Friday, February 25, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

freddurst_prom

(Above: Fred Durst prom photo via Stereogum)

In: Fred Durst Responds. America's latest impromptu porn star, Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst creepily predicted (via Defamer) the hack on his website:

"well people, hackers, gotta love them and gotta despise them. it's the territory where we are all put in a position to be victims. kind of fun and dangerous at the same time. so don't be so gullible. i wouldn't open any chat anywhere else or i wouldn't send you email blasts about anything. i never have and won't start now. those things should come up as red flags to you. hacking isn't hard and making yourself seem believable to thousands of people through text is nothing genius to figure out. let's move on."

He concludes, with extreme crimnal-mindedness"i just wish they would concentrate on hacking the banks around the world and put millions of dollars in all of our accounts. that sounds like more of a pay off."

WTF?!

Out: Keanu Reeves, Hurling. The stars really are just like us! They spew! They hurl chunks! They get nausea! (And, what else can one do but take the "technicolor yawn" in the face of a meaningless and absurd universe?)

And here we thought celebrities just survived on the consumption of ambrosial nectars and, in due course, emitted sparkly pixie dust as waste by products.

But no. In this new, fastpaced world of easily affordable cell phone cameras, we are all papparazzi, waiting for the money shot. Defamer has a Keanu shot that you should definitely not view while eating.

And, to round things out, Below is my favorite Keanu Reeves quote of all time, from Premiere Magazine's fucking "Oral History of Keanu Reeves" (but you and The Corsair know that the true "oral history" of Keanu is splattered between Sunset Boulevard and North Beverly Drive):

On Shooting Dracula:

"Keanu Reeves: It was great to live in that environment going for a run in the morning, looking at the stars at night, going into (Francis Ford Coppola's) research library, spending time with him. You know, watching Tom Waits sing 'Waltzing Mathilda' to Winona at the piano, Winona crying. It was a beautiful life. Les enfants du paradis."

Response, from the opposite aisle:

"Ron Mwangaguhunga: Oui, c'est vrai Keanu. 'Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamais rien toutes seules, et c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours leur donner des explications.' St. Expury. C'est tout."

In: Cathy Horyn. Cathy Horyn of the Old Gray Lady sounds positively "Penthouse Letters" in her review of the Alessandra Facchinetti's show for Gucci in Milan (Or, maybe we're just not getting enough). Observe:

"Young women in prim white blouses and sensible black skirts doesn't sound all that exciting, either. But when the label is Miu Miu and the schoolmarm is Miuccia Prada, you know the innocence is just a cover."

A cover? A cover for what you ask, all innocent and sotto voce:

"Under a checked wool coat with a Mongolian fleece collar she put a white slip layered over a black leotard, a gesture that went with her models' insolent faces."

hott.

"... Hard leather bags swung on motorcycle chains. There were plush fleece coats, including one in soda-pop grape, and cute leather tams crudely stitched with black yarn."

More on the "tough sweetness" of Dolce and Gabana's lacquered jeans, and how Alberto Biani's hem puts "some sauce in your step (eew)."

Out: Getting Horses Drunk. Not cool, obviously -- but we can see ... in abstracto, how this might be construed as quite amusing. From TheSun:

"TWISTED Queen?s Guards made a horse drink huge amounts of alcohol in a cruel prank.

"Soldiers forced eight cans of strong Stella and a bottle of red wine down the animal before it went out on parade.

"The claims were probed last night by the RSPCA and Army."

Now: did the horse hold down? Or did it bitch out, like some teenager chugging his first can of Schlitz. Kiiding. But, seriously, was he a thoroughbred or a foal?

In: Alexander Payne. The 44-year old director is going to lend his juice to world cinema. According to Karina Longworth of the IndieFilm blog:

"In an effort to draw more attention to Un Certain Regard, the world-cinema showcase element of the Cannes Film Festival, Sideways director Alexander Payne has been tapped to head its jury. The category was created in 1978 in order to subsume several other sidebar events, but has only been competitive for the past six years and, amidst all the Cannes hoopla, tends to get somewhat overlooked."

3 comments:

Bubbles, Ink. said...

Yes, because Fred can really stand a few more bucks in his account, the lousy swine. Killer prom picture, though. He looks like someone who would play keyboards and synthesizers in a band called Popsynth or Section 8 or Profile or C'est La Vie--a cover band, no doubt, heavy on Simple Minds, Duran Duran, and Glass Tiger.

Ron said...

Glass Tiger!!! You made my day LX.

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