Kate Moss' Satyricon



(image via tv2)

We all have something in common with Kate Moss this morning. And, no, we don't mean what Johnny Depp characterized as that "highwater booty." (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)

A hangover.

Kate Moss' drunken, rambling Odyssey-Satyricon has her navigating the jaded nightlife scene of London with assorted members of the Primrose Hill Set. (Averted Gaze) Her highwater booty swishing and sashaying -- concave ass-cheeks disappearing altogether into the London fog when she turns sideways -- no doubt swearing like a truckdriver the entire time.

It was duly chronicled by the 3AM Girls, who really live up to their name -- and then some -- in their cautionary tale of a Kate night out:

"SUPERMODEL Kate Moss must be nursing a super-sized hangover today after a head banging 21-hour booze bender.

"Kate, who spent a month in rehab last year to quit cocaine, started her binge on Thursday evening and didn't call it a day until 3pm yesterday. She kicked off the session with Davinia Taylor at 6pm and things hotted up an hour later when Stella McCartney pitched up at Kate's place in Primrose Hill, London.

"The trio then headed to see Jack White's new band the Raconteurs play at the Astoria.

"Our Primrose Hill-billy tells us: 'It was a right knees-up from the off. The girls were ready to really let their hair down."

We're pretty sure that the 3AM Girls don't mean what we Anericans usually mean by "knees up." Jude Law or no Jude Law. More:

"'Stella and Kate were like big kids as they clambered into their car for the gig.'

"Mum-of-one Kate then hooked up with divorced couple Sadie Frost and Jude Law.

"'Sadie and Jude took great care not to be snapped together,' our mole reveals.

"'Afterwards Jude couldn't hide his happiness when he convinced Jack to join them for a drink.'

"The gang waddled down to the Phoenix bar in Soho together and old pals Jude and Kate were laughing and joking to each other before they went in.

"Kate loosened up even more after a few bevvies to celebrate her return to her old hardpartying ways.

"When she came out of the bar she bawled at the waiting paparazzi: 'Get some of this,' launching into a stunning photoshoot pose.

"We're told: 'Kate was in a really flirty mood and even admitted she got a kick out of teasing the snappers.' She and Sadie then headed straight to a party at the Islington home of outrageous artist Jake Chapman.

"Our spy continues: 'Sadie was one of the first to leave at about 4am."

Sadie Frost: Perpetual killjoy.

"'She was so trollied she tripped and hid her face behind a coat.

"At 4.30 a tipsy-looking Kate stuck her head out to check on her driver.

"'She told him she couldn't be bothered going home but he could take her mates back instead.'

"After that the Croydon-born babe did not resurface until yesterday afternoon."

(A considerable pause) Now we know what she does with the 8 gallons of bottled water she orders a day. Intravenously replenishes herself. More here.