Pete Doherty ... as Addictive as Crack



Their chemical romance. (image via Thisislondon)

He's the hipsterish former rent-boy crackhead who almost --almost! -- ruined her career; she's the high-class fashion model with what Johnny Depp once famously characterized as "that high water booty." (simultaneous translator: a plump, convex ass) Oh: It's on like Gray Poupon! According to the extremely downmarket Newsoftheworld:

"KATE MOSS and junkie badboy PETE DOHERTY are an item again, I can exclusively reveal."

Do you imagine she missed suckling his crack-ravaged lips? Burn blisters, we can only hazard to guess, make for an all-the-more memorable encounter. (Averted Gaze) This is the British press, though, so we'll take it with a grain of, uh, crackrock:

"The couple have enjoyed a string of nights together at her �2.5 million country retreat in Gloucestershire.

"And she's even given him a key to her new pad in St John's Wood, north London."

Let's be precise about our terminology, guys. A "key" by any other name would smell as acrid and chemical-mediciney:

"It comes just days after Doherty scrawled 'I love Kate 4eva' on his car window as he left court after facing new drugs charges. Last night a source revealed: 'It's the news Kate's been trying to hide, but it's true they're spending more and more time together.'"

Love is like "scratchitti." (A considerable pause) It signifies ... forever.

"'Lots of people will find this hard to understand but Kate has deep feelings for Pete and she's not going to throw them away.

"...'They've been talking a lot on the phone and have had phone sex. She giggles about how turned on they both get.'

Altogether now: Eeeeeew. More:

"The revelation shatters claims the pair split for good after Kate's cocaine shame left her career hanging by a thread.

"Kate's laid down some ground rules though. My source close to the model, 32, revealed: 'She's told Doherty he has four weeks to show her he can keep out of trouble and away from drugs. She is worried about being tarnished with unpredictable Pete just when everything's on the right track with her career and daughter.'

"Kate was spotted out this weekend with three-year-old LILA GRACE and her ex, JEFFERSON HACK, and is due to see Pete next week."

The full, disgusting, crack-scented and glass-dickishstory here.