Thursday, August 28, 2008

Jeremy Piven, With Just A Twist Of Douche

(image via hbo)

When yesterday we read this, Kiefer Sutherland came to mind. The Crazy days and Nights Blind Item said, "In the past few days this B- list television actor with the horrible reputation and famous name, spent three hours at the apartment of an extra from his television show. How does anyone know? Well she has two roommates who were home at the time that the moaning and groaning was going on. Apparently the people in this town are even crazier than I ever imagined."

The Keef is a mildly damaged man who could only be properly construed as "B-plus List" on that great Hollywood Food Chain. He seemed to fit the profile perfectly and, considering the melancholy which clings to him like a five-O'Clock shadow, it seemed okay, if a bit ,mutually torturous (3 hours?).

Then we ran through the Gawker gauntlet, and Jeremy Piven emerged as a stronger candidate. And then we thought -- Goddamn that Piven. The fucking audacity! Can't he tone that shit down a bit? The obnoxiousness! He is, we cannot fail to note, more than marginally talented at improv, going so far as to rhetorically flattened Steven Dorff at Bungalow 8. But he appears to have drunk the Kool-Aid on how great he is as Ari Gold, and is taking things way to far for our taste, having 3-hours fucks across the screen of Crazy Days and Nights, ruining our quiet breakfast read. Is it just us or is Piven rapidly advancing among the thoroughly "Assy" of this world? Or is it "Ass-ish"?

Anyhoo: Have a care, Piven (The Corsair sips a full-bodied Madeira), you are officially on our shit list. And you don't want to be on our shitlist ..

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