Thursday, May 07, 2009

Why Did Kiefer Headbutt This Proenza Schouler Designer?

After the headbutt (image via thisislondon)

It is all so meta. The details surrounding the Kiefer -- aka "Jack Bauer" -- headbutt are murky. Some accounts say that Keifer was provoked to headbutt Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough in the nose because McCollough bumped into actress Brooke Shields and didn't apologize at the SubMercer afterparty for the Met Costume Gala. Shields' people -- and, yes, she acdtually has representation, although the fruits of their Augean labors are anemic -- have denied that account, probably muttering under their collective breath: "keep us the goddam fuck out of this stinkbomb of a story."

Almost all accounts say Keifer, who is a legendary imbiber, was three sheets to the wind. Drinking, plus a hit teevee show based on a dangerous secret agent man, may equal Keifer living a hyper-violent nursery tale in the interiors of his gin-soaked theatre of the skull. Imagine a booze-fuelled universe of Daffy Duck logic where designers are terrorists and innocent Christmas trees are the evil minotaurs. Sounds thoroughly boozish (Averted Gaze).

Every man against one another. McCullough, who by all reports is a sweetheart, was seen (above) sporting sunglasses and a fresh cut across the bridge of his nose.

Keifer is scheduled to turn himself in to the police today.

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