From the AfterPartys



(image via wireimage)

Frankly, we're glad that "Crash" won for Best Picture, if only to mitigate the maniacal Jack Nicholson descending into madness in "The Shining" sort-of vibe emanating, creepily, from Ryan Philippe as Wifey's acceptance speech wore on. Lindsay Lohan -- or, LiLo as we like to call her -- also had nothing but saccharine praise for Reece Witherspoon at the Vanity Fair party. This, from MTVNews:

"'I think she's just really lovable as a person,' a dark-haired Lindsay Lohan said of Reese Witherspoon, whose acceptance speech she cited as her favorite. 'I just thought her speech was really graceful, and she was so calm about it. I would have been bawling up there!'

--What the fu-u-ck?! We thought Linds was off the the "booger sugar". Oh ... bawling, with a "w" (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) We thought you said ..

But we digress. Anyone with anything firsthand email me at papermag@yahoo.com. This, from the San Jose Merc, from the Vanity Fair afterparty (our invitation was probably lost in the mail):

"Last year's Best Actress Oscar winner Hilary Swank, who told reporters in January she wanted to work on her marriage with newly separated husband Chad Lowe, showed up sans hubby and surrounded by a ring of men - a far cry from last year's lovefest with Lowe and her 'Million Dollar Baby' prize.



Coffee, tea, or me .. (image via ohnotheydidnt via wireimage)

"... as Vanity Fair's party raged past 1:30 a.m., both bashes at the Pacific Design Center dwindled into nothingness.

"'The city told Elton John's party to close down at 1 a.m.' sheriff's Sgt. Timothy Louis told The Associated Press. 'Hey, this is Hollywood. I would let it go until 4 a.m.'"

Somewhere, Graydon Carter is softly chuckling and wringing his hands together like a 1950s villain. But before that, at Sir Elton's party, from the Atlanta-Journal Constitution:

"At its star-studded height early today more than 2,000 invited guests sang along to 'Rocket Man' at Sir Elton John�s 14th annual Oscar party benefiting the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

"On stage, pop star John Legend and the Peachtree Road resident himself, blinged out with gem-encrusted eyeglasses, diamond necklaces and a hypnotizing five-carat emerald cut earring, banged away on his trademark Red Piano while performing a duet for the formally attired crowd.

"... "Elton is the single reason that I can get Ozzy to come to this,� (Sharon Osbourne) told the AJC. 'He simply adores him.'

"As always, John�s Oscar night bash was a celebrity magnet. 'Basic Instinct' actress Sharon Stone successfully bid $170,000 for the piano that the singer-songwriter played on."

Okay: big question of the evening is -- What happened to Eddie Van Halen? Is there some Van Halen curse or something? First, David Lee Roth's unlistanable radio show, now this:



WTF?! (image via usnews3)