Michael Musto Is Giving Up The Diet Coke



(image via nymag)

Ordinarily someone giving up a cold beverage would not be news, but Michael Musto, who is sort of a demi-god among New York City writers -- and someone who recognized this blog early -- uses such .. descriptive language. Striking language. It's astonishing, really. From The Village Voice:

"If I start ballooning up again, folks, it's because my new meal plan has been including less and less of my beloved Diet Coke. I used to guzzle the shit like spring rain from God's vagina, addicted to the caffeine content and loving the calorie-free way it made me look like less of a whale. But after years upon indiscriminate years of ingesting the stuff, I just noticed it has a sort of chemical-y taste. There aren't a whole lot of nutrients in there. In fact, it's a wicked stew made of materials not found in nature, lethal liquids with five or six syllable names, all colored a delightful shade of dark rectal brown."

Wha-a-t?!