aside from Depp's Pirates of the Caribbean, none of these new stars on the media landscape has had a stellar success, like, say, Tom Cruise, or John Kerry has, in their field. And yet we are fascinated by them. More fascinated by them, in fact, than their more successful counterparts.

Julia Roberts is far more successful than Jolie, and yet -- who would you rather read about, or see on a magazine cover? Huh? And yet: has Jolie ever helmed a number one hit? John Edwards only won South Carolina, and yet, he is the Elvis of the Democrats. You can win, it seems, without winning, as these charismatic stars of Dc and LA -- or, as Ted Casablancas likes to say -- "Hell A" -- are proving. Go figure.

Out: Vivika Fox ruins a $1.5 million dress. Apparently she was crunked up on some red wine. As Ananova reports (via IMDB):

"Kill Bill star Vivica A Fox has ruined a diamond-encrusted dress worth $1.5 million with red wine.

"IMDb.com says the former girlfriend of 50 Cent made the gaffe at a showbiz party.

"Designer Randi Rahm is now trying to salvage the Oscars dress, but says he's not angry with the star.

"He tells People magazine: 'I got a beautiful Hollywood star who looked breathtaking in the dress. I'm not upset at all, it's all part of the deal!'"

"He says he's busy removing the diamonds, throwing away the stained silk and making Fox a new version which uses beading instead of real diamonds."

Redredwine it makes you feel so fine ....

In: "The World is a Dangerous Place." This jejune cliche has been uttered by conservatives, sotto voce, for the past year, but it's frequency is increasing. Those 6 words are usually followed up by a rousing defense of unilateral action, a denunciation of international law and the UN, or some such fucked up long term strategic policy decision that involves energy resources. "The world is a dangerous place ... so we gotta be prepared," is one such line. It must be uttered in a nasally sort of 1950's Frank Sinatra manner-- preferably by Peggy Noonan on a Sunday morning talking head show. It's so very hip. So very.

Out: Does Colin Powell Have the Keys to the Airplane? Says the AP: ''I think simply Powell, who I know, like and admire, has been never permitted to be fully a secretary of state in the way that I envision the secretary of state,'' said Senator John Kerry, a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. ''I think Powell I'm not sure they didn't lock the keys to the airplane up sometimes.'' On Stephanopoulos, Powell denied the allegation calling it "a stereotype (hmmm, what does the Secretary mean?)"

In: Martha Wainwright. I just have the biggest crush on her. Why hasn't she taken off? She's brilliant! She's a real mama-jama.

Out: The monstrously stupid Dierdre Imus. The trophy wife (hmm, how about loving cup wife) of leathery shock jock Don Imus sat in on Tina Brown's Topic A last night and generally stunk up the place. Taking over "the stupid chair" previously occupied last week by the comedically challenged Kinky Friedman, Dierdre's catty and seriously unfunny contributions included saying of Secretary of Health and Human Services Tommy Thompson, "we have (him) on tv with three chins." Charmed, I'm sure. And instead of giving her 'picks' to Tina, she gave these "clever chestnuts" her "predictions":

1) Donald Trump will marry himself; and
2) Kerry will dump Theresa Heinz and marry the powerball winner.

Oh Dierdre -- please, fetch Quincy MD quick -- shnell! -- we just busted a gut laughing.

And always in: Whatevs. We love us our Grambo fix.