Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Leonardo DiCaprio Is Not An Ass

(image via boxofficemojo)

Leonardo DiCaprio is not an ass (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Although sometimes he can come off as vaguely ass-ish (The Corsair pops a bottle of 1787 Chateau d'Yquem).

When not blasting thoroughly yummy Israeli models (Rowr), and making socially important documentaries on the planet's ecological condition, Leo -- and we feel we can call him that -- likes to threaten unruly ruffians with a little ass kicking.

Of course, that's only if his "Pussy Posse" is there to back him up.

From our favorite superhero gossip duo Rush and Molloy:

"Leonardo DiCaprio had the back of club promoter Danny A Sunday night at Upstairs. 'Danny was getting into an altercation by the bar with a regular patron,' says our witness. '[Leo] jumped up from his seat and stood right behind [Danny]. He was just glaring at this guy over Danny's shoulder, with his posse behind him.' The loud patron quickly quieted down."

Altogether now: Thank you "Pussy Posse."

Granted, DiCaprio's freakishly dead-on impression of a retarded man-boy in the underregarded "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" is a remarkable chestnut that must be revisited often to truly drink-in DiCaprio's Scorpionic talent at inhabiting the outer limits of humanity's fringe.

The freak.

Still (The Corsair ignites a Macanudo, chuckling laconically), we think the whole movie-stardom combined with the positively super-fucky girlfriend (Rowr) conspires to tangle up Leo's mane with an overabundance of pride. Ergo: Leo's getting assy.

To wit, we counsel: desist, Leo ... desist.

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