Thursday, May 28, 2009

Rahm Emmanuel Does "An Enormous Amount Of Sit-Ups"

(image via economist)

"Trautman: Look John, we can't have you running around out there killing friendly civilians.

"Rambo: There are no friendly civilians!"
-- First Blood

How does "Rahmbo" Emmanuel, the President's pitbull, stay in shape. He started with ballet, to be sure, but that only warms up the muscles and improves turnout and balance. Ballet is of no help when one has to choke-out an errant Congressman or put a rogue Cabinet member in a slam-jammie.

The Chief-of-Staff, that traditional gatekeeper of all-important face-time with POTUS, occasionally has to bust a few heads. What exercise, one wonders, is particularly helpful in squeezing up a United States Senator like a ripe mango? Sit-ups, people, sit-ups; Rahm Emmanuel swears by them. From Bloomberg:

"White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel starts many mornings with a workout in the U.S. House of Representatives gym. He also lifts weights.

"The real exercise is gathering political intelligence from his one-time colleagues about congressional action on health- care and energy legislation.

"He ends some days doing the same, dining with a bipartisan group of lawmakers at Bobby Van’s Steakhouse, three blocks from the White House.

Between doing 'an enormous amount of sit-ups,' Emanuel, 49, is 'doing what he’s always done,' said Representative Gregory Meeks, a Democrat from New York. 'He’s whipping us,' he added, referring to Emanuel’s skill at rounding up votes. 'He’s trying to figure out where we are.'

"With a corner office in the West Wing and walk-in privileges in the Capitol, Emanuel navigates two corridors of power in Washington as he helps Obama push through an agenda that has extended its reach into corporations such as Detroit- based General Motors Corp., Chrysler LLC in Auburn, Hills, Mich., and American International Group, with headquarters in New York."

Crunches are for pussies. Bet Rahm could crack a walnut 'tween his butt-cheeks. And 'neath those stuffy suits lie, in parallel construcion, like on the bust of Apollo, what can only be properly construed as "the sweet abs." Emanuel navigates two corridors of power in Washington, bestriding the capital like a colossus, accidentally-on-purpose teabagging all those who litter his glorious path.

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