A Little of the Old In and Out

(image via destination)

In: Sandra Bullock. Everyone wants to work with "Sandy." How did Sandra Bullock get her Mojo back?

When last we left her she had married a heavily tatooed biker, left the Hollywood film grind to Exec. Produce a successful television show, and generally fallen off the radar after the embarrasing "Speed," and -- worse -- "Miss Congelity" sequels. (Averted Gaze)

And then came, serendiptiously, "Crash," which has amped up the hotness for Paul Haggis and, of all people, Sandra Bullock, who, in all fairness, was only a single monad in a sparkling ensemble cast that appeared, at times, to include the entire Beverly Hills zip code. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) But as we all know, Americans are suckers for a good redemption story. So, let the Redemption of Sandy Bullock begin. According to Popwatch:

"Following her turn as Harper Lee in Infamous (the forthcoming second Truman Capote biopic), Sandra Bullock (pictured) will play another real-life writer. She's starring in a biopic of Peyton Place author Grace Metalious, whose dirt-dishing novel scandalized her suburban neighbors and ruined her life. Writing the screenplay is Running on Empty screenwriter Naomi Foner (a.k.a. Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal's mom)."

Tara Reid to Universe: "Panties be damned"!

Out:Tara Reid. Tara Reid, Sloppy Mistress of the "Taradise Empire;" she, slatternly, of the asymetrical ass-cheeks, is at it again. And in the worst of places. No self-respecting person should be anywhere near the vicinity of the Dennis Rodman's house in the morning or, for that matter, any other time. (Averted Gaze) According to MediaGab:

"A well-lubricated Tara Reid was seen outside of Dennis Rodman's Newport Beach house on Wednesday morning, paying off a local resident after slamming into their car.

"According to our eyewitness, Ms. Reid's 'pupils were clearly dialated, for what reason I don't know.'

"After exiting their respective vehicles, Tara told the owner of the other vehicle that she 'didn't want to deal with insurance,' and promptly handed the gentleman $700 dollars to 'forget it ever happened.'"

(image via cooltunes)

In: Cyma Zarghami, President of Nickelodeon Television. As children are early adopters, it makes sense that Nikelodeon television should mount an aggressive strategy to gain their brand loyalty. But ... how much is to much? Targeted marketing to kids is an ethical grey zone, to be sure; Nikolodeon, however, seems head and shoulder above the rest.

Viacom's Nikelodeon Television has been one of the most interesting media properties to observe for the last two decades. The legendary Gerry Laybourne pioneered Nickelodeon's user-friendly image (and, via "Nick at Nite," a " tongue-in-cheek" and Boomer-friendly vibe as well) mainly because she came to Viacom NOT as a corporate programmer, but as a career changing prep-school teacher committing to enriching the lives of kids. Nothing is likely to change, as Cyma Zarghami has a degree in early education from the University of Vermont's School of Education and Social Services.

Parents have acute bullshit detectors when it comes to their children, so a Nickolodeon President with a background and temperament towards early education is a good move. At the dawn of Web 2.0, however, Nick Goes Multiplatform. Says Paidcontent:

"The new programming slate Nickelodeon is showing off for its upfront ad presentations includes a number of programs developed from alternative platforms -- including video games, broadband and even a podcast. (Nick Jr. has ordered 26 5-7 minute episodes of musical animation series 'Wow! Wow! Wubbzy' (26 episodes premiering in 2007), originally launched as the net's first podcast.)

"Cyma Zarghami, president, Nickelodeon and MTVN Kids and Family Group, told the upfront audience (via B&C): 'We are in a digital era for kids, and our mission, obviously, is to keep up with kids, so we want to put our content on all the platforms they�re looking for.' To that end, among other things, Nickelodeon is: -- launching The Inkubators Lab in Burbank to develop original animated content made to use across platforms including broadband, wireless, portable video devices, online and gaming. -- adding video podcasts, available on Nick.com and iTunes. -- adding 100-plus new games during 2006-2007 season."



(image via pathfinder)

Out: Pervez Musharaaf. We are stuck with "General" Musharraf because the alternative is unacceptable and virtually unimaginable under the present state of global pandemonium. The President's lush photo-op with The General was a concession to suggestion of symmetrical regional dealings -- or, at least the appearance thereof -- between the U.S. and India, Pakistan's archrival.

Pakistan is a nuclear power and thus cannot fall into the hands of Muslim fundamentalists hostile to the United States. That's why we have those awkward photo shoots where the President stands with the soi-dissant "General," he, clad in crisp military fatgues. (Averted Gaze) Worse: Brangelina -- diploshats, as it were -- sitting, languidly, at the end of a couch, photo-opping, shooting the tyrant moist fuck-me eyes. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

(A considerable pause) Unfortunately, our "support" of Musharaaf only gives leverage to the hand of the Fundamentalist demogogues who would strengthen their unsavory agendas by calling to attention American involvement -- however tentative -- with the tyrant. Fuck. (The Corsair sparks a Cohiba Robusto) It is, you can imagine, a rum-business of compromise, this (The Corsair gestures world-wearliy, absently trailing cigar smoke): International Diplomacy. (The Corsair pours himself a glass of the black wine of Cahors, elixir of Popes) According to Arnaud de Brochgrave:

"In private huddles with American interlocutors, Pakistan's President Gen. Pervez Musharraf agrees, in principle, with any U.S. concept or notional future option for the war on terrorism. No sooner is the U.S. visitor airborne than survival instincts dictate how fighting is done every step of the way.

"In Pakistan, the military ruler's 'yes' or 'no'is only an interim response. This convoluted modus operandi prompted President Bush, on his 24-hour, first-time visit to a Pakistani capital city in total lockdown, to say, 'Part of my mission today was to determine whether or not the president is as committed as he has been in the past to bringing these terrorists to justice, and he is.' But Mr. Musharraf is also hemmed in by six politico-religious parties -- known as the Muttahidda Majlis-e-Amal, or MMA coalition -- that govern the two provinces that border Afghanistan and whose followers sympathize with al Qaeda and Taliban.

"A pariah under the Clinton administration, Pakistan's promotion to 'major non-NATO ally' by Mr. Bush applies primarily to Pervez Musharraf. The people he rules are overwhelmingly anti-U.S., and, according to public opinion surveys, trust Osama bin Laden more than President Bush. Mr. Musharraf's perpetual motion machine is a death-defying balancing act between pleasing Mr. Bush and not provoking the pro-jihadist elements that run Baluchistan and the Northwest Frontier Province, control 25 percent of the federal assembly, and see Mr. Bush as the villain and bin Laden as the hero.

"In India, Mr. Bush has a 70 percent favorable rating; in Pakistan, it's 70 percent unfavorable."

Sweet. (Averted Gaze) More here.



(image via naturalbornviewers)

In: Juliette Binoche. Ultrasexy and elegant French indie actress Juliette Binoche -- most recently magnificent is "Cache" -- is taking on a big-budget Hollywood comedy opposite two of the most dazzling comic actors of the Age, namely: red-hott Steve Carrell, and MySpace adventurer, Dane Cook (Who has, we cannot fail to note, an astonishing 947,367 MySpace friends; many of whom attend his shows around the country).

We can't fucking hardly wait.

Carrell and Cook play two siblings who fall in love with her, which does not require much suspension of disbelief, considering a generation of artsy men -- and women, for that matter -- fell in love with Binoche when she played the effervescent Tereza in "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." (Or, better yet: "The Widow of Saint Pierre")

But we digress. According to Variety:

"Juliette Binoche will star alongside Steve Carell in 'Dan in Real Life,' the Touchstone romantic comedy to be directed by Peter HedgesPeter Hedges.

"In the pic, which starts shooing in October, Carell plays a widower with three daughters who writes a parenting advice column but finds all his well-honed formulas tested when he goes on a family vacation and falls in love with the girlfriend of his younger brother. Binoche will play that girl, and Dane Cook plays his sibling.

"Pierce Gardner wrote the script and Jon Shestack is producing. Brad Epstein is overseeing the pic for the studio."