Oscar Wrap-Up

First off, Kathy Griffin was deeply missed. The Giuliana-Isaac-Ryan Seacrest trio seemed forced. Issac Mizrahi is gloriously shallow and eccentric (as we all know and love in small Award season doses), Giuliana seemed antsy to get a closer gander at Manwhore George Clooney (wasn't everybody?), and Ryan Seacrest ... God, we'd love to punch him in his self-satisfied, plastic face. A stiff right cross, you know?

The strained relationshipping of the Trio, on Oscar night (on E!, no less), was .. not a good thing. EW's Popwatch -- a secret Corsair obsession -- does a good job liveblogging the pre-Oscar hecticness. Some gems:

"Ludacris bristles when Isaac calls his earrings 'cute.' Thankfully, Isaac does not touch his chest, because you get the feeling it would not go over very well at all.

"... Ryan narrates as Jessica Alba�s publicist appears to tell her to put on more lip gloss. This is actually the kind of commentary I find fascinating: watching people be micromanaged. I don�t want to see them be fake; I want to see someone explain to them how to be more fake.

"... 7:55 p.m. John Travolta appears to be wearing his favorite hair helmet."

More here. Howard Stern also got into the morning-after Oscar commentary. From Marksfriggin:

"Gary told Howard he had a clip of Serena Williams he might want to play. He played that clip and Serena called Phillip Seymour Hoffman ''Phillip Semen Hoffmore.''"

Tara Reid went all passive-aggressive in her dissatisfaction with Hollywood, according to those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"TARA Reid knows the truth about diamonds: Stock up while you can. Or so it seemed at Rose McGowan's private luncheon at the Diamond Acquifer Oscar suite at Soho House in Hollywood. Twenty of her pals were on hand, including Donovan Leitch and Kirsty Hume, and a pricey gift bag that included a $1,000 diamond bracelet had been set aside for each. But, 'Tara and some friends came and swiped almost all of the gift bags,' a supremely miffed Diamond Acquifer employee tells Page Six. 'Gone! They took them all! Thieves!'"

That's what happens when you roll the jinxy "Tara-dice" and invite Reid and her friends. It all comes up craps.