Jamie Foxx: Supermodel



Above: Ubiquitous narcissist and Oscar nominee, Jamie Fox, displaying "ass" for the camera, an open invitation to "mount."

Height? Youth? Whiteness? So very first room, true believers. In the world of high fashion modeling, my dears, Jamie Foxx makes do with sheer massive dumbness and his near cosmic self involvement. According to Hello!Magazine:

"A galaxy of stars took to the runway for a charity fashion show on Tuesday in Hollywood. Oscar nominee, Jamie Foxx ultra-chic in a white suit and sky-blue, feathered hat, lead the A-listers as he struck a pose on the catwalk at the General Motors-sponsored fashion fest. Also featured in the gala were Hilary and Hayley Duff and Red Hot Chili Pepper lead singer Anthony Kiedis. The celebrity models, who strutted their stuff against a backdrop of GM concept cars, were joined by Grammy winner Kanye West, who performed at the event."

MTV.com also took in the decor, saying:

"Foxx, who was the guest of honor earlier in the night at a nearby party hosted by L.A. Confidential magazine, pulled double duty at the fashion show, walking the runway in Dolce & Gabbana behind the new Hummer H3 and joining Kanye during his performance afterward."

You know, this would all desist if we all stopped paying attention to him. Jamie Foxx is the starved for attention three year old, disrupting every conversation at the party. He sings. He does impersonations. He acts like a buffoon.

"As the encore to West's hit-filled set, which also featured Common and Keyshia Cole, Foxx took the stage beatboxing while West freestyled about the crowd, which included Quentin Tarantino in the front row, hands in the air."

What, QT? All out of syringes and ass?

"... Foxx then shot up from his chair and sang the hook from 'Slow Jamz' while Kanye rapped his verse. 'Give it up for future Oscar winner Jamie Foxx,' West commanded."

Commands, you say? Kanye ... take Jamie Foxx's dick out of your mouth; that's better, now, realize and accept the fact that Hollywood's worshipful airs towards Jamie are in clear violation of the first commandment.

"While Foxx was ubiquitous Tuesday night, he plans to spend the rest of the week resting and preparing his acceptance speech for Sunday's awards show, where he's favored to win Best Actor for 'Ray'"

How cool would it be if Don Cheadle won for Best Actor? The Corsair believes Cheadle deserves it anyway for the accent alone (The Corsair's mom, who is Tutsi, said it was perfect) Wouldn't you love to see the Foxx camera close up as the words, "And the Oscar goes to ... omigod!-- Don Cheadle!" In that moment, do you think Foxx would throw furniture and get all ghetto up in the bitch? Huh, do you?

"'I don't know if I can [top the Golden Globes speech],' Foxx said. 'I saw Sidney Poitier a few days ago. There was no speech I have ever seen like the speech he gave to his friends at his private birthday party. He is the book, I'm the preface. Maybe someday I'll develop into a book, that's what I told him.'"

Overly ambitious, Jamie. Your reach exceeds your grasp. Baby steps first. Let's begin with: Maybe someday you will develop into a porno mag. Or a Jehovah's Witness bible tract.

"I talked to (Sidney Poitier) and he said, [impersonating the veteran actor] 'I saw you one time and our eyes connected.' He was giving me advice. He said, 'I'm giving you responsibility to go out and keep doing your craft.' "

The Corsair sees a future of endless biopics and impersonations done for media interviews (in much the same way Robin Williams annoyingly breaks into his manic antics until reporters feign amusement) in Jamie Foxx's future (Tyson?), and, should he win the Oscar over the hugely talented Don Cheadle, a fatuous acceptance speech ... an endlessly fatuous acceptance speech will be our collective punishment for indulging his self indulgence.