JLo to Fashion Week: "Only the fly need reply"

One can only imagine a New Yorker cartoon that goes something like this: A frowning gentleman is sitting at a table at a fashionable restaurant pointing to his watch. A beautiful model-like woman is just taking her seat staring doe-eyed at her companion. Her mouth is slightly agape. One word of dialogue at the bottom: "I am on Marc Jacobs time."

The Houston Chronicle explores the damage:

"... Jacobs' show Monday began nearly two hours late. The normally too-cool-to-care fashion crowd grew so restless they chanted and stomped on the New York State Armory's metal bleachers. Even celebrities like Beyonc� and Drew Barrymore, usually ushered in just as the lights go down, were cooling their heels along the runway.

"The show lasted just 15 minutes and drew tepid applause. When Jacobs came out to acknowledge the crowd, he shrugged his shoulders and mouthed, 'Sorry.'

"Reportedly, he'd been furiously sewing backstage to remake an outfit. Jacobs' sewing skills and perfectionist streak have been among the hot topics of fashion week conversation."

Also at Marc Jacobs, "Smart move: Uma Thurman was so pestered by the paparazzi she and her boyfriend, hotelier Andre Balazs, had to watch the show from behind the fake trees. "

But we digress. That was then, JLo owns tomorrow. According to Liz Smith:

"Tomorrow, in what is expected to be the big event of Fashion Week, Lopez and Andy Hilfiger unveil the Sweetface collection, at the Tent in Bryant Park. Movie stars, fashionistas, pop, rock and soul icons and celebs without brains will battle for front seats.

"The invite says, 'Only the fly need reply.'

"Oh, stop that, Jenny from the block. Aren't you creating for the masses who perhaps don't fly so high?"

Oh snap. While, yes, it is rare that Liz Smith ventures forth to so roundly bitchslap the errant celebrity in her column, but in this case she was quite right for doing so. Liz might also consider offering the backhand to Michael Kors, according to the AP:

"... Kors' instructions to his models were to be glamorous and sporty. 'Your Oscar is on the library shelf. ... You out-ski the paparazzi' was written on a backstage poster the models would pass before stepping onto the runway."

Michael Vollbracht, who many believe will carry the legacy of Bill Blass, told Capital News, "I had to divorce myself. He is an icon. I will never be as rich as Bill Blass. I will never be as famous, good looking. I have to honor him and keep in his path. I can't duplicate that. I have to respect the lady that he always respected and keep it that way."

"But never say never. The transition has been smooth. Vollbrach continues to attract the most discerning socialites, the ladies and big time celebrities like Janet Jackson and Bernadette Peters."

Jackson's stylist introduced her to Blass, according to the Houston Chronicle. And the San Francisco Chronicle notes: "I take in the serenely pretty Narciso Rodriguez show, back at the tents ...

"Then I notice a very odd thing. In his credits, he doesn't mention those shoes, but at the very end is this:

"'Leonard Peltier is innocent.'''

WTF?!