Mariah, rocking the deer-in-the-headlights look. (image via ananova)
We're not saying that Mariah Carey has gone back to ... "breaking dishes and glasses". (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Ho, no: Heaven forfend!
We're just saying that inviting journalists to, uh, knead your body like so much sourdough is kind of , well, bewildering. (Averted Gaze) First, there was yesterday's report of invited groping from those intrepid Page Sixxies:
"WITH another Oscar-cast under its belt, Hollywood's A-list boozed and schmoozed into the wee hours of yesterday morning. High in the hills at Soho House L.A., Mike DeLuca, Rick Yorn and Patrick Whitesell hosted their annual 'after-after party' for VIPs looking to cut loose after Vanity Fair's tightly scripted to-do at Mortons.
"And let loose they did. 'Everyone said I was fat, so I did something about it,' slap-happy songbird Mariah Carey blurted to Page Six, seemingly out of nowhere.
"'Here! Feel my thighs! Feel my butt!'"
(A considerable pause) Oh, Lord: Where's Andre Leon Talley when Mariah "needs guidance." We can think of better things than pulling on Mariah's crasy-ass "Laffy Taffee." Crazy might be contagious. And we don't want to catch the kind of crazy that clings to Mariah.
"After several requests, Page Six agreed to fondle her newly firmed physique, and can confirm the absence of unsightly 'jelly.'
"'See?' Carey said, proudly. 'I'll never be a stick woman, but now I'm fierce!'"
Whatevs. And today, according to the 3AM Girls:
"Speaking to our Eva and caroline at en exclusive Beverly Hills post-Oscars bash on Sunday, (Mariah Carey) said: 'I've been working out like mad - you can even punch me in the stomach and feel how tight that is.'
"'But I've gotta slow it down cos the other day someone told me I was losing my ass - and I don't want to lose that.'"
Concave, crack-smokers ass is, indeed, a tragedy, we'll admit. But tone it down on the invitations to stomach punches, Mariah. There are a lot of angry ticketbuyers who saw "Glitter," people who lost 2 precious hours of their lives, and Mariah may not -- how does one say this? -- appreciate the velocity of the punches that will come fast and furious from that crowd.
I'm just saying.
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